to say I love my male best friend?

[lotsofcurlywurlys]

My sister is more or less outraged by me saying this after her quizzing me on my friendship with him. I am married so is my male friend we are both 40 now and have know each other since our early 20's we get on well with each others spouses and sometimes socialise as a foursome but more often or not we meet up just the two of us to do something fun or just grab some dinner and chat. It is a purely platonic relationship on both sides but I do love him not in a I want to jump on him kind of way but I can't really think of another work that more aptly describes what I feel for him, it just feels like love to me.

I should point out that I love my husband in a much deeper, more physical and complex way. Is it really so awful as my sister seems to think, that I feel I love my male friend?

I thnk....you need to be very careful displaying it so overtly. It won't be understood, and you need to recognise and accept that.

Yadnbu . I am sadly no longer in contact with my male uni best friend but crap I loved that guy a lot. In a totally platonic way. We were best mates. Tbh I feel sorry for people who think friendship between straight men and women is necessarily going to become sexual

Well I normally wouldn't say it I was being pressured a bit by my sister who I think was looking for something more juicy than she got.

I think it is a bit sad too that some people don't think plantonic friendship is possible, it is but it probabaly is a bit rarer than romantic love or same sex friendships.

I have a male best friend! I love him, but would not want a romantic relationship with him. I understand the dynamic you are describing perfectly.

I love lots of men to one degree or another in the same way that I love most of my close female friends - it sounds like your sister is looking for something to pick at and this was the easiest thing she could find.

There are many different types of love.

My best mate is a man, I love him to pieces. My dp understands this. There is and never will be anything between us, he is like family to me and I to him.

He is single and he doesn't generally socialise with me and my dp although we have dinner parties every now and again.

Dp has made it clear from the start that he understands our relationship and would never get in the way.

People who think you cannot have male female friendships need to grow up.

Of course you're not being unreasonable. Some people can't see opposite-sex friendships without imagining subterranean lust, though.

I have a male friend I adore - I also absolutely love his wife. I knew him first very well and I have never wanted to see him naked ever. Ugh. But I love him like I love my girlfriends. He just isn't a girl. Thank god his wife is as brilliant as him. I think you're fine.

There's a huge difference to being IN love and love.

I love my children but am not in love with them.
I'm in love with my husband.

Personally, I think it's sad that people can't understand the difference.

My best friend is male. He was my boyfriend for 2 years when we were teenagers so some people think it's strange we're so close, and I'm sure some believe we still have feelings for each other, but we're not bothered what they think! We definitely love each other, but in a totally different way from how we felt about each other when we were young or how we feel about our spouses now. Neither of us have problems saying 'love you' to each other in front of our spouses either (we probably say that more than most best mates would as we live in different countries so don't get to see each other often). I agree with PP, it's sad that other people can't see that platonic relationships can exist, I really value ours.

My best friend is male. My second closest friend is also male, though they're not particularly keen on one another. We're all in our 40s now, I've been friends with them since ages 14 and 17. I tell each that I love them, and they tell me. Totally platonic, always has been - I've never so much as snogged either one of them, even in the mists of time.

It bugs me to hell when we're out and I see friends raising eyebrows at us hugging, and they nudge me and give questioning looks. He's my best mate, FFS!

Not quite the same as my male best friend is gay, but boy do I love him We often joke that there's three of us in the marriage. Just all got back from a holiday abroad and had a blast.

Friendships like yours should be treasured. Don't let your sister interfere.

Me too. I love my male best friend, who also happened to me my first boyfriend. ThroughThickandThin, it's not the op's issue if people are uncomfortable with it, it's theirs.

Agree with everyone, but I do think people judge and make assumptions and that (and this is all) it's an added pressure. And as we get older there are pressures on friendships (just look at all the threads here about them) if there's a possible perceived sexual slant to the friendship, that's an added pressure that needs to be factored in for the friendship to thrive and survive.

My DH has a female friend he loves dearly. I love her too, but she's much closer to him than to me due to having known him ages longer than me and a shared hobby.

If your sister can't understand platonic love then I think your sister is a bit nasty minded.

YANBU!! I'm a happily married man and most of my friends are women. I would have no problem saying I love the closest of them, my wife understands the difference between 'friend love' and romantic love. I don't pretend, either, that I feel absolutely nothing sexual for any of my female friends, I do fancy some of them but it just adds an extra edge to our friendship, I'm never in a million years going to DO anything about it, I'd be out on my arse within seconds and anyway it would ruin a beautiful friendship, why would I want that? I think 'When Harry Met Sally' has a lot to answer for. Love your friends; it's normal.

It looks like she's misinterpreting what you mean by "Love". I'd calmly explain to her that you don't mean it in a sexual way, and if she doesn't get that then so be it. No point wasting time trying to explain something to people that won't let you.

YANBU! I love all of my friends, some are blokes and some are women. Your sister must have watched When Harry Met Sally at an impressionable age.

My best male friend and I often say goodbye with I love you we don't socialise alone as we all get on but do sometimes chat on the phone pass in the gym cross paths at work. He has been there for me through some really bad times and vice versa why wouldn't I love him?

I had male best friend for over a decade. Both of us were in relationships and our relationship was never more than platonic. The first time neither of us was in a relationship we realised it isn't platonic - we are getting married next year.

congratulations noisytoys