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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To keep ds off school because he is tired?

28 replies

Lasaraleen · 23/09/2015 07:42

Ds is 9 and in Y5. He has also been awake since 2:30am. Properly awake. I have no idea why, it has never happened before, he woke up with a stuffy head cold and just couldn't fall asleep again. I tried everything I could think of and he was trying really hard too, he was very worried about being too tired for school.

So I know you're not meant to keep kids off for being tired, and it's not like he's in reception. But I can't send him in on 5 hours sleep having been awake since 2:30?! Can I?

OP posts:

Duckdeamon · 23/09/2015 07:43

I would personally send him in but with a note for the teacher.

Sometimes better to carry on as normal otherwise end up sleeping in day and further disrupting sleep?

shutupanddance · 23/09/2015 07:44

Keep him off, he sounds like hes coming diwn with something.

KittyandTeal · 23/09/2015 07:44

I wouldn't send him in tbh. He's not likely to learn anything being that tired, he's likely to get over tired and it'll affect the rest of his week at school.

Keep him off, let him sleep (not not so much that he doesn't sleep tonight) maybe do some literacy and numeracy with him later when he's awake and with it

AuntieStella · 23/09/2015 07:44

How does he seem in himself?

Sod the actual number of hours he's been awake/asleep and go by his symptoms IYSWIM. If still the Duracell bunny, he goes in. If RipVanWinkle, then he doesn't.

I'd tend towards sending in, unless really incapable.

Because being awake and active in the day will help reset him towards sleeping at the conventional times.

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/09/2015 07:45

I'd keep him off. my kids are hardly ever off. they get sent in with coughs and colds and even when they moan they are tired.

but I know how I'd feel being at work having since been awake since 2.30 and id he so tired I'd feel nauseous. so yes I'd pump him.full of paracetamol and de congestants and let him soak in a hot bath and sleep.

I see no gain to sending him and potentially causing a rough few days when one day off would solve everything

InimitableJeeves · 23/09/2015 07:46

5 hours sleep as a one-off isn't in itself a reason to keep him off. But it does depend on whether it's an indicator that there's something else wrong.

Original poster

Lasaraleen · 23/09/2015 07:50

It's hard to tell how he is in himself, he's not I'll (just coldy and snuffly) but he very emotional. He seemed knackered yesterday, so I was very surprised he was awake half the night!

He is very rarely off. We both work so I tend towards sending him to school regardless. But I feel wrecked this morning and I actually a bit of sleep whilst he was lying there awake!

OP posts:

GreatFuckability · 23/09/2015 07:53

Id probably keep him off this morning and let him sleep then send him in after lunch.

lougle · 23/09/2015 07:54

Yes you can. He'll be OK. He'll soon perk up once he's in class.

Mrsjayy · 23/09/2015 07:55

Id keep him off hes not his usual self been awake half the night he is probably getting a cold calpol and duvet for him you know him best,

Mrsjayy · 23/09/2015 07:57

Btw mine were hardly off either

Thelushinthepub · 23/09/2015 07:59

I think I'd send him in for a few reasons- that sleeping all day might cause more sleep problems tonight and that I wouldn't want to set an example that you can miss things because you're tired. I also think children are pretty resilient and energetic and he'll perk up when he gets there. But it would depend on how he seemed in himself, and I suppose having the assurance that school would call if he's ill there (and assuming he can be relatively easily picked up)

TheBunnyOfDoom · 23/09/2015 08:02

Assuming the school will ring you if he gets worse, and you can get to school to collect him easily, I would send him in with a note to call you if he gets worse.

It just sounds like he has the beginning of a cold. Not pleasant, but not a reason to stay off school, imo.

Gileswithachainsaw · 23/09/2015 08:19

but what's the point of sending him in to get sent home again? is that just so parents can say "I always send my child to school"

that's your issue to deal.with not the child's. he's exhausted feels like crap and its one sodding day.

CassieBearRawr · 23/09/2015 08:22

I'd send him in for now, he's tired not ill. If he does actually come down with something and needs it you can keep him off then.

Gatehouse77 · 23/09/2015 08:27

Id keep him off. The odd duvet day here and there won't do any harm. At 9 you can explain to him it's a one off under exceptional circumstances.

TheBunnyOfDoom · 23/09/2015 08:28

Because he only has the beginnings of the cold at the moment - I don't think that's a reason to keep a 9 year old off school. He might well be fine once he's with his friends. Most kids are pretty resilient and the start of a cold, while unpleasant, isn't a reason to stay home.

He can go, and if he feels really bad, the school will ring, but in all likelihood, he'll perk up once he gets going and can just have an early bedtime tonight.

GloGirl · 23/09/2015 08:30

As above, sending him in if he is capable is the best way to help him get his sleep routine back.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 23/09/2015 08:38

I am intrigued by these duvet days. DH and I both work full time so unless mine are poorly they go to school. I wonder if they will need therapy in later life due to missing this apparently essential part of childhood.
OP in your case I would keep him off he has got himself into an overtired state by the sound of it. Quiet day but not too much napping or the same mag happen tonight
Hopefully he will be right as rain tomorrw

Original poster

Lasaraleen · 23/09/2015 09:56

Well, I have gone with my gut and kept him at home. He looks shattered and says he is headachy and feels poorly, although out in the fresh air and sunshine walking dd to school he was positively cheery so I am not convinced I have done the right thing! He's been reading and I'll try and get him to have a short nap and maybe do some maths or something. Thanks very much for all the advice, even if it was conflicting

OP posts:

Original poster

Lasaraleen · 23/09/2015 09:57

The school is terrible at sending kids home, which swayed me as well...

OP posts:

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 23/09/2015 10:02

I've never had a duvet day. I can't bring myself to stay in my PJ's past breakfast time. Nor bring a duvet downstairs .

I do arrange the cushions & a blanket on the sofa for the DCs when they're ill though, to make a sort of day bed. Not sure if that counts.

StillRunningWithScissors · 23/09/2015 10:09

If he has perked up, what about sending him in after lunch?

BastardGoDarkly · 23/09/2015 10:14

I agree with after lunch, if he's that knackered, he can have an hour this morning?

Artandco · 23/09/2015 10:15

I would have kept mine off also even though we work so more awkward.

I just know as an adult it's horrid being in the office with a cold, tired, and just wanting to go home. I never get much done either as just do minimal to get through the day.

It's far more productive to just stay home that day and fully rest. Usually it stops symptoms getting worse, you feel better hopefully by evening, and the next day even if you still have it a little you feel far better than day before

Also I don't think it's fair to inflict cold ridden kids to teachers and school children if not needed as then even more people will be off and sick

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