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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep these clothes that weren't charged for?

465 replies

MinecraftWonder · 29/09/2015 20:03

Yesterday I went shopping and picked up a new coat each for the dc (at Matalan if it's relevant)- total cost was £45.

I got to the till, went in my bag and didn't have my purse Angry Blush
So I apologised, said i'd nip home and the man on the till put them behind the counter for me.

Returned a couple of hours later and picked up some packs of pants by the till when I was queuing, which were a fiver. Handed them over and asked for the coats behind the till that had been put by for me (this was a woman). She put everything in a bag for me, I paid with my card and out I went.

Anyway, it's only tonight I've pulled them out of the bag along with the receipt - and I have a receipt for £5.05 (the pants and a 5p bag charge). The coats weren't charged for. I didn't even check the amount at the checkout, just stuck my card in and paid.

WWYD? I feel really guilty even though it wasn't my fault. I don't know if the second person who served me just made a mistake or thought maybe they were already paid for (but why would they be?!). They've not got security tags on so one of them must have taken them off.

So keep and look at it as good luck or be honest and go back and pay for them? Opinion is currently divided in my house!

OP posts:
Sapele · 30/09/2015 13:32

There is a good reason to pay. It might seem like there isn't, but it's a bit like driving on the right side of the road, or within the speed limit, even when there is no other traffic around. I mean yes you could get away with it but social convention is important.

It reinforces the expectation, the unwritten rules that people ought to tell the truth.

Your actions in not paying undermine this expectation. It has a small impact on social dynamics.

You can say oh, it is only two coats. It doesn't matter. But that's like saying oh, I'm only going to take one of these flowers from the park, I'm only going to drop one bit of litter.

If everyone did that, society would be quite unpleasant. Most people stick to the rules. Some don't, but it is the ones who do, who keep our society as generally decent as it is.

There are two camps, one working for social ease and comfort, the other working, in their own small, selfish, pathetic way, against it.

Every time you do something like this, you are stacking up points on the wrong side.

That's why it matters. Because people should expect that their mistakes are treated as mistakes, not as gifts to the canny shopper. People should expect to be told when they have made an error, and allowances should be made to put things right.

This isn't aimed at the OP as she is past caring clearly but to others who may be interested in the debate, in why some of us care so much about this.

I'd rather be part of the pro-society bunch than the anti-society, anti trust lobby any day. But that's a question of self respect I suppose and if you cannot respect yourself you probably have your own reasons behind that but it is pretty sad.

TamaraLamara · 30/09/2015 13:43

OP, you will have noticed that the shop assistant took the coats off the shelf and put them in a bag without scanning them, even if you didn't notice the total you paid.

I'm a little confused about this aspect too - it would have been obvious at the time that the cashier did not scan the coats. You were presumably standing right next to her/the till. Confused

TamaraLamara · 30/09/2015 13:46

Still, 12 pages in and no declared intention to pay, so I guess there's not much else to be said.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 30/09/2015 13:51

I would be ringing them and offering to pay simply because I wouldn't want to be that parent whose DC go round in coats nicked from Matalan Grin

Seriously though, it's obviously wrong to keep them without offering to pay, it's pretty simple really. Although I do think OP is on a bit of a wind up, now she's whipped everyone into a frenzy I am sure she will post along the lines of "well Ive rung and offered to pay but they declined so you all totally over reacted".

ConfusedInBath · 30/09/2015 13:55

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Hoppinggreen · 30/09/2015 14:05

Good post sapele

Gileswithachainsaw · 30/09/2015 14:09

omg why on earth wouldn't you pay?

I work in a shop and I always appreciate it when people inform me of a mistake and I in turn inform others.

how you couldn't have known I don't know. you knew how much it was going to cost roughly.

composemail · 30/09/2015 14:10

I had this situation in Primark. The lady serving who was assistant manager and not new botched up taking twice the amount she should have from dds card. I went to the till with dd and she messed up three times more each time refunding the wrong amount and me arguing she was wrong. A week after we left they refunded the whole sale back to dds card (54 pound) i rang them and they had noticed at tilling up and were very rude. I offered them card for payment and they said i needed to come in. I said journey would cost £8 and I would come if they refunded that and apologise to dd who has sen and social anxiety issues and had gone to the counter and paid as a confidence boosting exercise and who had been very worked up about it thinking she would get in trouble. They said keep the stuff don't worry.

spiderlight · 30/09/2015 14:22

I'd have to go back and pay. I went back to a stall at an outdoor event and queued again for ages on Saturday when I realised that I'd not been charged for a packet of 85p crisps, so there's no way I'd be able to live with myself if I knew I'd not paid for a more expensive item, especially if there was a possibility that one of the cashiers would get into trouble or be expected to pay for them herself. Regardless of the size of the business, it's just the right thing to do.

mileend2bermondsey · 30/09/2015 14:35

I'll give a similar experience I had in working in a restaurant a few years ago

Two tables asked for the bill at the same time, I accidentally gave the bills to the opposite tables. The table who recieved the wrong bill of course piped up saying they'd been overcharged. The people who recieved the smaller bill which was not theirs promptly paid and left. I only realised my error when the manager cashed up and we went through all the receipts. I had to pay the shortfall out of my own pocket which was £130.

