Children referring to "ladies" (lighthearted - I say this wearily, just in case)

[ChampagneTastes]

My 3yr old DS has started pointing at me and saying "you're a LAAADIE" in the manner of Little Britain. Apart from find Little Britain mildly distasteful I don't like it and I have found myself correcting him, telling him that no, I'm a woman. He does not accept this.

My DH says he thinks "lady" is the polite way for a 3 yr old to refer to a female older person.

AIBU to dislike it and want him to say "woman" instead?

My OH is like this. He calls women either girls- if they are young women, or ladies. He is very old fashioned and I tease him about his inability to say "woman"

I don't like being called lady (usually as a collective pronoun ladies) by any adult in any circumstance. However, I do not mind at all when a child does, I wonder why.

She has her moments .

It's the CharlieandLola Effect, SilverBirchWithout. It's delightfully retro and posh.

"Have you ever heard of a 'dinner gentleman' Bunbaker?"

How about lunchtime supervisor instead? That should cover everything.

Silver I suspect it's because when an adult uses the word 'lady' it can sometimes sound patronising.

I've been thinking about this recently. I'm now much more sanguine and relaxed about being able to use both words in slightly different contexts. I was brought up with my DM abhorring the word 'lady' often to the complete mystification of her and my peers. I understand all the reasons and to this day I would never refer to myself as a 'lady'. The thing is since having children I have come to realise it does have a place that 'woman' can't replace. No way would I say to a child 'say thank you to the nice woman' in the presence of a kindly female stranger - it would always be 'say thank you to the nice lady'.

I'd never strive to be 'ladylike' but I would say 'hello ladies' to a group of female friends.

Indeed, Bunbaker. Ever heard a six-year-old discuss the 'lunchtime supervisors' at school?

Slightly of piste but what about madam v sir?

I find being addressed as madam offensive no matter the circumstance ( although I don't react if it is meant respectively) but I will use sir on occasion as a term of respect. (Years of call centre work may be influencing my thought process)

Oh not madam. It sounds so obsequious. Makes me bristle.

If a child is running about in the street or the supermarket and nearly runs into you, don't you think it sounds a bit rude if its parent says "Mind the woman" compared to "Mind the lady"?

More thoughts, it is a feminist issue, terms that identify a female are interpreted as patronising, as they have been used in that way against us. Generally men don't take offence at any of their titles (man, gent, sir) etc, as they have not been used by others to degrade them.

Sorry drifting from the lighthearted now

Germaine Greer who was working as Professor of English at a top University at the time, has said that "lady" is the most vulgar word in the English language.

I always say to my DC that they should thank the person rather than man/ woman/ girl. I actually can't think of any of my friends who would use or like to be referred to as "lady". Being " ladylike " was dull and limiting when I was a kid, and the person charging you with it was invariably gender policing.

Hmm. I always try to use woman rather than lady or girl.

BUT I agree there are contexts where using woman just sounds rude. So I do say things to the dc like "let the lady past" And I'd never be offended by being referred to as a lady in that context either.

Gruntfuttock Erm no. Should I?

I don't give two hoots whether a child refers to me as a lady or as a woman. As long as they're polite.

Do you think it's rude if a parent says 'mind the man' if a child nearly runs into a male stranger in a supermarket?

So you say 'Jimmy thank the person'? or you mean you refer to them by name 'Jimmy thank Great Aunt Edna'?

'Person' would be strange.

I personally hate and cringe at being referred to as a 'lady' - find it patronising and twee. But can see that some women might prefer it and might therefore ask my grandson to apologise to a 'lady' in the supermarket, etc if appropriate.

We do say 'thank the person' or 'this person is going to bring our food' or 'that person is a bus driver' etc. It's a conscious choice to name personhood before gender and now we're used to it, everyone else seems obsessed with sexing people at every possible opportunity.

I'm not into 'thank the person'. It sounds a bit......dismissive.

But can see that some women might prefer it

See that's interesting. All ladies are women; but not all women are ladies...

Try 'thank this person' Mitzy. For the sisterhood

Mine use wifey most of the time. Like tonight where did u get that biscuit? From the old wifey crossing the road (the lollypop lady) I think it depends what's local to u

I agree that lady seems politer; I would prefer the mother/father/minder of the child about to run into me to say, 'don't bump into that lady' rather than 'don't bump into that woman'.

Interesting that 'Madam' has somehow become an insult in English - I'm in France and cannot imagine anyone objecting to people saying 'bonjour Madame' or 'excusez-moi Madame', etc. It's the polite and usual way to address someone whose name the speaker doesn't know.

In the 'lighthearted spirit of the thread, would those who don't like 'Madam' prefer 'oi you'?