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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think y7 daughter's tutor should know who she is?

41 replies

Iamthinking · 30/09/2015 13:21

Last night was "meet the tutor" night. An informal, milling around a hall affair. It was odd..because it was unstructured, and there were only the 4 class teachers there plus the head, to all the parents.

I said "Hi, I am A's mum". He looked at me blankly when I said who my daughter was, then started making shit up that made it patently clear he wasn't talking about her. I said "...really?" and he carried on flailing about. Eventually the penny dropped and he remembered one thing about her. He also remembered that she was quiet. I put him out of his misery and helped him change the subject then.
I had no respect for him. He only has 25 people in his class, how can he not remember them?

Am I being unusual to think he should know his class after 3 weeks, and think he was a total bullshitting knobhead? And especially if he is having a meet the parents night, shouldn't he swot up beforehand?

OP posts:

Brioche201 · 30/09/2015 18:50

Her orm tutor should certainly know her name He is supposed to be responsible for her wellbeing

Scarydinosaurs · 30/09/2015 18:59

Just be grateful nothing has happened that has made him have to learn her name.

You have no idea home many students he has had to learn that week- some timetables mean you end up teaching endless split classes and never really getting to know any class: this is not his fault.

And he tried to talk about her, but got the wrong student. Unfortunate, but at least he tried.

You're expecting far too much and sound like you have totally unrealistic idea of what a form tutor will know three weeks in.

feckitall · 30/09/2015 19:10

Going into my first day of A level History I walked past the teacher to sit down, he stopped me and asked for my name...I was he had been my form tutor for the whole previous year...
glad to know I made such an impression

chicaguapa · 30/09/2015 19:16

DH makes a conscious effort to learn 5 boys and 5 girls names in his new tutor group every week. Because otherwise it's quite easy to get to Christmas and still not know the names of the quiet girls.

noblegiraffe · 30/09/2015 19:16

I know the names of the naughty/chatty kids in my classes at this point of the year. Quiet girls tend to be the last names I learn.

I would struggle to recognise most of them out of the context of the classroom though.

Caboodle · 30/09/2015 19:35

Teacher here. Yanbu. Tutor was unprofessional.

ValancyJane · 30/09/2015 19:53

I think YAB a teeny bit U, but I can see why you're miffed! It probably took me slightly over a month to learn the names of all my Year 7 tutor group when I first got them, there are so many activities and admin to do in tutor time, it's easy to not have time to chat and get to know to the students. If you're bad with faces (I am!) it's particularly bad, totally throws me when kids get a new haircut! And bearing in mind he will probably teach around 300 kids, it's a lot of names to learn.

On the plus side, your daughter is clearly behaving herself as there are certainly names you learn quickly and NOT for a positive reason!

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 30/09/2015 20:21

I am teaching 186 students plus a form group this year. I'd never met any of them before the first day of term. I reckon I know two thirds of each class by name by now, and that's the very best I can do in three weeks.

Booyaka · 30/09/2015 20:31

What is your child's name? Because if it's Grace or Isabel or Ruby or something he might just have got mixed up.

Caboodle · 30/09/2015 20:53

I have class seating lists and pictures and have taken the time to learn the names. I feel it really is important. When I worked full time I could easily have approx 150/160 to learn. I have also never sat at a parent's meeting without class lists , pictures and parents' names. When meetings are early in the year I have made brief notes on the pupils to help me. This is part of the job.

miaowroar · 30/09/2015 21:03

Some people (teachers) are better at remembering names than others - I am not very good I have to admit so shoot me and yes I have pictures to prompt my memory.

In secondary I could teach anything up to 12 classes and saw my tutor group once a day for 15 minutes - I reckoned that three weeks in I could definitely have put a name to three-quarters of them but hand or heart, remember them all - maybe not.

Hulababy · 30/09/2015 21:08

Thee things are far easier for teaching staff of the child's image is in front of them, rather than just a name.

Hence why at parents evenings many teachers have a photo sheet in front of them and not just a register list.

Rosieposy4 · 30/09/2015 21:21

I have three hundred plus students every week, of whom more than half i have never taught before, though some of those i know by reputation or extra curricular stuff.
I learn them as fast as i can but i am also teaching 52/60 periods a fortnight, doing extra tasks relating to an additional responsibility and running extra curricular stuff and marking for about 3 -4 hours a night after school. Time for studying photo sheets is limited.
Well behaved quiet girls, with long brown hair do tend to blur a little. Be thankful though, the ones i know the names of first are not the sort of kid you want yours to be.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 30/09/2015 22:10

Yabu, it's only been a few weeks and she's not just one of 25, she's one of hundreds of pupils he teaches this year, probably thousands he's taught since he qualified. I'm awful with names and faces and the quiet ones are hardest to learn, especially if they have one or two close friends that they're always with, especially especially if they have similar sounding names

Chasingsquirrels · 30/09/2015 22:23

I would have said U, but given he appears to have the class group for around 2 hours every day (registration, maths - 1 hour?, morning & afternoon reading - 40 mins. Even if maths is only half an hour it's still over an hour a day, every day) I would think that yes he should know them.

Putting the name to the parent without the child present might be more difficult, and there might be more than 1 girl with the same name. Or he might have just had a mental block.

FithColumnist · 30/09/2015 22:33

YABU. Frankly, without the child in front of me, a name would be meaningless. I have a y7 tutor group who I also teach for 3-odd hours a fortnight. I am very bad with names (there are quiet kids I've taught two years now that I don't know the names of away from their seating plans, for example) and I now know about 90%, on account of having made an effort. But if some random woman came up to me and said "I'm Jack Whatever's mum", I would not have the faintest idea who you were talking about, on account of short blond/brown haired boys under 13 called Jack are ten a penny.

He, OTOH, was being U by trying to flannel it. I would just be honest and admit that I'm still learning names, can you describe the precious sprog you're referring to?

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