I am massively overweight. BMI is about 42. I have been overweight for most of my life but have got much bigger after 2 babies, trouble conceiving, depressions etc.
Once again I have failed to make changes. This week I managed 1 gym visit and 3 days of healthy eating. Binged tonight on take away and huge amounts of chocolate as DH was working late.
I thought I would be able to do it for my children as I don't want to die and leave them. I want to run in the parents race instead of sitting there like a blob and letting my little ones down.
But I just can't do it. I am addicted to sugar and sweet things. I am an emotional eater. I eat when happy and when sad. Binge eating is now so ingrained I don't think I can ever change. I tried the Why Weight programme during and after pregnancy but failed and gave up. Tried all the slimming groups. Think it's surgery next but again I'm scared of dying from it.
What on earth shall I do 
AIBU?
To ask for help. I'm so overweight and I don't want to die
Piratepete1 · 17/09/2015 21:44
If you break down crying; you break down crying. The doctor won't judge you - if anything, they'll see just how badly this is affecting you.
A binge isn't the end of the world. It's a chance to have a fresh start, a new outlook and a positive mental attitude. Don't see the binge as the start of a downwards spiral, see it as the end of it - it's the start of the climb back up.
Different things work for different people. Some people benefit from diet plans. Some people benefit from smaller portions. Smaller portions has never worked for me, as I snack instead - so I go for fasting. For other people, fasting doesn't work as they just go crazy as soon as they break the fast. You have to find what clicks for you.
Online shopping is brilliant for restricting what's in the cupboards - there's no opportunity to just grab random snacky bits that you happen to see. Do a healthy online shop and stick to it.
If you have a wobble, think of your kids. Think of playing with them; of their faces when you run the parents' race. Sometimes the wobble might be too much, and you might binge, but that doesn't undo the work you'll have already put in. Every day of healthy eating is a step towards a better, healthier life. Every time you pick something healthy rather than junk food is a positive choice that you are making, not just for yourself, but for your kids too.
No judgement here, just hand-holding and the best of wishes for you 
Great advice from Allbymyselfagain.
One slip does not mean you are off the wagon permanently. Like others have said, we've been there too and know all about it. Don't berate yourself, love yourself. You are on the right track with one or two detours. I was sick of being called a fat cunt by my own family and made up my mind: never, ever again. I would eat three large servings of fries, two quarter pounders, three McFlurrys and a whole batch loaf as a meal. If I can be of any help, PM me love - I'm here for you 
My bmi was 50 
gastric bypass has got me to a normal size. I still have an eating disorder but I'm no longer fit to burst.
it's so horrendous facing the amount you have to lose that I couldn't do it alone
I am so sorry you are feeling so bad ((hug)) Have you heard of the wine sampling method? Basically it allows you to sample whatever you like (obviously not wine in this case but it could be if you drink to excess too) but you don't swallow iyswim.
And because you don't swallow you'd need a receptacle next to you which you empty afterwards. While this is not something you'd necessarily want people to watch you doing 
it would help with the sweet cravings until you can manage them by willpower alone. So it is a stop gap solution. And you don't have to wait until you have a bucketful before emptying it, just a small bowl will do.
This way you can have whatever your eyes and heart crave but your stomach/waistband does not have to suffer.
Obviously it could be seen to compound the eating disorder but what often happens is that once you get used to the idea that you can have whatever you like, when you like, the novelty wears off. And chucking the contents in the sink or down the loo can start make you think a bit more about what you are putting in your mouth and how it's making you feel.
Then it would be a good time to rehaul your diet too, and only actually eat things that are healthy and nutritious. Humans need a surprisingly little amount of food, no processed foods at all and if you find you can't stick to 3 meals a day there is nothing wrong with being just a grazer and not having big meals at all. You'll need to make sure your diet is rich in veg, nuts, seeds etc for that to work well.
Good luck op!
I really feel for you and have been there. What eventually worked for me after years of yo-yoing was to stop wanting such drastic changes straight away.
Start with one small change. That change might be swapping sugar in your tea to sweetener but make the change and stick to it. The idea is that once you have gotten used to that then go on and change another thing. Swap full fat or semi skimmed milk skimmed. These changes feel so small you wonder why you are even bothering.
Weight loss is all about burning more calories than your body puts in. Every time you reduce calories in your diet even slightly you will start to lose. Who cares if it slow than a snails pace. As long as you are losing trust me the motivation starts to kick in at some point.
Because changes are slow they are almost unnoticeable and you are more likely to stick to them. Take our time with it and say away from the scale for a bit. There is nothing worse than obsessing about the number or trying to reduce it too quickly.
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You can change, or at least, you can develop coping strategies that will reduce bingeing. Before you do anything else, I'd really recommend working out your binge triggers. Keep a diary for a few weeks. Do you overeat from boredom, stress, frustration etc? If you dont address the urge to binge then no diet will ever really work.
I see this as a two prong strategy- first, you need to try to reduce the number of binges through either avoiding the triggers or developing alternative ways to cope with them (I know someone who used Candy Crush but she's now addicted to that so maybe not ). Then you need to reduce the damage you can do if you do binge by not having chocolate, coke, biscuits, crisps, in the house. Make it hard to massively overeat. Dont have a lot of food that can be eaten "as is" other than vegetables and boring stuff like plain breadsticks. If you need to cook it to eat it, it reduces the temptation massively.
If you can do these things, you may find that your weight drifts down without the need for "a diet".
Re cooking, I am really very untalented but I find the "easy" section of BBC Good Food quite helpful (their chilli is really good and freezes well) or I make really simple things like salmon/ chicken breast baked in foil with lemon juice, S&P and white wine or jacket potatoes with lean ham. I'd eat those with spinach (pierce bag and microwave) or salad. I also got a spiraliser and use that to make "courgetti" to use in place of rice or pasta for a bit of a lighter meal. Greek salad is also really easy to make. I guess I'm a bit "old skool" in terms of eating as I generally just try to avoid really high fat foods and sugar. Anyway, just saying that you dont have to be some amazing chef to eat healthily.
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