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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sorry, a Facebook selling one.

53 replies

footphobic · 24/09/2015 22:14

More of a WWYD I think. So Dd is getting rid of a few unwanted bits and pieces ahead of her move to uni. Things sell quite well on our (small) town FB selling page so we popped them on there.

A woman quickly said she wanted an item. We agreed the sale and I went on her profile to pm our address for collection.

Near the top of her recent posts is a Brtain First propaganda post, posted/shared by her. One of the usual 'our pensioners get pennies and illegal immigrants/asylum seekers live in mansions and bleed us dry' ones.

DH and other older dcs including dd were in the room so I commented and we had a bit of a discussion about it. DH felt that maybe they were either ignorant or naive about BF and would've been inclined to ignore it and sell it to her anyway. Dd said she would rather give stuff away then sell it to someone who posted such vile crap.

I agree with dd. I'm quite happy to renege on the sale, the item will obviously stay on there for sale so I won't be using an excuse. Should I just say I can't sell to her after all which I assume will prompt the question why which I will then have to field. Or should I say it straight, by pm if not on the actual post, so either of these would be where I might be BU. Or, the possibility that I'm over-reacting and her personal views shouldn't be relevant in this situation, though dd won't sell it to her now anyway.

I just wanted to gauge a broader range of opinion really (I'm not a hardened AIBU user so please be gentle).

OP posts:
SnookyWookyWooWoo · 24/09/2015 23:07

just kidding Wink

Original poster
footphobic · 24/09/2015 23:09

To a pp who said it was a bad example to set my dd, I honestly was feeling the opposite, and pleased that she made her own decision. Am I really that off the mark?

OP posts:
Original poster
footphobic · 24/09/2015 23:20

I see different types of BF poster, the real racists, then some that are naive or ignorant of the real views if BF, like an aunt of mine in her 70's who shares the 'keep Britain great' type, and those who really don't class their comments as racist, these last two groups would say they are just being 'patriotic'. Either way, I find it too offensive to take with a pinch of salt.

OP posts:
Cerseirys · 24/09/2015 23:24

If you don't think what Britain First posts is racist then you may need to check the definition of racism...

Up to you what you choose to do with the clothes though OP!

Original poster
footphobic · 24/09/2015 23:39

Was that to a pp Cerseirys? Obviously I think what BF posts is racist and vile as I have made clear.

Thanks for the responses, feel better knowing I'm not completely on my own.

OP posts:
Cerseirys · 24/09/2015 23:41

Sorry yes, my first comment wasn't to you OP, it was to the commenter just above you.

Cerseirys · 24/09/2015 23:45

I'm also starting to be a bit concerned by the amount of MN posters dismissing racism as "a different opinion" of late, but that it probably a discussion for another thread!

SavoyCabbage · 24/09/2015 23:51

Car seat buyer was all fine and I was just showing her how it worked on the drive when dd came outside and went on her bike or whatever and the woman did some incredulous looking back and fourth and then she just stormed off muttering and swearing. I did toss an insult back again. Fear not.

SnookyWookyWooWoo · 24/09/2015 23:59

Yes to be fair I just looked them up (bf)...Not at all who I was thinking of sorry op.

They seem more of a sort of political movement? I think the Facebook group I've seen was more just 'pride in our soldiers' and 'pride in our traditions'.

Anyway your call of course...still don't think id refuse to sell to her but it's your dds stuff and entirely up to her what she does. Maybe freecycle or freegle the stuff instead as a pp has said?

MillionToOneChances · 25/09/2015 00:16

Britain First trick people into liking their page with 'pride in our country' and 'click if you think soldiers are heros' posts, but they're really nasty and often get asked by military groups to stop using their pictures to lure people in.

Savoy, that's horrid :( Bigots like that must love Facebook groups as it means they can profile people (or try to) to see whether they meet their aryan standards.

OP, I wouldn't invite someone with those views to my home under any circumstances.

BackforGood · 25/09/2015 00:20

I think if you've advertised something, and agreed a sale, you just hand the goods over and take the money. As you have already said, you wouldn't have a clue about someone's opinions if you sold at a car boot / table top sale or if you sold it on e-bay.
I challenge people reposting the Britain First posts, and have deleted some people I was formerly FB friends with who still posted, but I do acknowledge there's some very clever "marketing" about the whole BF thing, and a lot of people get dragged in a bit without thinking about it, because it will often be a picture of a poppy and a suggestion we remember soldiers that have died or something. A lot of people don't realise the racism that is associated with the group, and repost 'without thinking' - more in ignorance than hatred.
However, I wouldn't not sell an item to someone just because they'd posted something of BF's.

ReginaBlitz · 25/09/2015 00:38

Why be nosey on someone's profile?! All you have to do is click on message, now you have snooped and gone a bit over the top in my eyes. Money is money if you were giving it away free fair enough be picky.

bessiebumptious2 · 25/09/2015 01:33

OP, never, ever, ever consider running your own business.

