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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to ask if misophonia is real?

90 replies

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 23/09/2015 21:07

DS (15) has self diagnosed misophonia. For a few years he has overreacted badly to some sounds like sniffing (particularly me and DD) and people licking fingers when eating fish and chips. He has described a growing rage that makes him want to lash out. As he's got older he's learned to take himself away when the feeling of rage starts but we're heading into winter which is colds/flu and of course sniffing season.

I've never heard of it but when I Googled it it does sound possible. Have any of you lovely MNers come across this? Is it something to see the GP about or will he grow out of it? Any thoughts? I've posted in AIBU because I can't work out the more appropriate place. Thank you.

OP posts:

ToTheGups · 23/09/2015 21:42

exasperated the amount of rows my exh and I had because he was breathing too loudly. He just didn't get why it annoyed me do much, neither of us had heard of misophonia and to him I was literally just snapping at him for breathing. To me breathing should be silent, that's not so much to ask surely.

frumpet · 23/09/2015 21:44

So glad I found this thread ! I have suffered from this since I was small , about 7 years old I think . There is no way DH and I would be married if he ate as he does now when we first got together , I cannot be in the same room as him when he eats and long car journeys are a complete nightmare as he chews his way through a bag of sweets or any kind of food . My eldest has unfortunately inherited the same condition.
Bizarrely I can tolerate any person eating in any way whilst they are under my care as a patient , they can chew , masticate loudly , chomp , slurp , suck and generally do everything that sets my teeth on edge and fantasise ill things happening to the perpetrator in any other situation .
The above leads me to think that it is possible to be cured , but how ?

PacificDogwod · 23/09/2015 21:46

Yes, of course it's real, like everybody has been saying.

I'd recommend an actual diagnosis, over a self-diagnosis though.
Get your DS to see his GP for referral onwards to ENT to rule out any other causes and psychology for treatment.

BlackeyedSusan · 23/09/2015 21:48

yes it exists and it causes physical discomfort in ears. worse if I have bunged up ears. something to do with the pressure?

some sounds are fine, some are unbearable. distraction works. if I am eating at the same time as someone else, not so bad. or else have the radio or tv on so I can concentrate on that. noisy restaurants are not too bad as there seems to be enough noise to distract from the specific noises, unless it is the squeaking of plates.

and yes it can make one feel murderous, because the noise hurts. ds has spd. and this has similar effects for all senses.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 23/09/2015 21:50

Tothegups is he your ex because of his breathing

Sometimes when I'm lying quietly at night in bed and can hear my blood pulsing through my ears if you know what i mean, it drives me up the wall and I get really irritated by it haha

frumpet · 23/09/2015 21:50

Weirdly children under about the age of 7 I can forgive just about anything eating wise , but once they hit juniors , the rage hits . What's that all about ?

SecretRed · 23/09/2015 21:58

Mulli, I'm a bit like your Dad although I try my hardest to hide my irritation. What you've said has really made me think. I need to develop some coping mechanisms as I don't want my family to feel like they walk on eggshells all the time.

Hushabyelullaby · 23/09/2015 22:05

Yes it's very real! I have just started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to Deal with it. I found that it was getting worse and started to take over my life. I've only had one session so far!

sleeponeday · 23/09/2015 22:06

I'd never heard of it, but as I have a child with sensory processing problems which also encompasses something similar (fear and distress rather than rage, though) it sounds very real.

I'd be proud of him - he has recognised it isn't a problem with other people, but with his response, and is trying to do something about it. Then again, he has a mum who is also trying to educate herself on it and do her research, so he's obviously a chip off a thoughtful old block. I hope the help you and he identify for him over it is useful.

Mulligrubs · 23/09/2015 22:08

SecretRed it's good that you recognise that you have misophonia and you already do try to hide your irritation. My dad is so stubborn he won't admit that he has to help himself by managing his problem. (I've made my dad sound awful on here, got to say his misophonia affected us all but he is a fantastic man!) Although I don't suffer from misophonia myself I do see that it is an awful condition and I really feel for my dad and others like you who suffer but it's a real shame it can affect those surrounding the sufferer too.

Gruntfuttock · 23/09/2015 22:11

It's very real. My daughter (24) has it very badly and I have it too, although mine is triggered by fewer sounds than my daughter's. The murderous rage it induces is horrible and of course affects the people with whom the sufferer is living, as they feel they hardly dare breathe, let alone eat anything. When I spent several years commuting by train between the Sussex coast and London it was really hellish. I found all the noises other comuters made unbearable:- eating*, sniffing, coughing and especially yawning !

