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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate hate hate the passive-aggressive question mark??

50 replies

OhForFoxAche · 17/09/2015 21:25

This.

Urgh, I hate it so much. A friend emailed me to tell me off for not having contacted them: "was thinking we could meet up and talk??" "I think it might be weird seeing you next week as we haven't spoken??"

Gives me the rage

OP posts:
Original poster
OhForFoxAche · 17/09/2015 21:26

I think it's because you can hear the tone of voice!

Hate it in a work context too eg "you refer to an attachment but I can't see one??"

OP posts:
IsabelleEberhardt · 17/09/2015 21:27

Don't you just hate when people end sentences in 'no', no? Or the lesser seen, but equally annoying 'yes', yes?

InTheBox · 17/09/2015 21:29

I didn't think it was PA, I didn't think much of it tbh but if anything it denotes a state of urgency.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 17/09/2015 21:30

Eh? Wink

Seriously, you're wrong. You are being asked a question..

Original poster
OhForFoxAche · 17/09/2015 21:32

Isabelle yes hate that. It's so bloody annoying, no? Grin Wink

Btw I don't think the question mark itself is PA. Just in certain contexts... I wont publish the email itself but you know when you can just tell, like if its a departure from the person's usual style...

OP posts:
Original poster
OhForFoxAche · 17/09/2015 21:34

Ha maybe only me then...

OP posts:
SwedishEdith · 17/09/2015 21:45

I don't mind "no" at the end of a sentence because I use it sometimes but what I really hate is the "You do know X is [something really bleeding obvious], right?" That horrible, superior, "right". I can hear exactly what voice is using that.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 17/09/2015 21:48

My nan sends me texts that just say "?" if I don't answer her original text promptly enough. Aaargghh. I love her to bits though.

PollyGone · 17/09/2015 21:49

There must be a market for seminars, or corporate weekend bonding sessions
for people to learn how to not to take offence at every opportunity.

Original poster
OhForFoxAche · 17/09/2015 21:50

This thread is lighthearted btw! No offence meant or taken

OP posts:
Original poster
OhForFoxAche · 17/09/2015 21:51

Ha Swedish yes! And a little smug laugh at the end!

OP posts:
Original poster
OhForFoxAche · 17/09/2015 21:52

ThisFence - I don't mind that so much coming from certain people but yeah I do know what you mean!

OP posts:
fastdaytears · 17/09/2015 21:55

I HATE this. I have one particular person who does this and will send me a text like "can you drop round [some book or something]??!" and I'm thinking God has she asked me that like 3 times and I'm ignoring it? But no it will be the first request.
I thought this was universally known to be weird and rude but I think from this thread it's just me!

Bakeoffcake · 17/09/2015 21:59

I too hate it, but worse than that is when No is added--->

"No?" Angry

PollyGone · 17/09/2015 22:06

My idea is that as infuriating as PA behaviour is, you can pretend to not even notice.

Hamiltoes · 18/09/2015 00:20

No its not just you I hate it too but I definitely do it!

Infact, I think I am guilty of the worst types of typing crimes. I also go into full ???!!???? mode when I'm feeling particularly angry.

And I put an x at the end of texts so much, that I actually get nervous if I have to reply to my boss, or the health visitor or something and I obviously can't end it with a x. But what if they think Ive fallen out with them ???????? Grin

partialderivative · 18/09/2015 00:39

This is why dadsnet gets so little traffic

JustMeOverHere · 18/09/2015 08:33

It's not as bad (in my view) as people that ask a question and don't use a question mark!

"Did you ask the school why."

"What did they say."

I know, I'm getting old! Blush

ReRegRhonda · 18/09/2015 10:09

I hate it when people do a 'yeah?' At the end of a sentence. 'See you at 5, yeah?' It sounds patronising and like they're expecting you to do the opposite because you're a bit thick. infuriating.

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 18/09/2015 10:15

My current pet hate (only seen it on MN) is the PA 'sorry', as in: 'You are a cunt and everything you do, say and think is stupid. Sorry.'

Rubygillis · 18/09/2015 10:30

My in laws seem unable to use any punctuation at the end of a sentence so it all sounds very terse and taciturn.

The boys look like they are having fun. Where were you. Nice weather I suppose.

shovetheholly · 18/09/2015 11:27

I have never even considered it might be passive aggressive. I will now have to revise my view of every email and text conversation I have had.

Mind you, I am shit at texting. Meant to send DH a text that said 'On my way - love you xx'. It actually said 'On my way - coxcombs??' I do not even know how that was possible. Clearly they were passive-aggressive coxcombs though.

Crazypetlady · 18/09/2015 11:49

I agre! Although I do it and as I rage as I am.
"So that's your answer huh???"(example)
The more question marks the angrier I am.
Only for a valid reason though

LadySheherazade · 18/09/2015 11:50

My husband sends me text messages and follows up within about 2 minutes with 'no comment then Wink'.

It infuriates me. I'm at work! I can't be replying to every inane thought that passes through your head DH! And no, I don't like getting sexy texts while I'm at work Hmm.

CrapBag · 18/09/2015 12:02

I'm with you OP.

A little while ago I saw a friend of a friend had posted something in FB thanking some people and tagging them. My friend commented asking why she hadn't been tagged with 5 question marks after! You can exactly see the tone she is typing in by this. She also did it to me last year when I tagged a friend saying it was good to catch up (as she moved away) and she was like 'what about me???' because she had been there, but she didn't move away so I can see her any time.

MIL does this to DH too when he doesn't respond quickly enough for her or he hasn't given the answer she wants.

It's always the needy people who do it I have found.