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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To accept this fb friend request

18 replies

SourceofInformation · 27/09/2015 20:16

It's an old boyfriend. Never a good thing ime, fb seems to cause a lot of trouble where old flames are concerned.

He's from sixth form, more than 30 years ago (how is that possible?!) We spent 2 years with everyone knowing we fancied each other but both being too shy to do anything about it

OP posts:

bellybuttonfluffy · 27/09/2015 20:18

It's facebook.

Accept if you want. Decline if you don't.

MelanieCheeks · 27/09/2015 20:18

Meh, you could accept it, see how it goes, if it annoys you then unfriend or block.

Original poster

SourceofInformation · 27/09/2015 20:21

Oops...

Then when we did get together it fizzled out after a few weeks because we bored each other to tears. He was my first great love, I was completely infatuated, until it became real.

Anyway, I last saw him about 15 years ago when I bumped into him when I was out with the pram and he was about to get married, then out of the blue today, I have a friend request.

Judging from the numerous photos he post of his kids, his wife is either very camera shy or they re no longer together.

Accept for curiosity's sake or ignore?

OP posts:

SalemSaberhagen · 27/09/2015 20:22

Are you both single now?

mudandmayhem01 · 27/09/2015 20:22

I got one the other day, declined it without a second thought.

EatShitDerek · 27/09/2015 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wishful80smontage · 27/09/2015 20:23

Yes I would FB friends doesn't mean anything really- if he starts pm you constantly then that's anothe matter

Wishful80smontage · 27/09/2015 20:23

Ha what Derek said :)

AwfulBeryl · 27/09/2015 20:26

Are you single ?
Not that it makes that much difference tbh, it was over 30 years ago. My dp has his school / clollege girlfriends on fb and it doesn't bother me.
Accept accept accept.

ilovesooty · 27/09/2015 20:26

Absolutely what Derek said.

StillFrankie · 27/09/2015 20:28

accept if you are both single and see what happens.

If he isn't single, ignore.

Cel982 · 27/09/2015 20:30

I'm FB friends with all my old boyfriends, I don't see why you wouldn't be unless there was great animosity there.

Oysterbabe · 27/09/2015 20:33

Do you have any interest in meeting with him?

I'd be careful. I started chatting to an old boyfriend I hadn't seen since I was 18 on FB and it was fine at first but then he started sending me really inappropriate messages, stalking me online and sending messages to my friends. I ended up having to call the police and send a message to the guys girlfriend.

VulcanWoman · 27/09/2015 20:33

If you are both single and you fancy him, then yes, if not ignore, it will only encourage him/lead him on/give him hope.

lemonade30 · 27/09/2015 20:43

I accepted an old boy friend. We had never dated and I hadn't seen him in thirteen years or so.
He was apparently engaged and u was pregnant with my fourth child and visibly so, from my FB profile. So I thought, no harm.

He pmd me saying how he'd like to meet up one day; I answered that with three children and one on the way it wasn't likely as I was so busy. He replied that he'd always liked me. I countered that whilst very flattering to hear that I saw that he was engaged and I was obviously in a LTR with children.
Unbelievably he then told me that his fiancé needn't know and that he liked 'the pregnant type'

I bid him goodbye and removed myself from FB. Too many bloody cranks.
Can't be dealing with that shite.

This man hasn't offered his cock for your perusal and enjoyment but that doesn't mean he won't. Accept his request but watch out for the pms.

CountryLovingGirl · 27/09/2015 20:55

He must still think of you to have searched for you on FB. It's a difficult one. He could've split from his wife and is looking back to his past. He could, genuinely, have searched you out as a friend.

I say accept and see how it goes...

Jux · 27/09/2015 21:24

It could just be idle curiosity. I look up people from my past on fb every so often. I don't fancy them or want toget back together or anything like that, I'm just bored and they've popped into my head. I don't want to meet up, or even exchange messages on fb with them.

Whathaveilost · 27/09/2015 22:23

I accepted a FB request from my ex boyfriend friend from 6th form about 4 years ago. 6th form was about 35 years ago!
He now lives aboad and has a wife and teenage daughter. He has a great life and it is clear that he adores his family.
He posts mad stuff, family parties and football stuff. I like his posts and it has never hit on me or anything.

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