To never cook for my parents again (lighthearted)

[CheesyNachos]

Dparents have come to stay for a few days. Yesterday I cooked Nigella's Coq au Riesling, with mashed potatoes, green beans. It was (If I say so myself) delicious.

What did they do? They SMOTHERED (smothered I say!) it with Sweet Chilli Sauce.

Seriously! DFather claims it was 'fusion' cooking.

WIBU to only cook pot noodles from now on?

Ketchup on anything is just plain wrong. I can't stand the stuff - the smell makes me ill. I have actually never tasted the stuff, as I can't get past the stench!

Salad cream? On a bacon sandwich? Oh what fresh hell is this?

Tucktalking (lighthearted)

I'm sure my youngest child thinks food is just there to help you get ketchup into your mouth. I keep home he'll grow out of it.

I suggest you set fire to the bottle, do it safely and with a bit of flair so you can incorporate it into the meal. Bingo problem solved.

Much less rude than saying "my cooking is either shit or your not grown up enough to place anything in your mouth that is not coated processed crap, which is it?"

My parents do the autocondimenting thing too. No matter what it is, on goes the salt and pepper. My mum just seems to love tonnes of salt with her food, whilst at the same time making little digs about diet and health. I hated boiled eggs as a child as my mum would open mine for me and then tip salt straight from the big plastic dispenser right into it. I couldn't taste the egg, only salt. Yeuch. She likes eating radish by dipping them in salt, the same with spring onions.
I put a little bit of salt in when I cook, but not afterwards, it's salty enough.
DH has a pretty strict list of food and their condiments. Sausages and mustard, beef and horseradish, bacon and brown sauce. As far as I'm concerned all this means is that you can't then taste the actual food as my mouth is blasted by the hideous condiment. I don't get why people put vinegar on fish and chips, if I do that all I can taste is vinegar and nothing else, rendering my meal pretty much inedible.
Having said that, at univeristy I discovered I am a supertaster so anything bitter or sour I seem to taste far stronger than anyone else.
And don't get me started on wasabi. You have a nice plate of delicate fishy flavours - yum - but you're supposed to have it alongside this vile green stuff that's no good for anything except removing all the mucus from my nose. I pass mine off to dh.

Erm FelixFelix where did your DH get the mini siracha keyring bottle? Not that I want one, oh no, definitely not.

I have broken intoo a cold sweat, madness. Cream, white wine with added Sweet chilli sauce?! Your dear parents are very very unreasonable.

I would have reached for the black pepper and dijon without tasting it first