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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ring school and check dd is okay?

25 replies

composemail · 30/09/2015 10:28

Dd is nearly 13 and has some sen and this morning had gone to school in a complete hysterical meltdown screaming she hates school, is not going etc. I had to take her in a crying mess.
I tried to speak to her form teacher but she wasnt in yet.
Shes had a couple of incidents were a child has upset her and were she feels a teacher was unjust this week so was already not happy. She got half way to school and realised she didnt have her homework so came back for it as shes scared of getting in trouble, was panicking about being late, realised she had missed a bit of the colouring in the back ground and just absoloutely lost it.

I left a message with office for her form teacher to say she might be late and was coming in in a state and have emailed senco to ask for help.

OP posts:

Original poster

composemail · 30/09/2015 10:30

Pressed post too soon. Will they think im pathetic given shes secondary age.

OP posts:

KittyandTeal · 30/09/2015 10:33

Nope, give them a call. There might be eye rolling from a hard nosed sectary like ours but most will understand and your mind will be at ease.

Granted I'm a reception teacher but I regularly call home during the day to say an upset child is now absolutely fine. Worrying about your child, however old, can take up huge amount of mind space.

sproketmx · 30/09/2015 10:34

No. I'm sorry but why even don't yourself. I dont mean to be brash but she's your kid and you need to have more confidence in your ability to parent. If you think the school needs phoning then Fucking well phone them no matter if some tom dick or fanny thinks you're being unreasonable. You don't have to justify your actions to anyone

multivac · 30/09/2015 10:37

Here's a thought, sproketmx - perhaps the OP is worried, and is looking for reassurance and a chance to articulate her anxiety, rather than actual validation....

Call the school, OP; they want engaged parents who care how their children are doing, and they want to work with you to support your daughter.

Hope she's ok.

LittleMissIntrovert · 30/09/2015 10:38

Of course it's not unreasonable, if I worked in a school office and you rang, I wouldn't mind at all

BastardGoDarkly · 30/09/2015 10:39

Call them! That's not unreasonable at all.

BarbarianMum · 30/09/2015 10:41

TBH I would expect the school to call you if they need to. I would leave them to it and speak to the teacher (or email) at the end of the day.

Keeptrudging · 30/09/2015 10:42

I used to get calls from parents for the same reason (bad morning/SEN) and didn't mind, it was good to get the 'home' side of things and to generally be able to reassure them.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 30/09/2015 10:43

Call them. Who cares what anyone thinks xx

Original poster

composemail · 30/09/2015 10:45

Keeptrudging was that secondary age?

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Mrsjayy · 30/09/2015 10:46

Phone them tell them what happened and get the reassurance you need speak to her pastoral care teacher that sounds so stressful.
Not sure what swearing at the op achieves sproketmx

Bogburglar99 · 30/09/2015 10:48

Of course you should. DS is 9 with SEN and if I needed to I would call.

Two reasons -firstly you're her mum and you want to know she's okay. But also, to support her properly at school you need to know whether that sort of morning leads to a bad day at school or whether once she's in, she copes. For DS, it's often the transition that he can't cope with so while we have storms and high jinks before school, I know once he's in he is generally okay. But I needed that info from school!

Mrsjayy · 30/09/2015 10:48

Dd2 has sen she has left school now but the school were really open to parents phoning keeps communication open between home and school. You dont need to tell dd you phoned if you think it will upset her.

insanityscatching · 30/09/2015 10:48

No give them a ring. I've put a note in dd's (almost 13) liaison book today as she didn't want to go this morning. It's helpful for the TA if she gets a heads up from me so that she can help dd in the way she needs straight away instead of figuring it out herself as the day goes on.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 30/09/2015 10:51

It doesn't matter how old she is. She's still your baby. You won't rest anyway until you find out how she's doing. The poor little lamb.

Unreasonablebetty · 30/09/2015 10:53

call the school, you've got a whole day ahead of worrying if you don't.
I hope she's having a nice day. Sometimes they just need the time to settle down without something else cropping up to cause stress.
I really feel for her,
There are many days I wake up and by 9am we've had several small things happen that make me just think fuck it all. I can't be dealing with this shit anymore, and an hour later when I've had a moment to collect my thoughts and nothing else has happened I'm generally ok. And she will be too OP.

starlight2007 · 30/09/2015 10:55

Yep another call them... It will hopefully put your mind at rest and if she isn't they might be able to understand more what is going on

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/09/2015 10:57

bless her little heart. I understand that you might feel silly given her age but call- and maybe now is the time to get some support in place. Poor little bean, hope she is better now

herethereandeverywhere · 30/09/2015 10:58

Yes, call them. School should be pleased that you care so much you're checking in on her and also giving them a heads up about the start to the day as that might be having an impact on the rest of it. Sounds perfectly sensible to me.

KevinAndMe · 30/09/2015 10:59

Yes even for secondary school, DO RING THEM.
And try and have a word with the form teacher too. That's what theye are there for!

Original poster

composemail · 30/09/2015 10:59

Ive been fighting for years to get her support. Senco at secondary is thankfully helping.

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lilycabbagerocks · 30/09/2015 11:00

call the school definitely, they were simply assume quiet rightly you are a caring parent, also it may help them to support your dd during the day and look out for her. Perhaps a serious heart to heart is needed when your dd arrives home about what on earth is causing such a high level of anxiety. It could be big or small but you need to know.

Try and go out for a walk today and put yourself into a quiet and calm frame of mind. A good headspace.

Original poster

composemail · 30/09/2015 11:01

The office left a message on the email system saying she was coming in hysterical and didnt want to.

Ive emailed senco asking her to talk to her.

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Original poster

composemail · 30/09/2015 11:01

Already i mean

OP posts:

Original poster

composemail · 30/09/2015 12:39

Thanks everyone. I've spoken to school and senco is going to get her.

OP posts:

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