to tell my NDN she's a fish murderer?!

[Binglet]

Went away on holiday, and asked our NDNs daughter (18) if she wouldn't mind feeding our tropical fish whilst we were away. We have her a key, showed her where the food was kept and told her to put one pinch of food in every day, but not to worry if she forgot a day.

Got a message Wednesday saying they were all fine. Messaged again this morning, two are apparently floating. One of them was looking old and we thought we may loose him this week, and we had warned her. But the other was our beautiful rainbow shark, who was in excellent health and who we have had for over 2 1/2 years. We thought it may be due to old age and I messaged and told her not to worry.

Walked back into a house stinking of ammonia, a green tank (which was pristine when we left), dead plants and two dead fish. Obvious over feeding as there was food everywhere.

WIBU to tell her later when she brings back the key that it was over feeding. DP wants to just say that it was a filter problem but I am fuming. AIBU to think that if a beautiful tank starts going green and the plants die, that you message the owners and at least tell them so they can tell you what to do!!

How long were you away for? And did you show her how big a pinch is? Because there is a world of difference between the couple of flakes that is a pinch for a tank of tropical fish, and a pinch used in cooking for example. Either way, it sounds like she was trying to do you a favour and wasn't maliciously sabotaging your tank, so I wouldn't come down too hard on her, but perhaps ensure that you don't leave her in charge again.

Its your fault though. You left a teen with no knowledge of the care they needed in charge.
Next time if you care so much get some one in who knows what they are doing.

How long were you away????
Ive never known a fish tank get into the condition you described in a couple of weeks unless it was overstocked for the size of the tank.
Sorry to hear about your fish

I think you shouldn't ask someone who's never looked after fish before to look after valuable tropical fish.

Well she was doing you a favour and she likely hasn't killed them on purpose.
She probably feels bad enough as it is, so I wouldn't be going mad at her no.

We showed her what a pinch was. And she's been messaging me all week. We were away for 7 days.

Tank isn't overstocked, in fact we are way under stocked at the moment.

We have no idea how it's got in such a state, tank has been established for over 3 years, no problems at all. I think we will probably tell her there's a problem with the tank, I shouldn't have left her to do it. I wouldn't have minded too much if it was any other fish. We may have been bit too attached to this one.

Not much help now, but could you just use a feeding block next time you go away?

We are as stumped at you ego. I've never know it happen either. But tank was well established and waters tested regularly.

We toyed with the idea of a feeding block but haven't used them before as we haven't been away for longer than two nights before.

DP has declared I ABU and will tell her it was our filter.

If its gone green in seven days I would think that it probably was a filter problem. I'm not saying there wasn't over feeding going on but for a tank to go green in 7 days I have only ever seen in our unfiltered fry tank which gets light from a south facing window in the summer.

And I have 4 tanks at the mo

I also think it could actually be a filter issue and not an over feeding issue. I over fed our fish for a week whilst my DH was away (I hadn't realised my pinch was bigger than it needed to be) and nothing like that had happened.

Our tank gets awfully green and manky when the filter in the pump needs changing.

Personally, I wouldn't bother mentioning anything more to her. Just don't get someone else to feed the fish whilst you're away unless they're 'in to' fish as well.