To think that 20 months is old enough to understand the word no?

[TheHouseOnTheLane]

MIL doesn't think it is. She says "He has to be taught at the right time....he's just a baby!" about nephew's penchant for carrying all manner of dangerous tools around.

He will pick up a screwdriver for eg and walk off. MIL then hurries after him asking for it back.

And shadowing him in case he falls on it.

I and DH said "Just take it!" and she says no. He will "give it back in his own time when he's ready."

Wtf?

She does this when he has saws, sharp tools, cutlery....my DD's belongings, MILS phone....my DC don't want to be around him anymore because nobody can say "no" to him.

SIL works so MIL looks after him a lot...and if we visit, he's always there!

My DGD is just over a year and is perfectly able to understand no. Having, said that when she comes to my house I put anything that is dangerous or precious out of reach so I don't say no/don't touch very often.

I don't believe in stopping children doing things that require tools, just not things that can cause them devastating injuries.

I don't care how happy the parents are with their DC running around with dangerous implements, if I were looking after a child I most certainly wouldn't let said child toddle around with a screwdriver in his/her hand whilst in my charge.

Small children have a habit on falling on their bums suddenly and anything in their hands will jerk upwards.

So the pp who said if he stabs himself with a screwdriver he won't do it again firmly believes that once he's stabbed himself in the eye that will be sufficient for him to learn not to do it again? Yeah, you're probably right.

Christ. At 20 months DD was at the top of a stepladder with a screwdriver "helping" daddy. Lighten up.

my son is 20 months
he understands no
and stop
and give it to me
but does he do it no!! and thats the answer i get "no" in different tones and levels and shrieks and shouts

he rules my life

I don't care how 'progressive' it is, I wouldn't want my young kids in the vicinity of such tools.

Yes you can teach them how to handle a screwdriver or a saw but you cannot guarantee they won't injure themselves.

Put potentially dangerous stuff out of the way and eliminate the need to say no or snatch stuff off of the child?

If your dd is 7 she is old and big enough to stop a toddler from taking her toys. A 20 month old is old enough to understand no, but is likely to have zero impulse control. Seems like the 20 month old is having a great time helping granny in the shed.

Well at 20 months dd1 responded to a question "I'll be down in moment, I just choosing" So I think not expecting them to understand the word "no" is somewhat patronising.