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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Buyers have already given out our address!

68 replies

ChickadeeChick · 30/09/2015 20:42

Not sure if I am being unreasonable or not, would like opinions please! I'm a regular lurker and poster but recent NC.

We had a card today addressed to "Emma Smith" (not real name, obvs). We opened it to see if there was a return address inside as there was no return address on the envelope, thinking it was for the previous owner - also called Emma who ran away from mountains of debt and for whom we still receive a lot of post for. Maybe she got married, we thought. Anyway, turns out if was a New Home card for the partner of the person who is buying our house (her name doesn't appear on any of the paperwork). We've not even exchanged yet! Is this not a little presumptuous? Stuff could still fall through? I wouldn't dream of giving out my new address to anyone yet.

OP posts:

RaspberryOverload · 03/10/2015 03:52

The thing is, no-one knows if it is just a card, or who else has been told.

So yes, don't get worked up over a card, but just be aware that other stuff might happen, if the buyer/girlfriend got ahead of themselves.

RedBlu · 03/10/2015 08:14

We purchased our house after the people originally buying it discovered they couldn't get a mortgage

Unfortunately it seems they where massively ahead of themselves as when we got the keys and moved in, there was tons of letters for them, welcome packs, etc.

Had to send it all back with address Unknown. I did feel bad for them until we found out that they had been "visiting" the house after we exchanged on it and according to the EA, felt like we had stolen it from them. Not like it's an usual house, it's a new build! Weird people.

Grazia1984 · 03/10/2015 08:57

It would be reasonable after exchange of contracts in England (when it's definite) but even then most friends would wait until the move date before sending cards.

scarlets · 03/10/2015 09:16

Look on the bright side - they're clearly not planning to pull out!

Orangeisthenewbanana · 03/10/2015 09:23

It is a bit weird, especially as you haven't even exchanged yet! Just put "unknown at this address" on it and return to sender. At least until you get closer to completing.

Original poster

ChickadeeChick · 03/10/2015 21:42

I can't return to sender, there's no return address. I am shocked by some of the stories on here! I've got off lightly with one card by the looks of it! I will keep an eye out for anything else now though! Thanks

OP posts:

OhYeahMama · 03/10/2015 21:49

When we sold our late parents house, I made a 300 round trip to see it one last time and pick up a few things before the contracts were exchanged. The locks had been changed and my mum's armchair was in the front garden. The developers had gotten access and started work. I was heart broken - that was my last memory of my childhood home.

Fizrim · 03/10/2015 21:59

We went back to our old house (had moved elsewhere and rented it before selling) and sorted through the junk mail/free newspapers/etc on the day of completion. There were a couple of bills for one of the buyers and I was quite excited - it was really happening!

Conversely, I have also handed out an address early - before exchange - and the sale fell through. We were moving quite a distance and I was trying to get Speech Therapy sorted so gave them the new address (and therefore the area) as a warning that we would be moving. Good job they didn't do anything with the file!

VodkaJelly · 03/10/2015 22:05

When I bought a house I told my friends that we were exchanging on the Friday. On the Friday afternoon my solicitor rang to say that it had been delayed by a week. During that week 2 people sent me cards through the post. As this was pre internet and mobile phones were still bricks and they lived hundreds of miles away they didn't know the exchange hadn't happened.

So dont be too hard on the buyers girlfriend, her friends might have thought exchange had already happened.

BYOSnowman · 04/10/2015 09:03

But why would you send a card on exchange? When we moved last time we had 6 months between exchange and completion!!

LIZS · 04/10/2015 09:07

Pass it to your estate agent to handover with the keys or deal with if it falls through.

BalloonSlayer · 04/10/2015 09:18

So she's told someone they're buying a house at 10 Acacia Avenue, friend has got a bit ahead of themselves and sent a new home card - not actually seeing the problem?

It's a card addressed to the partner of the person who is buying the house, not the person buying the house. The person to whom the card is addressed is not on the paperwork - she is not even going to be a part owner of the house. So "they" are not buying a house anywhere. Which makes it possibly presumptuous of the sender on two levels, house sale not even at exchange yet, and person they've sent it to won't be the owner anyway.

Not really a "problem" I agree, but a nice bit of cheek which makes for a good, satisfying AIBU thread, in my view.

(I am shite at getting birthday cards sent on time, but I always make strenuous efforts to send new home cards to get there the day after they have moved in because of the wee thrill you get from seeing stuff addressed to you drop through your own new letter box. So, to me, sending them weeks early is v odd indeed.)

HorseyCool · 04/10/2015 09:42

I wonder if it's my MIL sending me a card, she took a note of the address off the details and asked if we're moving that weekend, we had just had offer accepted, I expect about 10 weeks or so before completing.

She is from a country where house buying is very quick

BakewellStart · 04/10/2015 09:52

Some of these stories are mad!!

I am a bit paranoid because this week I started shopping around for buildings insurance on the house we are buying!

I am worried loads of insurance bumph with our names on will land on the vendors door mat and am cringing a bit, despite ticking the no junk mail boxes and filling in our current address where it has been asked for.

Like some one up thread stated - insurance has to be arranged before exchange so there's not much you can do if the insurers insist on sending bumph when all you want is an online quote!

Lunastarfish · 04/10/2015 09:58

youcanbutimnot I rent and the incoming tenant did that to me! It was so annoying as I had no sky TV or Internet access for 5 days (I could live without TV but needed net for email as was still sorting out my new rental ( Ended up having a huge argument with sky as to why the incoming tenants subscription took priority over my existing subscription

aBrightNewDay · 04/10/2015 10:18

"Can't believe you opened post not addressed to you."

If it's in MY house, it gets opened by me!

orlakielyimnot · 04/10/2015 10:24

I did this once by accident. We were moving to a new area and I needed a local address for something I was doing so I gave what was going to be my new address. This was ages before the move, maybe 4 to 6 weeks. My details were then placed on a mailing list and when we moved in I arrived to post. I was so embarrassed but the people we bought from were v nice and it was clear to all concerned that it would take something like a death to stop the sale going forward. This could all be an embarrassing mistake on her part op!

LagunaBubbles · 04/10/2015 10:29

If you are in the UK then our house buying process is waaaay longer than that of Ireland, Scotland and loads of other EU places.

Last time I looked Scotland was still part of the UK!

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