Or was this woman just bloody rude?

[Rhine]

This actually happened last week, but its been playing on my mind ever since so I thought Id ask on here about it.

I work through an agency so go from place to place, the agency make us where an identity card around our necks with a photo on it.

Anyway I was sitting in the staff room and a woman who I'd been working with all day, and had been a little off for no apparent, suddenly looked at my ID tag and said, "that's a not a very good photo of you is it? Actually its awful". Bare in mind that until about two hours earlier she'd never met me before, I was taken a back and didn't know how to respond. I'd never taken much notice of my photo before, but have looked since and quite honestly I've seen worse photos of myself. I've asked family and they have said the photo is fine.

I suppose Im a bit taken a back that she thought it was acceptable to make a comment like that about someone she didn't know.

Am I just being a bit over sensitive?

You're not over sensitive, she's nuts.

She might be meaning it's the Photo that's awful, not the subject.

My NHS badge looks nothing like me. My hair is different cut, different colour now.

If anyone said "it;s awful" I'd agree. I know it's not me .

well it is me, as it's my ID, I'm not an imposter

Whether she meant the photo or the subject it is an incredibly rude thing to say so YANBU.

Never underestimate how weird and rude people can be.

I'd have been tempted to say

"I know it's a terrible picture but it is just a picture. You'll still be ugly in the morning."

Wonder how she'd have replied to that

For the record, I'm not a bitch but sometimes people need put in the place!

Maybe she was trying to say she thought the photo was ugly but you aren't.

I wouldn't have minded if she'd said it didn't look like me or something like that, but it just wouldn't enter my head to say that to someone I'd never met before even if I thought it!

Tbh it sounds like something I would say. I'm shit at interacting, things always come across as the opposite of what I intended. Intact in sure I've said almost the same thing to a few people

Intact*

To be honest, I noticed her be quite rude to various regular members of staff whilst I was there and they all seemed to accept it or even laugh it off. She wasn't a manager or anyone senior, so it wasn't like there was a fear element involved.

Unless there's something I'm missing?

YANBU she is the one with the problem, not you.

Hmm not sure depends on her tone, expression. You (op) are of course best placed to judge how she came across. But I recall many years ago I worked in a London borough and wore my council id badge with a hideous picture. I had plaits in the photo and looked like a slightly deranged Heidi, just hideous . One customer said "you look much better in real life" while gesturing towards the badge, that I didn't mind. so she could have worded it much better if her intentions were "pure". Don't let it ruin your day though op,

Some people have no appropriateness filter do they?! Take it as a compliment-awful photo that looks nothing like you because you're lovely. Would you have been less offended if she had phrased it differently eg "hello there, couldn't help noticing your badge, those photos never really do us any favours do they?" Or should she have kept quiet?

Similar thing happened to me once - I handed over my ID and the man behind the counter said " You certainly look better in the flesh!"

I was and then as he was absolutely right

Since then I''ve made much more of an effort with my appearance when having ID photos taken instead of rushing in windswept and sweaty with no make-up so I look like a shiny corpse

Maybe she just doesn't have great social skills or something? I suppose I'll just chalk it up to experience.

I don't understand why everyone is so offended by rude people on here. Not just this post either. Rude people exist everywhere and if someone's rude to me I practically delight in it. Gives me an excuse to flex my own sharp tongue at usually a less than worthy advisary. After that I never give it a seconds thought.

She could have aspergers.
Trying to make small talk but blurting instead.
And that might be why other colleagues accept it.

I say things like that about photos...not to strangers admittedly, but to people who can interpret that what I mean is -

That's an awful photo of you because you look way better than that, somehow the rest of it never manages to get out of my mouth

I don't find it so rude. I find that people mostly hate their own photos, so when you compliment a photo of them they take offense. All this woman was saying was that you look so much better than your photo, to my mind that is a compliment.

You've spent two weeks thinking about some random woman's slightly crap social skills?!

I don't think she was that rude. She was talking about the photo, not about your actual face. In fact, you could take it as a compliment in a roundabout way - she meant the picture doesn't do you justice. But whatever she meant, I do think you're being a bit - OK, very - oversensitive.

I hadn't thought that she may have Aspergers, I suppose it's a possibility. I was just taken a back because I wouldn't dream of saying something like that to someone I didn't really know.

It wasn't two weeks ago BTW, it was last Thursday.

I may be missing something here, but surely it is the photographer she is criticising, not you? She's not saying you look awful - rather the contrary.