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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to try and dissuade DD from a Soft Play birthday party?

55 replies

PennyHasNoSurname · 16/09/2015 13:22

She turns four the week before Christmas, so who is going to have time to bring the kids?

The food prices at these places are a joke.

Im.not a People Person Grin

She will want the whole class to come, at Pre School, and her closest friends there change week on week.

But would an empty hall with our own buffet and party games be enough to keep a bunch of 3/4yos happy? At least with softplay (private room), I wont have to entertain

OP posts:
Original poster
PennyHasNoSurname · 16/09/2015 16:30

The softplay is a private one though - srt up in the leisure centre sports hall. So if I only invited ten kids thered only be ten there. The big "play factory" type softplay is 20mins drive away on an industrial estate and some parents may not be able to get there.

OP posts:
Original poster
PennyHasNoSurname · 16/09/2015 16:31

£4 is for the food. The hire of the softplay is £65.

OP posts:
MrsJorahMormont · 16/09/2015 16:37

Okay that sounds more standard and yes the food is a bit naff then for £4. Our local one is £30-40 to hire (depending on numbers) plus £6.50 per head but that's for hot food and a party bag.

MrsJorahMormont · 16/09/2015 16:38

It's annoying for you that it's a private one as our local leisure centre can be hired for £60 but then you can bring all your own food. Having said that it probably works out the same and far less hassle.

starlight2007 · 16/09/2015 16:43

At pre school..Yes regardless I would limit the numbers... AS others said half of them won't be with her next year. My Ds I can say only really made his proper friends when he was 7

yeOldeTrout · 16/09/2015 17:36

maybe soft play this yr & something more your taste next yr?

I like soft play, the less I have to organise the better.

greenfolder · 17/09/2015 10:01

In my experience, book the soft play. It always looks expensive, but trust me by the time you have bought food, decorations, paper plates, table coverings, worked out what to do for 1.5 hrs, bought something for adults to eat and drink, spent months fretting about it, then had to tidy the hall and clean afterwards (wotsits get everywhere), wrangled mini sausages out of the hand of the veggi child, dealt with siblings turning up, etc etc it will look like a bloody bargain

LadySheherazade · 17/09/2015 10:19

Soft play all the way here, but my boys are in a class of 10 (year 2). We did it this year and it was just so easy. I did the cake, we turned up. They did everything else.

However - the stakes have been upped! My three year old has been invited to a birthday party this Saturday which kind of makes me feel I should do a party for his 4th in October. However, he wouldn't get to choose the party - DH and I are the ones that will have to do all the work so ours is the final say!

LadySheherazade · 17/09/2015 10:20

green - 100% agree with you. IMO not having to tidy up afterwards is worth the price alone!

HearTheThunderRoar · 17/09/2015 10:43

Voice of experience here and I would defiantly recommend the soft play with inviting about half class, we did that for DD's 6th birthday and it was a big success. Everyone had a ball, didn't have to faff about doing party food, baking cakes etc. All got to burn off energy and there were no tears. The cost wasn't too expensive from what I remember, it was 10 years ago so things might have changed.

We did a whole class party at home (lucky we had a big garden!) for DD's 5th birthday, tbh it wasn't a nightmare but I would rather walk over hot coals than do it again. Tempers were fraught towards the end, there were tantrums and it was a total pain in the arse trying to look after 20 odd kids whilst organising food. I think the kids got bored after a while too.

AnnPerkins · 17/09/2015 11:52

DH and I took one look at a party organised in a hall and said 'No way is DS ever having one of these.'

Unless you actually like organising parties don't do it. There is SO much work involved, and so much expense that can easily get out of hand. You need structured entertainment or you end up with 20 kids running round and round a hall. If you don't pay an entertainer (they are good but they cost £££s) you have to organise the activities yourself - more work and more expense. And once you've factored in shopping, making the food, setting up and clearing up, you're looking at a day's work for a two-hour party. There is a reason why most parents who go this route do joint ones with others.

At soft play you know exactly what you are going to spend. You just turn up, drink coffee and chat to other parents, cut the cake and shove it in the party bags, distribute, thank for coming and go home again. All the other parents know the format. There are no surprises. Easy.

