About wee on the seat?

[caledonianclown]

DSS is 6 and had never been entirely reliable on the toilet department. He always leaves it till the very last second before he needs to go, and if anything gets in his way once he's on his way then he wets himself. This can include a closed door which is usually open or a popper on his trousers which needs to be undone. Even if he does make it to the bathroom in time, he doesn't even have enough time to lift the seat before weeing. This means almost every time he goes to the toilet he leaves wee on the seat. I'm fed up of having to wipe up after him every time I go to the toilet, I'm the only female on the house (which include DP, my DS 7 and 15 month old DD) so it's always me who has to clean it up! DS will just sit down in it and DP just doesn't seem to notice!

I know it's him weeing on the seat because it only ever happens EOW when he is here.

I think we should take DSS back to the toilet every time he goes to do a wee check, and get him to clean it up himself in an effort to stop it, or persuade him to go 10 seconds sooner in the first place so he has time to put the seat up. DP thinks I'm making a fuss about nothing. So, AIBU to expect DSS to clean up his own wee??

Of course he should wipe the seat.

NYANBU , if DP doesn't think DSS should do it, then DP should do it himself. My DS is older now, but when he went through a stage of not lifting the seat, I would make him come back and sort it out.

You aren't being unreasonable - I had this with my dses (I think ds2 was the worst culprit, but I can't be sure about that) and I had years and years of having to check carefully before I sat down. It did get better, and now they are grown up (18, 20 and 22), I can sit down without looking.

Might it be worth leaving the seat up on the loo, for the moment - until it all becomes a bit less urgent and hurried for him? It depends - I might be happier putting the seat down when I wanted to use it, and up again afterwards than mopping up wee.

Or you could take him to the loo and get him to mop up each time - in a 'if you make a mess, please clean it up' way, not a cross or punitive way.

YANBU. Our nearly 5 yo DS has been wiping hus own sprinkles up since he started weeing standing up two and a halfish years ago.

Your DSS should definately be clearing up after himself.

Yes, Yes at 6 he should be taught to be aware of when he makes a mess and to clean up after himself whether its in the loo or pouring himself a drink. At this age he will soon be using public loos himself, will be using school loos etc. He'll also might be visiting friends soon and he should tidy up if he makes a mess.

ds(11) has a friend who leaves a mess on the toilet seat, I know its this one boy and check every time he goes, if he leaves a mess he is politely asked to sort it out. Something his parents should have taught him years ago!!

No yanbu, call him back and make him have a look at what he's done and ask him to clean up. Do it till it sticks, it's important for him to learn this.

YANBU. As SDTG said, do it in a matter of fact way, not as a punishment and show complete confidence in his capability to do it.

A big sign over the loo might help as a temporary measure.

My son was like this. I always made him clean it. I didn't give him a telling off for making a mess, he couldn't help it, he had very little warning sometimes, but i did tell him off for not cleaning it up. It's basic respect.

My grandma had a sign in her loo

"If you sprinkle while you tinkle,
Please be sweet and wipe the seat"

Maybe you could put up similar?

There was also one that said
"Ladies, please remain seated during the whole performance.
Gentlemen, please stand closer it may be shorter than you think"

Has he been to the docs? When I was young I had virtually no warning I needed a wee. It would be "ooh I need a wee. I need a wee NOW". I developed a habit of just dropping and sitting on my heel to stop myself weeing. I underwent investigations (which i remember vividly involving standing up and peeing in rubber pants after drinking a horfible drink, whilst being x-rayed). It turned out I had a vesicoureteral reflux which meant I had kidney and bladder infections almost constantly. Very easily treated and once it was I began to be able to hold it in. I think I was about your son's age when it started (but it's quite a long time ago now!).

Oh and YANBU to expect him to clean up, but I would be looking at identifying the reason behind the need to clean up too.

I put a not entirely polite note in our loo because DS3 s 14 year old friend seemingly has Piss-Wipe Fairy living in his house so has never learned to clean the rim, the back of the loo or the floor after he's been. Lord knows why he feels the need to wave it around like a bloody sparkler in there but the note did the trick.
Nip it in the bud now OP

YANBU to expect it, but as a mum of 2 boys (10 & 15) and a DP who swears blind it's never him I'm afraid you might be in for a long wait if you want him to improve his aim!

I have tried everything, making them clean it up themselves, putting a mat down, putting a ping pong ball with a target drawn on it in the water to aim for, writing passive aggressive notes in dry-wipe pens on the underside of the seat - I've even threatened to put a photo of my face (or of something they DO actually care about!) around the edge of the loo so that they can see how disrespectful they are being expecting me to clean up after them when they pee all over it!

Nothing has worked so far, so I just have to keep sending them back in to wipe it up and of course they will swear it wasn't them and act all hard done by for having to mop up 'someone else's' wee. Filthy buggers.

What did your note say Curtains?!

YANBU, DSS (8) does exactly the same thing. After getting a wet bum for the second time, I called him into the bathroom, pointed out what the issue was and explained that it wasn't my (or his Dad's) job to clean up his wee which only goes everywhere because he avoids holding onto his penis when he wees so he doesn't have to wash his hands .

He's getting better. Repetition helps!

"....felt the need to wave it round like a bloody sparkler in there..." - that did make me smile, Curtains!

Some of these have made me snigger thanks everyone! I have pointed out to him how it's not my job to clean up his wee and how horrible it would be if he had to sit in my wee but I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall as it doesn't seem to make any difference! I don't know what he does at his mums but think I will get DP to ask so we have a joined up approach. At least it's better than when he used to wee on the floor and just leave it there so I could walk through it on my socks!

At 6 he should be wiping the seat tbh. Even at 4 he should have been doing it.

My note said -

Please don't piss on the toilet seat or on the floor. Aim it into the water and if you manage to miss, clean it up.

With a nice PA smilie and a xxx underneath.

But I knew exactly who the culprit was and took it down after he's been round a day or so later. No problems since.