DF died a long time ago when DM was relatively young. So, she's been a widow a long time. DM likes to go to church (every day at least once).
I live a long way away. I have had a difficult relationship with her for most of my life. I tried going NC with her at one point but I couldn't forget her. Recently (i.e. the last few years), things have got better. We speak on the phone frequently and see each other for visits a couple of times a year.
The last couple of times that I spoke to her, she was quite cold with me and was saying rude provocative things. I could see that she was annoyed with me for something or other and experience has taught me to not ask her to tell me, as she is spiteful when in a mood. So, i pretend not to notice.
She hasn't called me for weeks since. Usually she'd be demanding that i speak to her by phone for at least 3 hours each week. So, she's obviously in a really bad mood with me this time.
So, maybe she's just not that into me right now. I don't like it but its not a problem to cope with and TBH I'd rather not hear from her than have her making digs at me.
However, something else is nagging at the back of my mind. These last few years, she's been getting in with a group of people at church. I don't know who they are, and I never really gave them any thought until recently. I just knew that she had new friends.
Their appearance in her life has coincided with DM's near obsession about her will. She likes to think out loud to me about how maybe she shouldn't leave her money to her children. Personally, i think she's deluded about how much she will have left by the time she dies, so I won't let her bait me into replying.
Also, DM has got even worse about showing tolerance to people who don't support her religion. I heard a voicemail from one of her friends asking how she'd coped attending a family humanist funeral. Not the ordeal of saying goodbye (she didn't care about the person anyway) but the horror of the being present for the humanist bit.
Then a few months ago, she told me that one of the friends had suggested she join a special organisation within the church. They do special retreats and once you join, you may not leave. The friend was advising mum to think carefully because after joining you had to be really devout. I remember thinking that this was weird, as mum is about as devout as you can get anyway, and also thinking that I really don't like the sound of those friends.
Anyway, now DM appears to have dropped me, after years of being unreasonable demanding of my attention. Please tell me that this is just another chapter in her abusive behaviour to me and the friend-church cult sounding thing is just my imagination going wild.