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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to send my son to school in trainers?

22 replies

Samwelly · 20/09/2015 08:05

I have just discovered that my 14 year old DS has left is black school shoes at school (he came home in his PE kit on Friday). He doesn't have another spare pair to wear tomorrow. His trainers are literally the only other footwear he has.

Is it bad to send him in trainers tomorrow instead of buying a new pair of black school shoes today? As he left them in the PE changing room, there is a chance that we may never see them again as PE department are rubbish with lost property (even labelled stuff). However, I don't want expense of buying a new pair if originals can be found as they cost a small fortune (he is size 10).

Also, the mean side of me wants him to have the stress of going into school in his trainers and facing the repercussions of his extreme carelessness. I feel that he should have a go at trying to find the shoes himself as a first option.

WWYD?

OP posts:
ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 20/09/2015 08:07

Send him in the trainers, with s note explaining what happened. Tell him he needs to go look for the shoes before doing anything else.

At any school I've worked in that would be accepted.

CalebHadToSplit · 20/09/2015 08:08

That would be fine at my school if he had a note explaining the situation. If he couldn't find them in school, then we would expect a new pair by the following Monday.

It depends on your school, though.

Mistigri · 20/09/2015 08:10

I would (with a call to the school office if they are particularly weird about shoes at his school).

To put this in perspective, my nearly 13 year old has been to school wearing trainers probably 99% of his school life (and other 1% he'd have been wearing snow boots or sports sandals). I'm not aware that it has affected his educational attainment or behaviour ;)

Original poster
Samwelly · 20/09/2015 08:13

I know this sounds a bit silly, but who exactly would one address the note to. He has a tutor, but he doesn't see her until the afternoon. I like the note idea, but am wondering who I need to aim it at?

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 20/09/2015 08:14

I'm not sure why this is a problem.
Just email head of year, or the head, explaining the situation and go from there.
If he doesn't find his shoes however, you will need to replace them though - but I'm guessing you know this.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 20/09/2015 08:14

Just send him in his trainers, with a note, and make sure he tries to find/get his school shoes.

You would be nuts to go and buy another pair of school shoes today if the others were left in the changing rooms

DamnBamboo · 20/09/2015 08:17

I'm not aware that it has affected his educational attainment or behaviour ;)

I never understand why people say shit like this! Honestly! Of course it won't affect his attainment but what has that got to do with anything?

YogaPants · 20/09/2015 08:18

"To whom it may concern" would be appropriate here.

Original poster
Samwelly · 20/09/2015 08:18

Thank you all for your kind reassuring advice. By BIL thought I should buy some more shoes, so I was being to doubt my reasoning! Who should the note be addressed to? He has a tutor, but doesn't see her until the afternoon, by which time he would have been "told off" about his trainers if he hasn't found the shoes.

OP posts:
DamnBamboo · 20/09/2015 08:20

Send him in with a note which is applicable to anyone in authority. Do this and email the appropriate members of staff - form tutor, head of year (head if you have to but they have other things to do) and leave it at that.
This is no biggie, honestly.

greenfolder · 20/09/2015 08:23

In my experience he is million times more likely to find the shoes if you don't provide an immediate solution. By all means write a note but trust me, if he goes to school with shoes on his feet his desire to look for the others will disappear.

dingit · 20/09/2015 08:28

The same thing happened to my ds, and he wore trainers for a week. I emailed his hoy, who was supposed to help him look. In the end it was his best mate that found them. The cleaners had put them high up on the lockers, and ds wasn't tall enough to see, but his mate was. So there is a good chance they will turn up.

OrderofWork · 20/09/2015 08:33

I think at ds's school he'd probably be pit in "the unit" until he had correct shoes, but I'd still send him in trainers until he'd had a proper look for the lost shoes. Of course you can't be replacing them until you know if the old ones will turn up

I'd take the view that if school punish him, maybe he'll learn to take better care etc. He's 14 and he left them, it's too easy for him if you just replace them

Toastedteacakewithbutter · 20/09/2015 09:26

The note doesn't need to be actually given to anyone, just kept and shown to any passing teacher who asks why he is in his trainers. This sort of thing drives me mad at secondary school. Someone else took part of dd's pe kit which was labeled, but never brought it back in so we now have to replace £28 worth of school branded kit whilst someone else wears her nicely kept, great condition kit, either the child or parent doing the washing probably removed the labels ! Grrr

OrderofWork · 20/09/2015 09:34

I always find somewhere to write with permanent marker as well as the sewn in labels. Doesn't cure the problem but does help

Original poster
Samwelly · 20/09/2015 09:41

Yes, l definitely don't want to make it too easy for him!

OP posts:
Original poster
Samwelly · 20/09/2015 10:06

The shoes weren't labelled unfortunately. He has only had them since the start of this term and it was on my "To do" list. I will have to hope for the best. I am normally good with labelling but have been useless on this occasion. Thanks for all the advice. It is much appreciated :)

OP posts:
Witchend · 20/09/2015 11:01

We write that sort of note in their homework planners so they can show it to any teacher that challenges. It works very well.

sproketmx · 20/09/2015 11:04

Can he not just wear trainers? Kids here do

5madthings · 20/09/2015 11:08

Yep I wss going to say to write in planner or homework diary if he has one.

At my kids school they will be put in isolation for the wrong uniform... However ds2's shoes disasappeared just before the end of term. I was not paying £50 for a new pair that he would then grow out of before he went back! His disappeared from the changing room whilst he did pe, some kids had been seen throwing them about..

So the school let him off though they did insist he wore plain black plimsolls which they provided whilst at school then he changed into trainers at home time.

pudcat · 20/09/2015 11:23

Write it in his diary. As he goes into school he can have the diary open at that page to show the checkers on the entrances. If he gets there as soon as the doors are open he will have time to look for them. If he gets put in isolation he can again show his diary. They are sticklers for correct uniform here and children are put into isolation for wearing trainers.

sproketmx · 20/09/2015 12:02

We don't have that here. There is a uniform but it's not a strict policy. Mines has raked out trainers, black breeks, a polo shirt and a tracksuit top for tomorrow. I'm just impressed he's organised and intends to go tbh

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