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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I'm being a bitch aren't I?

38 replies

MakeThemEatCake · 23/09/2015 17:50

We're having work done on our (rented) flat this week, essential maintenance work arranged by our landlord. It might run into 2 weeks, they're not sure yet.

The workmen are very nice, there's 3 of them and they've been nothing but polite, chatty and super respectful. They like to drink a lot of tea, and I told them to just ask when they want one. However, DP doesn't work at the moment (another thread) and I'm signed off and on esa for various health issues. Money is very very tight, to the point where I sold 2 bags of my clothes to a clothes bank last week, and am having to ask for food from my parents.

I don't know how I'll be able to afford the teabags, milk and sugar possibly for the next fortnight! They each have about 6 cups a day, and started Monday. I feel I can't say anything to them, I need to get a grip don't I?!! Aibu?

OP posts:

TenForward82 · 23/09/2015 17:53

TBF, you did say "ask", so awkward to retract now. Last time I had workmen around, I offered and they had their own little tea caddy of teabags, milk, sugar etc and said "oh, it's ok, love, we're sorted". I was well impressed!

laffymeal · 23/09/2015 17:54

Fuck that they can provide their own refreshments, you're not running a cafe.

patienceisvirtuous · 23/09/2015 17:55

Can you just get a big box of the cheapest tea bags and some basic long life milk?

If not poss it's not your responsibility to supply them with refreshments. If they ask just say 'sorry I have run out (and if you're brave enough add 'you might want to bring your own flask of tea tomorrow')'

Original poster

MakeThemEatCake · 23/09/2015 17:56

Hmm I like that tenforward, a caddy! That would be idea. I know, I offered and was trying to be polite, I'm too polite all the time to everyone. I hinted by saying I'm not much of a tea drinker myself so don't make it that well, and one of the guys said "Ooh I have about 20 cups a day, I need it!"

OP posts:

patterkiller · 23/09/2015 17:56

Just tell then you've ran out and then stop talking. Hopefully they will fill the silence with 'it's ok we will bring/buy our own' in fairness if they knew you are struggling they would most likely be mortified that their tea habit was playing such havoc.

OneDay103 · 23/09/2015 17:57

Yanbu, 6 cups each is quite a lot on its own. It's a bit cheeky tbh. Next time just say you've run out of teabag and will get it sometime in the week.

WizardOfToss · 23/09/2015 17:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mummble · 23/09/2015 17:59

Say you've made a little space for them in the fridge to store their milk and teabags and say they can keep drinks or whatever on the side - it will sound like you're being nice about it.

Are you getting money off your rent while this maintenance work is being carried out? Our LL carried out some works and we were rent free for the duration.

JawannaDrink · 23/09/2015 17:59

You can get value teabags for about 40p, get those then tell them you're out of milk and they can pick some up.

wowfudge · 23/09/2015 18:00

Do you have a teapot? I find you can make twice as many cups of tea with a teapot - so two bags does four cups of tea. And yes to buying some UHT milk - you might even put them off!

TheTigerIsOut · 23/09/2015 18:04

I am pretty sure that if you don't offer, they won't ask.

Original poster

MakeThemEatCake · 23/09/2015 18:07

Thanks, its helping to see I'm not being a total tight cow! If I had more money it'd be fine even though I hate making tea

Great idea about making a space in the fridge for them, and maybe saying I've run out of one of the items so they have to contribute. I'll buy some value teabags tomorrow and just use them.

mummble it never occurred to me! I would appreciate that from them as in all honesty its a bloody nightmare. It sounds silly but its affecting my anxiety. They are drilling a lot as they're rewiring the electrics, there's dust everywhere, we've had to rearrange lots of furniture. They're here from 8 until 5. I find it intrusive but feel mean for that. How could I bring it up to ll?

OP posts:

TheCatsMother99 · 23/09/2015 18:08

I agree with the whole 'I've run out of X, feel free to pick some up' line. I'm sure they'll just be happy to have somewhere to make it even if you don't provide the whole shebang.

Fugghetaboutit · 23/09/2015 18:10

Isn't there a cafe nearby ffs? 6 cups a day is taking the piss

Original poster

MakeThemEatCake · 23/09/2015 18:23

No teapot wowfudge we used to have one but never used it, I think I gave it to my dad.

Yes there's a cafe near, they're buying tea from there too I was out yesterday morning and when I got back one of them was saying he's been doing some particularly difficult work and needs ten minutes. There was silence so I just blurted out "Cup of tea then?" I don't know why. He said they'd all just had one from the cafe over the road but yes they'd all love another one! I cried inside. I'm the opposite of Mrs Doyle...

