To think 40 is fabulous and nowhere near middle aged - or am I deluded?

[thisissillynow]

I am nearly 41 and feeling fab. DC are getting older and more independent, DH and I have more time to ourselves and feeling more loved up than ever. I actually feel younger and more carefree than any other time. Every now and then though I remember my age and it brings these youthful feelings crashing down. I am worried the general public perceive me as middle aged and that is depressing. I want to be seen as young and attractive, but is the time for that over?

Middle aged is a state of mind.

Nothing to do with your actual age.

OP, I'm nearly 36 and I definitely agree with you on the fabulous bit. I think 40 used to mean old, frumpy, stuck in a rut but it sure doesn't have to mean those things now. Many well-followed and well-admired beauty bloggers and experts (Sali Hughes, Lisa Eldridge, Caroline Hirons) are in their 40s. It feels like a time when you're more comfortable in your own skin than ever before and maybe where you feel more comfortable with taking care of yourself.

As for middle-aged, I neither know nor care when that's supposed to start

40 is young!! Don't let the haters get you down

I agree. Am nearly 37. Not got kids to the independent stage yet though!

That's nice that you feel like that... but it depends on your definition of middle aged really...

Dictionary.com says "being of the age intermediate between youth and old age, roughly between 45 and 65"

So you have 4 years til you're middle aged :o

I'm 40 and I really don't care whether its middle aged or not - I feel old and knackered but from what you've said my kids are younger than yours! Plenty of 40 year olds have a clutch of preschoolers and a newborn, whilst others might have teens and others be childless/ free, so I don't think the feeling great and having lots of free time and being loved up bit has anything particularly to do with your age - some people will be at that life stage at 50 or older, if at all...

I'm in my 40s and this is the best I have ever felt. I'm happy, comfortable in my own skin and generally know which clothes suit me. My kids are old enough now that I don't feel frazzled by them, I'm not trying to still go out clubbing and am very content by myself/with family usually. I'm still quite energetic and the only thing that does get to me is my hair apparently thinks it's older than the rest of me and I'm battling grey hair!

40 was/is definitely middle-aged.

Middle-aged does not = worried, unattractive or depressing.

This:

How society sees women:
0-10 Child
10-20 Teenager
20-30 Perfect
30-40 Losing it
40-50 Past it
50-60 Invisible
60-70 Invisible
70-80 Invisible
80-90 Invisible

How society sees men;
0-10 child
10-20 Teenager
20-30 Young adult
30-60 Grown up
60-90 Mature

So yes, it's over for you. Bad luck being a woman.

(I'm joking obv. I think "young" and "attractive" need to be decoupled though, I'm sure you are indeed fabulous and good luck!)

Why does it matter to you whether or not you're seen as "young and attractive" by other people?

I've found that one of the best elements of getting older is that you no longer give a monkeys most of the time.

hesterton I haven't had a resurgence of anything I actually hate that ages are given labels and expectations, people experience being 40 in different ways - if you had your babies in your early 20s you might feel like the OP, if you had them in your mid to late 30s you might be in the full knackering flow of preschoolers (maybe with teens and pre teens too), maybe with the battle of trying to get back into the work force after time out as a sahm combined with the demands of young kids derailing you as you go along knocking back your confidence and meaning you are not cash and time rich at all... others might be ttc at 40 or ttc no. 2/3 with a toddler or 2 and maybe feel time is running out...

Age is just a number, but telling people they should be xy or z at age whatever is crap - whether its telling them 40 = middle aged frump or that its the prime of life and the best age at which a woman should have got her shit together and be glamorous, well off, loved up and successful and at her career peak (it certainly isn't for everyone).

I'm 50 and currently practising the splits ready for the new BodyBalance routine.

I was dreading 40 this year but I've slowly come to embrace it. I have friends in their mid/ late 40s that look amazing and better than they did in their 30s. This is possibly due to the fact that their kids are older and they have more time to look after themselves by keeping fit and eating healthy. What freaks me out is remembering my mum being 40 and thinking she was so old and wondering if that is now how others see me