AIBU not allowing sleepover

[vdbfamily]

My 12 year old DD has a friend in our village that she sees most days and has already seen today. She asked this evening if she could sleepover at friends house and I refused. I said that I was ok with sleepovers in holidays or for a special occasion but not just randomly in the middle of termtime as she often returns tired and grumpy. I said she could go and see the friend this evening until 9.45 and that we would walk and meet her then. Apparently we are completely unreasonable and are ruining her life. She knows of no other parents in the world who would refuse their 12 year olds a sleepover whenever they wanted. So...wise Mumsnetters, AIBU?

Well she's 12. It is the end of the world to her if you don't allow her to sleep over at her friend's
Sorry but as you asked I do think yab a tad bit u. Okay it's term time but it's also Saturday Night.

You need to be straight with your DD if you're going to ban sleepovers completely (on basis of controlling friendships & bunking off school aspects, I imagine).

I'd still say yes to the sleepover, even after extra posts about date rape boob job lesbian vs. straight sex tmi etc. Do you really think 12yos don't talk about that kind of thing, or shouldn't know about such things?

Shock gasp, kids on a sleepover are still awake watching videos at 11pm. Who knew?

Yabu, I take brownies away for weekends in term time, they sleep when they get home Sunday and are fine, and they're much younger than your dd.

the age is still irrelevant. it is her personality of needing to be liked and seen as cool that is the proble. I have a 12 year old and am a similar age but I am a mother and not a friend and find the tarring everyone with the same brush a little offensive tbh.

Also we have sleepover on the weekend and trying to get them to sleep before 12 is usually not achievable. Must be because I'm a young Mum though!

Ffs drip feed massively.

Your call OP, but I think I'd restrict access to that scenario. Picking up around 10pm seems a good compromise.
Normally I'd have said sleepovers on a Saturday night are great, but with the other considerations I'd say not a good choice!

The woman's age isn't relevant. The fact that she thinks it's ok to have to converstations with someone else's child is.

I am 30 have an 11 year old and would never talk about those things with someone else's child.

Yabu about the new friends. As I said my dd is 11, it is hard when they go to secondary. It's not the same, you don't know all the parents and other kids are given more freedom.

Imo, you sound a bit over protective. So what if their dad is in prison, or the mother isn't there to say hello to?