OP posts:

NuggetofPurestGreen · 23/09/2015 18:29

We had builders recently and I offered them tea and they said no and went to the shop and bought tea milk sugar bread ham and butter. The head builder said 'no love, there's 4 of us, imagine if we had 4 cups a day each, that's 16, which over 5 days is 80 teabags'. It hadn't even occurred to me how much it would add up.

I did get to keep the leftovers though

PastaLaFeasta · 23/09/2015 18:34

Our builders bought their own milk and coffee despite us having plenty. So do ask and don't suffer for them, tea bags are actually quite expensive if buying them in especially. They even left the remaining stuff behind. Plus the work is for the landlord's benefit not yours.

TheCraicDealer · 23/09/2015 18:40

I think any builder who takes that sort of line is bound to be good "Nugget*!

Original poster

MakeThemEatCake · 23/09/2015 21:55

Nugget they sound fantastic!
Nice that they thought it through and realised that the teabags etc cost money, plus making them every hour or so is annoying, especially if you don't drink tea!!!

Going to 'run out of milk' early tomorrow morning and see what happens.

OP posts:

Mamiof3 · 23/09/2015 22:27

To be fair they are probably rarely offered a brew at other properties, my dp has had to drive 4 mile to asda for a wee before as he wasn't allowed to use any facilities in a house he was working on (they also made him ask to enter other rooms even if he needed to go in to complete wiring etc, bloody insanity) so they are taking you up on your very kind offer and not thinking about the cost of teabags and milk! Just run out and say 'if you pop and get some I'm happy to brew up!' Or 'you're welcome to the kettle anytime you just need to grab some tea bags, sorry I've totally run out and can't get to the shop today'

Original poster

MakeThemEatCake · 24/09/2015 14:09

I'm shocked at that mami, very mean to refuse him use of the toilet! Is their piss so much better than anyone else's then?! Just madness as its all the same stuff that goes in loos!!

The rooms thing - my god if we had such a rule it would take three times the length of time. They are constantly in and out of all the rooms and moving everything around.

I've been out all day but got back and partner has bought more milk and was making them one as I walked in. Not only that but they've broken my sons lampshade not deliberately but he'll be upset, he has suspected ocd and gets very attached to his things and panics at the thought of them being thrown away.
Just got to suck it up I guess.

OP posts:

WorktoLive · 24/09/2015 14:28

Your DP's client was probably a mumsnetter mami. There's always threads on here from people who won't let tradespeople use their toilets..

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 24/09/2015 15:14

I never offer tea and coffee, I don't have any in the house as I don't drink them. Also milk is hit and miss depending what I've been having for breakfast, and no sugar. I only own 2 mugs!

I did feel slightly guilty for not providing any for the very lovely electricians who spent five hours doing some rewiring and hoovered my hallway to clean up the mess better than I had done it before they came one asked to use the toilet which I of course said yes to.

Can't see why you wouldn't let someone have a wee when they're spending all day doing work for you! (Not the op, i know).

OP yanbu, especially since you're struggling so much financially that it would cause a real issue. Yes to giving them access to the kettle and somewhere to make it themselves, but only if it's convenient and you're happy to do it.

Sunnyshores · 24/09/2015 15:22

Im suprised you havent been offered a rent rebate by the landlord. Its a lot of work for a along period and it is very inconvenient.

Id perhaps drop them an email and say - its been a week now and whilst the builders are very pleasant etc etc, I hadnt really realised what a huge disruption it would be and how the lack of privacy would exacerbate my health issues.

You're entitled to quiet enjoyment of the property and Id argue this breaks that right.

So just end by saying......so I think it reasonable to ask for a rent reduction over this period.

From the sound of your posts, you're not going to be comfortable doing this, but believe me many tenants demand rent reductions and get very arsey about alot less.

Original poster

MakeThemEatCake · 24/09/2015 15:37

Oh I know notme, to refuse workmen the use of your toilet seems very spiteful and wouldn't even occur to me! Yeah its really impacting on me tbh :/
sunny its a difficult one...very long story but when we moved in it was an acquaintance who was our LL, he was subletting it to us and himself renting it from a property management company. They ended the arrangement with him due to rent arrears, and became our landlords directly. We had gas and electric safety checks and it was discovered to be below acceptable standards, hence the work now.

Theyve worded it in such a way that it feels they're doing us a favour, ie "We've decided we're going to go ahead and get all that work done for you guys, yes its costing our client (the owner) lots of money but we want you to be safe" etc. So I've thanked them and am grateful they're doing it.
Not sure how I could word an email to them about rent reduction, any ideas?! Would be so grateful!

Also we get housing benefit atm so they might think I have no business asking for money off.

But I can't pretend - I'm finding it hard. I can't relax properly, and I have to try to because of my anxiety, and certain rooms are out of bounds for hours at a time. The dust is getting to me

OP posts:

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