To wonder is it more socially acceptable to moan and be unhappy than share happiness?

[Academ]

Just generally I mean really, I hear mums at the school gate and they are all bemoaning about whose life is worse than whose, if I see family or friends the first thing I seem to hear about is all negative, on here people generally seem to hate happy FB posts etc. I just seem to increasingly hear people generally moaning about small things when on the whole their lives (as far as I can tell) are generally good. Is it a British thing? I also notice it with myself, over the last couple of years we have had a really rough time... I would chat with people about this and people wanted to hear. Now things are really, really good, and I find myself sharing it less, sensing people don't want to hear happy things so I don't say too much... Absolutely could just be me and maybe I need to rethink who I surround myself with but just wondered if anyone else felt/ thought this?

No you're completely right . I feel far more comfortable talking about the things that are wrong in my life . People must think I really hate my life. I would feel very strange telling people how great everything was.

Schadenfreude- a great German word for the joy people get from other people's misfortune.

People don't want their friends to be really miserable or seriously ill, but lots of people enjoy hearing about how your child has been a pain in the arse or how you had an unpleasant encounter with an officious traffic cop.

We give our friends pleasure by recounting these mishaps with a bit of humour.

Agree. When you are happy about something it feels like your showing off so you say nothing. Moaning though is fine. Its sad that people can't celebrate things without feeling guilty

I find it's the other way round. Everyone wants to portray themselves as problem-free, sociable and "busy busy busy". They'll drop anyone they see as "negative" because it's only acceptable to be 100 per cent positive the entire time.

I agree with you. I know a couple of people who seem to think the only way to make conversation with others is by finding something to moan about, and I think it is a British thing. People seem to bond over common complaints, I find it really draining to be around.

Agree with celtictoast.

In my experience, people pretend everything's fine when it isn't and then the bomb gets dropped - someone's husband has been having an affair, someone's been signed off work with depression and everyone's surprised because they seemed so happy.

As Woody Allen said, life is made up of misery, loneliness and suffering - and it's all over far too soon.

I think sometimes it's seen to be more "acceptable" to moan.

It's difficult to post about happy, happy stuff as we all have friends/family who are going through hard times for one reason or another, so to put happy stuff up seems like a boast, or rubbing their noses into their difficulties, so it's easier to keep quiet.

Also, people (even on Mumsnet!) who post about good stuff sometimes seem to be shot down in flames for "stealth boasting" so it's difficult to find a balance.

Other people don't like it when "you" tell them how well your doing/how happy you are. God forbid that someone else is happy & fulfilled with their lot.

I found out the hard way that being happy makes others very envious or that think that your showing off, a snob or think your better than them. So now I tell no one my business, good or bad. Unfortunately that's the way society has become.