To have got upset about this

[lastqueenofscotland]

To frame this - my bmi is 20 so I'm fairly slim.

I went to an event with dp and there was a really nice photo of us there, loads if people said how lovely we looked etc. Was at my (overweight!!) mums yesterday and showed her, the only thing she had to say was "oh didn't bother with Spanx then?" I'm critical of myself and I can't see a bulge.
I've had food issues since I was 15 and got really upset and she thinks I was being daft and it was constructive critism.

Aibu to think it was a horrible bitchy thing to say!

Well it wasn't constructive and if you're happy with the photo it must be OK.

Thanks all. Feel like I've had a collective hug! Just felt very malicious.

It might be time to draw a line. Something like, 'After years of insecurity caused by the way you treated my weight gain when I was a young teenager, I'm actually happy with my body and have a healthy BMI so I really don't need you policing it for me. Perhaps you should focus all that energy on looking after your own health.'

Well bloody hell that sounds rubbish.

I happen to be a hugely confident person when it comes to most people (my family are another matter) and what I've found, as a profoundly sarcastic person who has taken to using it as a defense mechanism is this:

1. Purchase ping pong bats
2. Write on bat 1 - SSSSSSHhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
3. Write on reverse of bat 1 - No really. SSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH
4. Write on bat 2 - SEE BAT 1
5. Write on reverse of bat 2 - IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I HAVE LEFT THE CONVERSATION BECAUSE YOU ARE INSUFFERABLE.

Wave bats as required. It works because they fit in most handbags. Failing that, twat the person insulting you, hard, about the head, until they decide to stay in their lane.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Repeat.

Maybe write something down honestly about how it made you feel and tell her you don't want ANY 'constructive criticism' about your appearance from now on.
Nobody is going to appreciate that comment, what on earth was going through her head?! I'm sure you looked lovely! Everyone else said so!

thanks all you're right i need to confront her.... maybe ill wear the dress ro do it in

You know the more fabulous you look, the more she will comment negatively.

Reverse psychology is needed.

You just keep on being wonderful and take the comments as an expression of her insecurity. The more horrible she is, the more sensational you look.