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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to spend £90 an hour on this?

33 replies

Joolsy · 23/09/2015 10:12

I have a phobia that I'd like to get sorted. A therapist friend of mine recommended a friend of hers who can treat phobias with the "human givens" approach which I don't completely understand but she reckons is brilliant and says the friend of hers is the best person for the job. Trouble is, it's £90 a session though I rang the lady and she says it usually takes no more than 2 sessions. She has treated lots of phobias successfully apparently. However if it doesn't work I'll be gutted that I've wasted my money. Any advice please?

OP posts:
InimitableJeeves · 23/09/2015 10:14

I know nothing about this therapy, but £90 an hour sounds extremely expensive. Shop around?

GloGirl · 23/09/2015 10:17

Do you have £90? Will you be going without food, or getting a Wonga loan to pay for it?

If you liked the woman and felt positive about making an appointment after talking to her, go for it.

Fizzielove · 23/09/2015 10:18

Can I ask what the phobia is?

MinecraftWonder · 23/09/2015 10:19

I would go see your GP first, if the money could be better used - they can refer you for CBT/phobia therapy too, assuming of course it is an 'actual' phobia and not just a fear.

Mintyy · 23/09/2015 10:21

I had CBT for free on the nhs, arranged via my doctor. Would something like that help you?

I can understand your misgivings - I also think two sessions would be unlikely to cure it.

Bottlecap · 23/09/2015 10:29

Interesting. I just googled it, and found the book on Amazon which is very highly rated.

I think I'd need to know more about how the phobia is affecting your life, and your financial situation.

Duckdeamon · 23/09/2015 10:47

Depends on your financial situation, degree of impact the phobia has on your life etc.

I would check her credentials, eg qualifications and might try NHS first.

CocktailQueen · 23/09/2015 10:51

Hmm. Has she treated your phobia successfully for someone else? Can she offer a guarantee that it will work?

It is a lot of money, but if it will change your life and not impact negatively on it (not being able to afford food, etc.) then maybe...

Have you tried any other kinds of therapy? Why didn't they work?

Original poster
Joolsy · 23/09/2015 10:52

My financial situation is ok, I can afford a couple of sessions but still do not want to waste it. The phobia is spiders. I feel something needs to be done now as my DD1 is petrified (worse than me) and I'd like to be able to deal with them, for her. I think I'll speak to my GP first. Thanks for the replies.

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KevinAndMe · 23/09/2015 10:52

The thing is, you will be gutted if you spend £180 and it doesn't work but how gutted will you be if you don't do it bit somehow realise afterwards that it would have solved all your issues?

£180 is a lot of money. But not even half of the cost of an iPhone, 3 visits to the hairdresser with a colour etc...

This lady is coming with a recommendation and I would imagine your friend wouldn't advise you to do it if she didn't actually think it would work.

My advice for that sort of thing is:

  • dont spend these £180 if it means you will struggle to put food on the tyable afterwards.
  • look at how difference it can make to your quality of life if this phobia goes away.
  • do it only if you are confortable with potentially 'loosing' that money. If you need to struggle for months because you didn't really have the money in the first place, then maybe the risk is too high. If it means you need to a bit more careful with money that month but overall you will be fine, then go for it.
SurlyValentine · 23/09/2015 10:54

I would definitely see my GP first, to find out whether any help was available on the NHS.

Without knowing your financial situation and how much the phobia affects your day to day life, it's impossible to know whether you are BU or not.

KevinAndMe · 23/09/2015 10:54

Cocktail I don't know of any therapists or doctors worth their salt that will tell you that xxx will DEFINITIVELY solve a problem.

They can tell you it has work for most people, that their experience is that xxx etc... but to say that for sure it will work isn't possible.

margeys · 23/09/2015 10:54

Humans Given is good for treating phobias, but £90 an hour is expensive. Google Human Givens and there is a list of qualified counsellors on their site.

Original poster
Joolsy · 23/09/2015 10:59

The other Human Givens therapists in my area are a bit cheaper but my friend said this lady is the best. I won't need to be careful financially if I pay it out. I've tried hypnotherapy for this in the past but only had a small effect. Yes, this lady has treated my phobia for others.

OP posts:
LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 23/09/2015 11:14

It does sound quite expensive, although cost is very much relative to where you live (a friend of mine pays her therapist £150/hr in central London)

Is the therapist a member of/accredited by BACP?

Iusedtobeapenguin · 23/09/2015 11:16

Ooh I saw a thing on Embarrassing Bodies about a new App for arachnophobia which is supposed to be really effective. Dr Pixie (I think) tried it because she was terrified of spiders. She was cured instantly. Don't know if the app is free but it's got to be worth a try I would have thought - I keep meaning to have a go myself actually Smile

This is a link to it. I think you have to have an ipad to be able to use it though.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 23/09/2015 11:18

If you can afford £180 & feel that the impact curing your phobia would have on your life in the future is worth it, then why not?

I would also check that this particular counsellor is qualified/accredited and a competitive price for the field.

Iusedtobeapenguin · 23/09/2015 11:19

Just had a look on itunes - it's called phobia free and it's £4.99. I am going to have a go with it and will report back...

margeys · 23/09/2015 11:30

There are some counsellors working in the NHS, who also happen to be qualified in Human Givens. Always worth checking.

Original poster
Joolsy · 23/09/2015 11:41

Wow thank you Iusedtobeapenguin. I'm going to give that app a go

OP posts:
MsGee · 23/09/2015 11:50

I think it depends on whether you can afford it.

I had a few humans givens sessions and it helped enormously with previous traumatic memories. The approach is fairly simple but it does work.

Penfold007 · 23/09/2015 11:51

£90 an session (45 to 60 minutes) is expensive for any form of counselling/therapy. Have you considered Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) it has a proven track record for phobias.

Iusedtobeapenguin · 23/09/2015 12:03

Ooh Joolsy that's exciting - we can be app buddies! I'm going to have a go at it tonight so we'll both have to report back!

Lindt70Percent · 23/09/2015 12:22

I went to our local zoo for a course they run for arachnophobics. It was for one evening and cost only £50 (14 years ago!) and worked superbly for me.

I think there were about 6 of us on the course. We learned about spiders and also about phobias. There was a hypnotherapist there who did some general hypnotherapy with all of us but also went to each of us individually to say a few things that applied specifically to us. Every now and then the zoo contacts me to ask if I need a top up course but I've never needed it.

I used to find it very difficult to be in the same room as a spider, certainly couldn't have gone to sleep with one in my bedroom. I can't say I love them now but can sleep knowing there's one in the room. I also have no problem putting a glass over a spider and sliding a piece of paper underneath so I can carry it out of the house if I need it removed because it's in the bath or something.

It's so worth getting the problem sorted!

Original poster
Joolsy · 23/09/2015 12:25

Iusedtobeapenguin - unfortunately I don't have access to the ipad until fri so will try it then. Are you able to pm me & let me know how you get on? I'm a bit sceptical as pictures/films of spiders don't bother me at all.

MsGee - can you tell me what the approach is in simple terms please?

Penfold007 - I have thought about CBT but this human givens approach apparently gets results much quicker

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