If you're not happy about the cost, go in with another parent, if that's not possible invite fewer kids. DS had his first party in Reception, he invited 12 friends out of a class of 25.

musicmaiden · 17/09/2015 12:16

Agree completely with AnnPerkins. Last Sunday I did a themed party at home for 8 of DS's school friends and it worked out fine, but it basically took all weekend, plus several evenings as well, to organise everything, and it was an exhausting 2.5 hours on the day (I am not really a big people person either!) Can't imagine having to do all that and then have Christmas round the corner too.

I've said soft play or bowling next year.

ThreeIsACrowd · 17/09/2015 12:22

My twopence worth as mum of a near Christmas child, I always opt for Nov. They just want a party, it doesn't have to be really close to their birthday and anyway, it's very seldom on the actual birthday as usually parties are at weekends.

lynniep · 17/09/2015 12:31

Do you have to do the food? Very few parents bother with food here anymore. The kids aren't that interested in anything other than cake. The most popular party option is bouncy castle play (in the local sports hall - its cheaper than soft play) and everyone gets a bit of cake and a party bag.

StrawberriCream · 17/09/2015 12:33

Soft play here is £170to hire extra if you want food. Honestly soft play you just turn up and have squash available, cake at.the end no need for food.

MajesticWhine · 17/09/2015 13:08

Soft play is so much easier than trying to entertain them yourself, or even hiring an entertainer. I did everything within my power to get DD to agree to a soft play party because she wanted a Frozen party (possibly the 20th this year). It was fantastic and everyone commented what a nice change.

Boobie2 · 17/09/2015 13:24

Am I the only one who would invite 5-8 kids over to my house for a birthday lunch/tea, a few party games (pass the parcel, musical statues, musical chairs), cake, then send them on their way with a small party bag?

ALemonyPea · 17/09/2015 13:30

Do you have any sport centres nearby that have soft plays inside them? If so, hire the soft play and do your own catering. Win win.

Figgygal · 17/09/2015 13:35

My Ds is 4 just befor xmas too and this is the first time we are not having a softplay party for him. the last 3 years we have hired our local one £45 for an hour so good value and did the last ones at 4pm on the last sunday before xmas as was close to his bday but late enough in the day that with sunday trading laws people will have done their shopping. We not bothering this year as planning on spending the money and going to Lapland UK instead but now the other ante natal babies parties are being booked in it is making me wibble on that and feeling miserable.

I would always go soft play, out of your house, kids entertained, no need for other entertainment or hire i.e disco or bouncy castle. Playbus might not be a good idea if weather is rank it is such a hard time of year to plan such things.

The option you have mentioned about local hall max 20 kids sounds like a good one if you can hire cheaply.

Figgygal · 17/09/2015 13:38

oh and we haven't bothered with food at parties so far other than cake. don't get me started on party bags at that time of year they are about to receive piles of toys they do not need plastic shite party bags I went super lazy last year and did selection boxes.

notquitehuman · 17/09/2015 14:37

Our local halls cost a fortune. Even the council run places would charge £75-100 for the afternoon, once you've factored in set up and clean up time. The local soft play costs £9 a head and includes everything but the cake - so there's no stress in the run up to Christmas.

Parties at home are nice, but if you have decorations up and cupboards already full of Xmas stuff then it's going to be a pain to then have birthday stuff going on too.

GreenShadow · 17/09/2015 16:17

No Boobie you're not the only one.
We only ever had small parties at home with a few friends invited for a few games and traditional party tea.

DisappointedOne · 17/09/2015 16:39

We not bothering this year as planning on spending the money and going to Lapland UK instead

I'd advise caution over using Xmas stuff to celebrate birthdays. DH has a birthday around Xmas and it wasn't until he met me that anyone made a fuss about it. His 3 brothers got desperate birthdays and presents etc. He got Xmas decs, Xmas wrapping paper and "joint presents" that were actually just the one he'd be getting for Xmas anyway.

It's one of the many reasons we don't do Xmas.

DisappointedOne · 17/09/2015 16:40

*seperate, not desperate!

CrohnicallyAspie · 17/09/2015 18:01

We found a groupon for a soft play party for 10, it was something like £45 (plus £1 per child for party bags) and that included a decent cold spread (3 types of sandwich, veg sticks, sausage rolls, crisps, cakes and biscuits) and jugs of juice.