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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to refuse medication or help

11 replies

sltorres9 · 01/10/2015 10:31

hi everyone, this is my first post so please be kind! i have a 15mo son and i'm 99% sure i have extreme pnd if not that then something else that requires medication. these feelings started when i was 4 months post partum and i was nearly sectioned in a hospital because doctors thought my feelings were too extreme to ignore however my mum soon found out and put a stop to me going there she thought i was just making it up, my mum has never known the true extent of my feelings nor does she ever help me. i cry all day long about how my life has changed, i resent myself for getting pregnant, resent my oh for also getting me pregnant, resent my lb for being so difficult. i have no friends, no help and really no life. the only place i get to go is the supermarket and its really getting me down. i hate being a mother, hate how my life has changed, hate how i've changed, i don't laugh at things anymore, i have no desire to do anything, no desire to even get out of bed, no desire to even be living anymore, frankly i am starting to wish i had never become a mother. i don't feel like i could confide in my gp because they will try and section me again and i don't want medication as i know its addictive but i don't really knowwhat i expect

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 01/10/2015 10:34

Why do you think medication will be addictive?

It sounds as though you do need to talk to your GP.

DearTeddyRobinson · 01/10/2015 10:42

Anti depressants are not addictive. They can quite literally be life savers. Think of it as, if you had high blood pressure, you would take the required meds, right? Depression is no different in that sense, just an illness that needs treating.
Please go to your GP, help is available and you really don't have to feel like this.
I have had depression including during both pregnancies, it was pretty severe and the meds really saved me. Good luck x

ChoudeBruxelles · 01/10/2015 10:48

I think taking some ads could be the start of you feeling better. I understand your concerns about them (I felt anxious myself) about taking them but they have allowed me to put things into more perspective and I'm now having counselling. Something I wouldn't have bee able to do without them.

Go to see your gp they'll be happy to talk through your worries and won't force you to take anything

LittleRedSparke · 01/10/2015 10:50

" i was nearly sectioned in a hospital because doctors thought my feelings were too extreme to ignore however my mum soon found out and put a stop to me going there she thought i was just making it up, my mum has never known the true extent of my feelings nor does she ever help me"

Your mum stopped you because she thought you were making it up? Seriously? thats horrific

You need to go back to the drs and ask for help - you would get help if you broke your leg? you would take a painkiller if you had a headache?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 01/10/2015 10:51

See your gp. Explain your concerns about medications.
There may be other things to help you?

Even if it is a list of places to meet other parents.

Meds might work. See what they suggest?

Unless you are a very young teen mum, you don't have to follow your parents rules any More.

Stompylongnose · 01/10/2015 10:57

AIBU is not the right place for this.

Medication is not addictive. I'm not a doctor but would it help to have a professional to explain anti-depressants to you?

Having a baby is so hard. It's not only physically traumatic but the emotionally too. At the moment you probably can't see the woods for the trees but it is possible to recover from PND. (I've done it twice and so has millions/billions of others)

You need to focus on getting YOU better. Right now it probably feels like you have a million problems that can't be fixed but if you start with you then the others can be worked on. Anti-depressants helped to lift the constant haze.

I'm concerned that your mother does not seem to have your best interests at heart. Is there a reason why you haven't told her how you feel? I am NC with my mother because she is so unsympathetic to my mental health issues and feel much better for it.

Do you have help with the baby? Or any friends that you can confide in? PND is frighteningly common but not spoken about. Recently someone on my FB confessed that she had just recovered from crippling PND. She has a great job, supportive husband, friends and extended family and it really shocked me. Logically I know that mental health issues can happen to anyone but she has the perfect life on paper and was still embarrassed.

Don't feel that your PND is something that you have to hide and suffer with. It's common, many have been there and people want to help.

((((((Hugs)))))))

MissMoo22 · 01/10/2015 11:00

I was also unwilling to try anti depressants to control my anxiety as I have seen family be on them for years BUT I gave it a go anyway. They have honestly saved my ass this past few months. I initially went on them for anxiety related to my IBS but think they have maybe helped me not develop depression as so many things have happened this past few months that normally would have had me at breaking point but I have been dealing with them just fine and I know I owe that to the ADs.

Please get help, you deserve to be happy and enjoy your son. They won't turn your life around or have you living in a bubble. Once the initial settling period is over (around 2-3 weeks usually, during which you might feel a little foggy or 'off' but that will pass and you'll just be more focused and able to cope) you'll be able to focus on ways to help yourself and you might find more energy for life or the ability to discuss your problems with someone instead of keeping quiet.

There's no shame in taking anti depressants.

DonkeyOaty · 01/10/2015 11:33

Certainly the old style antids were addictive but the new (in medical terms) SSRIs are not.

You need to confide in your GP - and if you need in patient treatment to get better then that is a good thing, yes? Do think of the impact on your child whilst you remain untreated - seeing you crying all day long, feeling resented, it's not the best for your child.

I know you are anxious about meds but really LOADS of us have been there, and have had our lives TRANSFORMED.

kissmethere · 01/10/2015 12:13

Your feelings sound really extreme and I don't know how else you're going to be to break out of this. If you were my dd if be seriously worried about you and would do everything to help. I really hope you get to see your GP and tell them exactly what you've said here.

auntyclot · 01/10/2015 12:28

That isn't true, Donkey. Older style tricyclic antidepressants are not addictive and for some people they are more effective than SSRI's with more manageable side effects.

OP, you need treatment for this illness, you owe it to yourself and your baby.

DonkeyOaty · 01/10/2015 13:49

Oh right, sorry for misinformation. Blush Thank you aunty.

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