But hey! free meal for the lucky guests, right OP?

JacquesHammer · 30/09/2015 14:47

This isn't now about paying or not is it. Its about finding 5 minutes to call and do the right thing?

The same happened to me in Asda. I ended up with a pair of jeans I hadn't paid for. I got home, discovered the issue and rang them up. They thanked me for my honesty and said for me to keep the jeans as it was their issue (all had been handed in, all had been scanned, but one had been wiped back off).

So yeah, I got "free" jeans. I also didn't have any guilt

diddl · 30/09/2015 15:23

I'd call and ask them what they wanted to happen.

I wouldn't be walking into the store with no receipt, that's for sure!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2015 15:50

In fairness to the OP, I can u dear stand how she might have been distracted at the till, and might not have noticed the assistant hadn't scanned the two coats. Accidents do happen - we are none of us perfect. But what matters is what the OP (or anyone else in a similar situation) does, once they notice the mistake.

I went back into sainsburys to pay for a Cadburys Fudge - it was such a tiny amount, but I did it anyway, because I knew my conscience would trouble me if I didn't - and my own peace of mind is worth so much more than a few pence.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2015 15:50

...understand - not u dear stand - Blush

CookieMonsterIsOnADiet · 30/09/2015 16:38

You can't not have realised at the till, the amount is on the screen where you enter your pin. They are stolen as you didn't pay for them and I guess after 12 pages don't I tend too.

ConfusedInBath · 30/09/2015 17:29

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2015 17:53

I know that, on occasion, I have paid without registering either what the assistant has said the total was, or the amount on the keypad - if I am distracted, or my head is a bit fuzzy with tiredness or other worries/thoughts.

ConfusedInBath · 30/09/2015 17:59

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2015 18:26

Of course I would,Confused - my conscience wouldn't let me do otherwise.

Bigoldsupermoon0 · 30/09/2015 18:33

So basically, if the OP gets told it's OK to keep the coats, she'll keep them. And if she gets told she's BU for keeping the coats, she'll keep them to spite the 'hysterical' people on here who think nicking shit, even from a big brand, is wrong.

Interesting how 'feeling guilty' manifests itself in some cases, eh? Hmm

kungfupannda · 30/09/2015 18:34

Such as (paraphrasing here) 'the cashier will get in trouble/be sacked' - she won't, they weren't scanned and won't be linked to her. 'The police/Matalan/MN will track you down, your photo will be passed around retails outlets, you'll be branded a shoplifter' - seriously, that really won't happen.

Um, I've seen it happen. More than once. I've sat in a police station with someone who really didn't think it would happen. I've dealt with one half of a customer-cashier shoplifting team several times I've watched CCTV where the operator has zoomed in on specific transactions on an individual till, and then produced stills of the customer. If the staff member is investigated then they could well decide to report the matter to the police who would then look into whether they can identify the customer from CCTV/card details. It's really not that hard to do.

The problem is that you're looking at this from the point of view of someone who didn't realise that a mistake had been made at the time you left the shop and assuming that every aspect of your account would be accepted without question. The 'dishonest appropriation' thing is something I've seen argued several times. I've seen it fail. I may have seen it succeed but I can't, off the top of my head, remember that happening. The difficulty is that once you've been charged and you have to plead not guilty in court and go for a trial, you're on the back foot. You can argue the no dishonesty thing, but there are no guarantees that you will be believed. Because the court will have to weigh everything up and decide whether they accept your account. And they'll be looking at your entire account - including the part where you accept that you did realise later, but decided not to return the items. They'll have to decide whether you behaved dishonestly at one point in the situation, while having before them evidence of another point when you behaved dishonestly.

On balance, do I think there is a high risk of you being drawn into a criminal investigation? No, probably not. But I think that risk does exist. It does happen. It's not just people's imaginations running away with them. And I think there is a slightly higher risk that a staff member could come under scrutiny over this.

kungfupannda · 30/09/2015 18:35

Also, it's dishonest. In the more general sense, even if you don't accept that it's dishonest in the legal sense.

MinecraftWonder · 30/09/2015 19:09

Sorry KungFu, but you just seem to be scaremongering tbh which isn't really having any effect on me.

Of course suspected cashier/customer shoplifting teams will be investigated- with the onus on the police to prove that a relationship/agreement existed between them. Which would/could never be proven here because I've never clapped eyes on the girl before.

Theoretically, if I kept the coats, and was tracked down, what could be proven? That Matalan fucked up and handed over stock without charging the customer. They'd have to prove that I had realised the error after leaving - which is impossible and easy to deny.

I've doubted myself and thought about the situation on a moral level - but like I said earlier, the risk of sucessful legal action is really no concern to me because it is so vanishingly unlikely. I'd just as soon worry about being struck by lightening tbh.

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 30/09/2015 19:15

OP, you are blatantly unrepentant about this there's probably not much point in continuing but anyway....

I can virtually guarantee, someone at Matalan will have seen this thread today. If you'd kept quiet, that wouldn't have happened.

Instead you've plastered on the Internet and, whilst they won't take action against you, ie try and get you to pay for the items, it is certainly not 'vanishingly unlikely ' that they know exactly who you are.

ConfusedInBath · 30/09/2015 19:21

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