If we refused to do business with people that have opposing views because we have the advantage of an insight to their opinions then the country would grind to a halt! AIBU is a good example of what can go horribly wrong!

londonrach · 25/09/2015 07:31

Yabu. This is a free country and people can believe what they want. Yes you may not agree with her but not selling something to someone because eg they believe the world is flat not round is very judgemental. I think its rude to go back on a sale you agreed to. why did you look at her profile anyway. You would be able to run your own business or work for nhs if you judges people like this. You have to treat everyone equal no matter what they believe and even if you completely disagree with them.

SansaryaAgain · 25/09/2015 07:45

But the point is OP isn't running her own business or working for the NHS here so she can do what she likes, and if she doesn't want to sell to this woman then it's up to her. And I'm getting quite fed up with racism being excused as free thinking/ people believing what they want/ differences of opinion.

As an aside, I don't know why but Facebook selling pages do seem to attract these types Hmm

CuttedUpPear · 25/09/2015 07:46

If we refused to do business with people that have opposing views because we have the advantage of an insight to their opinions then the country would grind to a halt

Erm...yes...ever heard of South Africa?

The UK and many other European countries stopped buying South African goods in order to express their disapproval of South African political beliefs, namely apartheid.

Also, see Nestle - many people have been avoiding buying Nestle goods for at least the last 20 years to put pressure on the company to stop pushing formula in developing countries without access to clean water.

It's called boycotting, and it's legitimate practice to refuse to do business with companies or individuals whose politics you are at odds with. That's the way we change the world for the better, people.

OP, the only way you are U is in that you have failed to give us any hilarious handmade glittery shit in your FB selling thread. It's what we all hope for.

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 25/09/2015 08:23

Seems a bit silly to me, you either want to sell the item or you don't.

If you'd put it on Ebay you'd have sold it to the winner without worrying about their politics, why should this be any different.

You seem to be basing it around one BF post, that doesn't mean she's a raving racist - , from your description of it it means she doesn't want uncontrolled immigration potentially leading to cuts elsewhere in the social care budget.....

Our local council has said it won't be taking any refugees as there are local homeless people to house first - doesn't make them a racist council....

IKnowIAmButWhatAreYou · 25/09/2015 08:25

Loving the comparison of the OP refusing to sell tat to someone gullible to the ending of apartheid!!! Grin

ghostyslovesheep · 25/09/2015 08:29

with selling - I'd take the money and donate it to a refugee service - then PM her and thank her for her donation

On our local free to collect page I'll admit to checking profiles before giving stuff away - any BF bullshit and they don't get chosen

hibbleddible · 25/09/2015 08:53

Yabu as you have agreed to sell on the fb group, and should therefore follow their t&c s. This is usually selling to the first interested party. Her political beliefs are irrelevant.

BoredAdminGirl · 25/09/2015 10:38

What if the OP was of ethnic origin?

bessiebumptious2 · 25/09/2015 11:49

What if the OP was of ethnic origin? then surely problem solved, because the buyer wouldn't want the item based upon her beliefs!! Lots of assumptions here, really.

myotherusernameisbetter · 25/09/2015 11:56

I know where you are coming from but I think I would still sell it - especially if I was from an ethnic background or could get someone that didn't meet her "british" standard to arrange the pick up/drop off. But then that's just me :)

I feel different if it is giving things away. I've seen posts from people saying they have just got their first place and looking for donations and when I've looked at their page they are posing with bottles of booze and it's covered in marijuana motifs. It puts me off donating anything tbh and they should have a think about the image they are portraying and clean it up a bit before expecting people to give them things.

CrapBag · 25/09/2015 12:03

Sorry but this is absolutely ridiculous. She is free to share whatever crap she likes on her own FB page. It's none of your business tbh.

I have 2 cousins who share this shite but I can honestly say they are pretty thick and uneducated and I just ignore it.

You sell to the person who wants to buy it. Nobody vets a customer. You can't go into a shop and be refused to be served based on what crap you spout on FB so this is utterly ridiculous.

MaidOfStars · 25/09/2015 12:18

If you accept the principle that you have the right to refuse "service" based on a disagreement with a customer's political beliefs, you must think about the ramifications of that principle across the board.

For example, you are enabling providers to refuse service to gay or black people. However, you are also allowing people to refuse to sell to members of the WBC or the KKK. Which side you come down on is a tough choice. I'm generally of the idea that people should be free to refuse service that opposes their personal politics but not to discriminate against a person in the same action.

Thus, a Christian baker cannot refuse to sell a cake to a gay person, but can refuse to ice it with a pro gay-marriage slogan. The only reason I accept this is because I want the right to refuse to ice a cake with a "god hates faggots" slogan.

So, I think your daughter is being unreasonable. If the item/s were to be used for a Britain First parade, I'd have no qualms in backing her up, but I presume this is not the case.