To think 10 pounds isn't enough

[Montaza]

to raise an 8 month old? As my ex seems to think so! He's never paid a penny for my 8 month old son but said he would send me money the day after his birthday as he was getting some money. Two days after I asked where it was as he was supposed to transfer it to me. He replied with "I only got 30 so just wait until Monday". Monday came and I received another message "That's all I can afford". I checked my account and 10 had been transferred!

He's never seen my son, I've said he's welcome to and asked if he would like any pictures of him but he said no. I don't think his friends and family even know he has a son to be honest. We were together almost two years but he moved back in with his mum 140 miles away after I told him I was pregnant. He blocked my number for about 7 months too. He works minimal hours as he doesn't have any outgoings.

Aibu to think 10 pounds is nowhere enough after 8 months and is actually an insulting amount?

Osolea a man can cowardly remove himself from responsibility for his sexual actions by running away - as OP's ex has done - and leaving it all to the woman. It's a lot harder for a woman to run off and leave it all to the man when she has to carry and give birth to the baby. Not everyone sees termination as an option (and I say this from a pro-choice standpoint) and I'm sure OP wouldn't appreciate your apparent suggestion that she should have just had an abortion when she looks at her 8 month old. Sounds like you're doing a great job OP, your LO doesn't need your useless ex in their life.

Op I would be making another call to csa, then one to hmrc to shop him for tax evasion. Then I'd call the csa again to sort out the chasing before moving on with my life. He is a massive bellend and your child doesn't need a massive bellend in his life.

And here's a for those living in the dark ages...

Thanks Mumma! You're right he doesn't need him!

Movingonup - I'm going to do that first thing Monday! Agreed re him being a bellend!

But people only want equality when it benefits women.

Surely this is an issue of equality to give a child a fair contribution to his upbringing from both his parents, not in order to benefit women?

Exactly Jeeves.

The money is for THE CHILD. The child who didn't ask to be born.

If you don't want to risk becoming a parent the only way is to abstain from sex. If you want the sex you take the consequences.

All this what about the men shite really grinds my gears. He gets to choose not to be responsible for the child, not to raise it and not to care for it. The very LEAST, the absolute LEAST thing he can do is make a financial contribution because he is giving zero time and zero energy and zero lost nights sleep to bringing up the child.

Yes I agree it is my son missing out. Luckily he has a really positive male role model, my dad. I know it's no substitute but it is a good thing.

And you :)

Honestly OP have no more contact with him. I've wasted years trying to get ex to be a dad. Some people just make shit parents.

Go through the CSA at least than it is done through the appropriate channels.

But honestly I'd shut the door on him. You can't just turn up years down the line and meet your child. Parenting doesn't work like that.

As for expecting the OP to get ok with it and she didn't abort. What utter bollocks. If you have a child you do your best by them. I cannot fathom how anybody could think otherwise tbh.

what a total insult

honestly what is wrong with these "men"

id cut contact. your ds doesn't need a wasteman like that in his life

Sorry he is a waste of space O.P.
I would also go CSA route.
The benefit post was ridiculous people can have what opinions they like on benefits but they are intended to help people. I have no problem with tax being spent to help mothers who have been left alone with a baby with no financial help from the fathers. Some people have a superiority complex.

Yes I know he's a waste of space. I suppose I just want to do right by my son. It's so hard when he just doesn't want to know. But I am thankful for my son every day