to feel like my son is behind...

[cjt110]

...when someone with a child who is younger/same age as my DS does something monumental (walks, talks) I always feel a little pang of jealously almost that he isnt. IKIABU but still...A friend I have, her son is 10m is standing unaided and says words. Another friend's daughter is 3 weeks younger than my son and is walking. My son is 13m. Walks confidently with a pushalong walker and cruises along furniture confidently but doesnt stand unaided, walk or say anything - he does babble a lot and he seems to have connected mama with me but perhaps thats wishful thinking

He's perfectly normal, and I suspect that this is a situation where the phrase 'comparison is the thief of joy' comes into play. In a year's time, you won't remember whose child was walking at how old and they will all be at the same level, so try to just enjoy him and steer clear of the temptation to compare him with others.

^This.

You've probably heard it before but every child does things at their own pace, particularly at this age. For example, with walking it's considered 'normal' for it to happen anywhere between 8 months and 20 months. That's a huge range right there.

I found with my three DC that they would seem like they weren't doing anything and then all of a sudden would seem to take a huge developmental jump and develop several new skills seemingly overnight. They'd go from not walking or talking to doing both.

I know it's difficult but it's really best not to compare. With infants and toddlers a month may as well be a year in terms of how quickly development can move forwards.

How do you do it? Not compare I mean. I'm not competitive usually. I haven't any experience of babies really other than my son so I don't know whats "normal" and whats not. Nursery, I assume, would be the first to point out if he wasn't hitting essential targets/milestones.

StormyLlewelyn Good example there and some [perspective for me. You are right. I know that my son, for example, in the SAME day started to crawl on his hands and knees rather than do the commando crawl aswell as walking upright with his pushalong walker.

Honestly, OP, relax and enjoy your little boy and don't give it another thought. Do you also compare your DP/DH with other men and worry that there are hotter/more solvent ones out there? It's no way to live!

Personally, I think it's easy just to remember that, barring any specific physical disabilities, every child learns to walk and talk and it really doesn't matter how many weeks it was. The age at which they learn to do these things isn't indicative of anything in the way of overall intelligence or ability and therefore it makes little or no difference in the long-run when they actually master each task, so long as they get there in the end.

Realistically, the range of 'normal' is so broad as to be almost meaningless - I know children who were walking at 8 months and those who didn't walk till they were 18 months plus, some who pretty much started talking with full sentences and some who didn't even say 'mummy' until they were nearly 2, but then caught up in a matter of weeks. My son randomly forgot how to count, having been able to do it for nearly a year, and then it suddenly came back. There are plenty of resources online which will give you the broad timescales for walking and talking etc, and your HV will do checks at milestone points to ensure that everything appears normal, but so long as he's happy and healthy, everything else will follow in 99.9% of cases.

Your ds is perfect. I feel your pain, but of course nobody will remember when your ds has walked unaided/ learned to swim/ reached the lime book band and he will do all of the above.

I wonder how I will feel when others start to reach milestones not everybody reaches, may that be an A* maths GCSE, being a superb dancer, finding a lovely spouse, getting into Oxford or delivering brilliant grandchildren.

Do you look at your friends and wonder what age they walked at? Really not a big deal in the real world. DD walked at 17 months, she didnt want to ... made no difference to her education.... or any other ability.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Obviously not no.

Once your dc get older it seems ridiculous comparing when they walked, talked, potty trained, ate lumps, dressed themselves or even started reading - because it bears no relationship to anything later on.

And the times they do these things can really vary. Some walk at 9 months, others at 18 months. My 10 year old walked at 10 months. Her friend from ante natal class, who's now about 2 years ahead academically, walked at 17 months. Some start reading at age 3 but they're not necessarily the ones who are the best readers age 10.

If you think it through, the ultimate aim is to have a happy dc grow into a happy adult. So it's about building on the strengths/interests that they have, regardless of what they are. It doesn't matter what anybody else is doing.

