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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To talk to them, or will they think I'm odd?

36 replies

Welshmaenad · 28/09/2015 20:39

We live in a small quiet street in a rural village I am the resident crazy cat lady. I currently have four if my own but we have a number of drop ins that use my house as a hostel for disenfranchised felines. This is fine with me.

We've recently acquired a new visitor, who's stays seem to be getting longer and more frequent. He's a gorgeous little thing, looks part Bengal, probably only 8-9 months old and has palled up with my terminally stupid hand-reared boy.

For ages we weren't sure who he belonged to, he has sported a succession of attractive collars that he promptly ditches, but he's clearly a loved pet. The other day my husband spotted him in the window of the one house on the street who's occupants we don't really know.

I kind of want to go and say hi and explain that if they think their cat us missing, he's probably in my house. We aren't encouraging him to stay, but I frequently come home from a day out and find him cosied up on my sofa so he's making himself at home regardless, and if it was my cat id appreciate knowing where he'd disappeared to and that he was somewhere where people would be kind to him but weren't trying to steal him.

However my husband thinks I'm a bloody nutter and that if they let him out, they take their chances that he'll end up in other people's houses or off on a jolly. AIBU or U.S. Dh right and I've descended into madness?

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 29/09/2015 01:12

How is Op to prevent this particular cat from entering her home, when she has cats of her own? Yes, I know you can buy chip-operated catflaps, but that seems a great expense for Op just in case the owners of this particular cat don't like it eating elsewhere.

MoonSandwich · 29/09/2015 01:19

it dies sound like the OP is making the cat very welcome! She could try shoo'ing the cat out the house and generally not being welcoming to it.
It depends what the owners want but if I were the owners would ask you to make the cat feel unwelcome as I would want the cat to want to be at its own home.

mmmuffins · 29/09/2015 01:27

Err you just shoo them away, repeatedly and with increasing gusto if necessary. I have two cats, and have been able to dissuade the neighbouring cats from entering my home just fine.

HirplesWithHaggis · 29/09/2015 01:28

How does she shoo the cat out when she's not at home?

Speaking to the putative owners is by far the best policy - no, I'm not trying to steal your cat, but if you're worried it's gone missing, check here first.

Italiangreyhound · 29/09/2015 01:38

I would definitely go and tell them.

If our cat were visiting another home I would expect the owners to turf him out (as I would for another cat). As a child we returned a snowy white cat up the road all the time but as an adult it had never occurred to me that cats actually went and visited other homes.

I wonder where my darling boy goes when I am at work!

If he is no trouble and you are happy you can convey that but just be prepared they may not be so happy and may be jealous cat owner like me! Grin

ChristineDePisan · 29/09/2015 01:42

I would go and tell them

TheHouseOnTheLane · 29/09/2015 02:20

My beautiful Siamese boy tarted about the neighbourhood and brought much joy to others. He wanted to....who am I to stop him?

KP86 · 30/09/2015 09:39

If the owner is worried about the cat visiting other people or being 'enticed' to move homes, then THEY need to be the ones to do something about it - either lock the cat inside or create an outdoor run if they have a garden. It is not up to the OP, who sounds lovely, to change HER life to suit someone else's pet or feed their insecurities.

Theycallmemellowjello · 30/09/2015 09:48

Eh? Sorry, but it's not ok for you to let the cat into your house. Or feed it etc. Of course you should tell the owners where their lost cat is (!). You should also stop contributing to the fact that it is 'lost'!

britnay · 30/09/2015 09:48

My old boy used to travel up and down the road visiting people. He wasn't phased by other cats or dogs, he just made himself comfortable wherever he fancied, little bugger! I know that he was well loved as after he died we had lots of people (who I didn't even know!) say how much they missed his visits :)

Welshmaenad · 30/09/2015 15:25

Eh?

I don't 'let it in'. It lets itself in, via the same route my cats use for ingress and egress. If I close that, my own cats can't get in and out of their own house.

OP posts:
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