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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Billing a no-show guest

44 replies

MidniteScribbler · 01/10/2015 00:33

USA Today News

It's not a DM link, I promise. Although their version of the story is here for those so inclined.

So who is being rude here? The bride who sent the bill, or the guest who didn't bother trying to make alternative arrangements (she or her husband could have stayed home and one gone to the wedding), didn't bother calling to let anyone know, didn't bother sending a gift?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 01/10/2015 09:08

"I guess I don't know what the right answer would have been. What the right thing to do would have been," she said.

How thick is she? The right thing to do was to at least send a text to explain why they couldn't attend.

EponasWildDaughter · 01/10/2015 09:33

Ridiculous and rude.

Yes, the couple should have said they couldn't come, but the food still wouldn't have got eaten anyway.

Why get bitter and vengeful about one bloody meal when you've (clearly) paid thousands and thousands for one day and that couple not turning up was a drop in the ocean of other arrangements and expenses?

I woudn't want to taint my own wedding day memories by this silly behavior at the end no matter how big the do, tbh.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 01/10/2015 10:10

I-d say the bride. She's acting like a entitled spoiled princess IMO.
Her guests mother could not watch her children, and she only told her last minute, what was she supposed to do leave them so she could go and oooohhhh and awwww over her wedding, plus it would have been too late to find another baby sitter by then, and some people won't leave their children with anyone but their grandparents or she may not have had anyone else, we don't know.
What's her friend going to do anyway if she won't give the money.

LittleRedSparke · 01/10/2015 11:24

was it just me that had to look up what a Walleye is then?? totally misses point of the thread

limitedperiodonly · 01/10/2015 11:39

I did too LittleRedSparke. I discovered that it is the state fish of Minnesota which is where they come from.

limitedperiodonly · 01/10/2015 11:42

more walleye is eaten in Minnesota than in any other jurisdiction of the United States. Both Garrison and Baudette, Minnesota, claim to be the "Walleye Capital of the World," each with a large statue of the fish.

What gripping lives they lead.

NinaSimoneful · 01/10/2015 12:38

It's a fish? And the guests were told what their dinner would've been - so they didn't have a choice of, even two, meals? I think $75.90 is a lot to pay for 2 wedding meals that you don't even get a choice in. That's about £50.

Not that I'm on the guests 'side' either. "I didn't know what to do, what was I supposed to do?" Eh, well, you could've let someone know you weren't coming or at least send some form of communicae afterwards; a call, a card a text, with an apology for just not showing up.

No-one's coming out of this one smelling of roses tbh.

Bogeyface · 01/10/2015 13:09

Lol. People even TRYING to justify the twattish behaviour or the 'happy' couple here.

I wasnt.

Merely pointing out that they were both twats. The guests for the no-show and the B&G for the bill. However the guests tipped the scales because they made the whole thing public by involving the press so they get 2 lots of twattishness to the B&G's one. S'just maths innit?! :o

RhodaBull · 01/10/2015 13:31

They are not in Little House on the Prairie Minnesota, they're in 21st century Minnesota, and there must have been some way to signal their non-attendance. Even if they didn't have the bride or groom's email/mobile, they could have rung the reception venue and told them.

Lweji · 01/10/2015 13:49
SoupDragon · 01/10/2015 16:54

The bill wasn't sent until a few weeks later, during which time the non-attendees couldn't be arsed to apologise for not showing up.

The wedding couple were twats for sending the bill
The non-attendees were twats (and rude) for not making their apologies.

SoniaShoe · 02/10/2015 16:21

the biggest shocker to me in all this is that its an actual news item on actual TV news! so middle america!

finding all the walleye education on here amusing too. i had to look that up..

edmontonkitty · 02/10/2015 16:52

I'm guessing neither of them cares about staying friends with the other so I'm wondering why they were invited to the wedding in the first place.

Munn83 · 02/10/2015 19:43

Guests don't show up to weddings all the time, it's the risk you take, if you can't afford it then don't do it. If my friend did this to me we wouldn't be friends and I certainly wouldn't pay the bill! One of my bridesmaids didn't show up, several of my guests never arrived, I would never have thought of billing anyone!

Munn83 · 02/10/2015 19:46

On top of that, they wouldn't have been billed if they had eaten it so what difference does it make whether it went in the bin or down the toilet!?

TartanTrousers · 02/10/2015 20:06

I think it's awful to RSVP to any event (let alone a wedding!) and then fail to attend without any communication.

I second an earlier poster; if you don't have phone numbers then surely even a Facebook message is better than nothing.

I would never bill anyone for failing to attend but I'd be tempted Grin

limitedperiodonly · 02/10/2015 20:43

A family of six didn't turn up to my wedding. I still bear a grudge 23 years on.

The excuse - I don't know, incipient bubonic plague in the toddler on the morning? - didn't stand up because their present didn't arrive. If a catastrophe had struck as you were leaving the house, your wedding present would still be on its way, wouldn't it?

They RSVPd to an invitation for six with no intention of attending. Cunts.

I wouldn't have dreamt of bringing it up with them, much less invoicing them, even though it was a lot of money.

In any case, it would have been for my mum to do that, seeing as she was footing the bill. They wouldn't have paid for anything, not even babysitting because we invited their kids. My mum had too much class too.

I cut them from our lives. She never liked me and the feeling was mutual.

He was DH's friend anyway and I'm glad I don't have her miserable face in my photos.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 03/10/2015 10:28

As someone who has lived in Minnesota for years previously, yes, walleye is a fish and actually a very good one. I hardly think this comment What gripping lives they lead. is necessary. Fishing is a big pastime/hobby in the MN, so common sense should tell you fish is a popular food. It's hardly any different in areas of the UK. Clearly twattish behaviour abounds in the UK as well as the US. Hmm

FWIW, the couple that didn't attend should have contacted them to let them know they couldn't attend, and the bride/groom should not have sent the bill.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore · 03/10/2015 10:30

the biggest shocker to me in all this is that its an actual news item on actual TV news! so middle america!

These kind of things make news in the UK as well. Remember this?

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30888160

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