It'll all seem moot by the time he starts school. My DD is 7 and I actually can't remember how old she was when she walked or said her first word, all I know is she didn't do either unusually early or worryingly late. Just enjoy each stage as it comes and ignore anyone who thinks their child is superior because they reached a milestone early.

You do it by, just reminding yourself everyone those thoughts start.

As pp pointed out, in the long run it's nothing. It's not going to make any difference in a few months time.

If you are worried nursery (if he goes one) is worth asking or health professionals.

One of mine walked at 10 months, the other 14 months. They were over a year apart it actual talking.

My DH didn't walk unaided until he was 2! Now, at 44, he's a really fast, confident walker (stealth boast!)

In all seriousness it can feel a bit competitive sometimes but I think it's best, if you're feeling like that, to focus on what he can do and what you feel he's achieved. It doesn't help when your friends are a bit showy offy.

My DD was like yours at 13months. Overnight something seemed to click with her at about 14/15 months, now at 18 months she's walking and running inside and outside and says two word phrases. Some babies pick things up at a gradual pace, others will do nothing and then suddenly surprise you. I know other babies who have said nothing until 2 or 3 and suddenly come out with full sentences!

In a few years time, we won't remember when they did this or that for the first time, other than when we look at baby record books (not that I've remembered to fill ours in )

Health visitors/nurseries don't even begin to worry about not talking and not walking at 13 months - it's totally normal, he's got his own little pace - and if he finds he's faster getting about cruising/crawling, that's how he'll get about! He's not behind - he's just a smart thinker; getting places faster in the way he knows best! :)

Thanks everyone. I should definitely be concentrating on what he CAN do... like yesterday, he's suddenly started clicking his tongue off the roof of his mouth... eh? Strange child.

He definitely isn't behind, or I dont believe so anyway as I'm sure nursery would have been telling us if he was. I take it as a good sign that at 13m, they are already discussing his move up to the toddler room at 18m.

DS walked at 14 months but didn't really say anything till 2 and had to have some speech therapy. He's top of his class and never stops talking.

Seriously, don't worry and try not to be so eager for him to get to each next stage. I was like that and now wish I had enjoyed each stage more, as with hindsight I can see that he was a baby/toddler for such a small amount of time.

My son didn't refer to or recognise me as 'Mama' until he was 20 months old.

Just as everyone else has already said - babies do and pick things up at their own pace. When you stop comparing to others it will feel like a load has been lifted off your mind

One nice thing was, last night, I plucked him out of his cot, he roused a little. I sat in the chair in his room and cradled him in my arms 9No mean feet as he's already 32" tall!!) and he dropped back off to sleep. Husband came down stairs and looked for me, spotted me in DS' room and was like "What are you doing?" I was able to reply "Just enjoying him" :)

It's a marathon, not a sprint.

My PFB walked at 8 months, but couldn't say anything intelligible until nearly 2. He rarely sat still & played with toys instead preferring to run around, bash and throw things. On the other hand, my friend's PFB who was born the very next day, talked very early and was really good at jigsaws & puzzles but didn't walk until 18 months.

Both perfectly normal 10 year olds now!

Just because some others are doing obvious things earlier, don't get hung up on it. My Nephew was much later sitting, standing, walker than my DD, but his dexterity was way ahead. People didn't notice that which was tough on Nephew's mum who, like you, felt her child was behind. He was just more interested in doing jigsaws etc than moving.

And over this weekend, another 2 friends have announced how their Los have taken their first steps

Enough already. Tell them your LO can blow the world's best raspberries and is a dab hand at

My DS was last at everything - walking (17 months), talking, playing etc. He was then the little monkey who was always in the head's office being told off at school. Now 23, he's finished his Physics degree and a Masters from a top uni, and is employed by an organisation who only take on only one out of every 300 applicants.

We really never pushed him - he just found his own place - some of his very bright little friends have done well, others not so, but as long as they're happy, that's fine.

Don't worry - enjoy your little one for who he is.

In other news... my son learnt how to attach his duplo bricks to the base at the weekend and now clicks his tongue off the roof of his mouth... lol