*So many start eating as soon as they're on the train.

MrsSadness · 23/09/2015 22:13

I definitely have this It makes life really miserable sometimes.

Junosmum · 23/09/2015 22:16

Whether it's a true 'condition' I'm not sure but I can't explain why I want to suffocate my husband when he does that whistly, snuffly breathing at night or when he does the snaffly, sloppy eating thing. Or when other sniff incessantly and I want to slap them. I have issues, I know, but it stops me sleeping!

Gruntfuttock · 23/09/2015 22:18

Oh bugger. Typo in my post above. I meant to type "commuters" of course.

Regularhiding · 23/09/2015 22:25

are people serious about suggesting a GP visit? what could the doctor possibly do ?
I ask because my sister is a GP and she suffers from it !
I do too.

CrapBag · 23/09/2015 22:28

Oh is this a thing? I hate hate hate the sound of people eating. I could literally scream and throw something. I thought it was just me being odd. The DCs know to eat with their mouths closed but I can still hear them and certain noises that you can't help when eating.

I have noticed that a fair few of DS's friends eat with their mouths open and still carry on after I ask them not to. It makes me not want them around again because I feel so angry, and of course I cant't get angry at random school children! How their parents haven't taught them to eat with their bloody mouths closed I don't know!

I also have tinnitus. That can give me the rage too.

I also suffer with ME/CFS and am very sensitive to noise. A lot of noise can stress me out and bring on my symptoms. I'll frequently leave children's parties feeling ill.

Sometimes I'd think I wouldn't mind being partially deaf just to get some relief .

CrapBag · 23/09/2015 22:30

Oh I had a plumber last year who used to breathe loudly with his mouth open. In the end he made my skin crawl because of it and I just wanted him to get out of my house. Urgh, hate the sound of people breathing, especially when they sound bunged up but aren't type breathing.

Mamiof3 · 23/09/2015 22:30

Yes it's real!

I don't have it but I lived with a girl who constantly sniffed and didn't think it was weird, but the sheer amount of sniffing was unreal ... There's really no need to sniff with s cold, just blow your nose or give it a good wipe, sniffing is so unnecessary!

echt · 23/09/2015 23:43

I can't be doing with the sniffing/heavy breathing/ finger-licking/ slurping. I'm in Japan at the moment, where sniffing is fine, indeed to blow one's nose in public is viewed askance. Loud slurping of noodles is appreciated, and I'm finding this a trial. The thing I've noticed, and my heavy-breathing DH agrees, is that it's men who do all this with so much relish, so loudly. I wonder what misophonic Japanese would do, or would cultural expectations mean it wouldn't feature for them.

I'm not suggesting misophonia is made up, as I'm a bit that way myself, but can see how so much of it is based around our general expectations of proper behaviour.

Pteranodon · 23/09/2015 23:47

My dad used to shout at us most meal times for 'eating noisily'. He was very unpleasant to live with tbh. For a decade now he has been quite deaf and now eats so loudly himself it can turn my stomach. I don't feel angry though, don't think I have misophonia. I do feel justified in avoiding more than duty visits with him though.

Andro · 23/09/2015 23:55

what could the doctor possibly do ?

Arrange the appropriate referrals so that a formal diagnosis can be made...useful for obtaining special arrangements in exams/being allowed to use earplugs/etc.

redredblue · 24/09/2015 00:23

Yes I have this.
If I hear a certain sound I get inexplicable rage and heart palpitations.

redredblue · 24/09/2015 00:25

I tend to mentally block out my surroundings so I don't notice as much things as I should do.
Which results in people thinking I'm ignoring them.

IllyrianSky · 24/09/2015 00:28

I don't think I have this but as I says up thread, constant sniffing when you can just blow your nose gets me so bad but I HATE IT when people go to speak and then get a frog in their throat and have to sort of splutter and clear their throat and start again. A guy at work does it constantly, it's like he has a very dry throat or something. It's 'Can you - tiny cough, clear throat loudly - can you just - cough with 'ahem' noise, sniff, cough - can you just forward me that email?' OH MY ACTUAL GOD

DrFoxtrot · 24/09/2015 00:30

I have this too and so does my 7 year old DD. I seem to have become more tolerant or able to manage it better as I've got older. We sometimes eat with the radio on if my DD can't cope but we try not to make a big thing about it.

The absolute worst sound is those radio adverts with eating - the weight watchers ones where the woman is talking about all you can eat while eating I've not heard one for a while though.

I also can't bear whispering.

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