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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put safety gates on every door in the house?

20 replies

littlelady3045 · 16/09/2015 10:26

DS is 3 and follows me everywhere! I just want to cook/poop/hang washing in peace without being used as a climbing frame, without having his bits dragged all over the kitchen surfaces and constantly having to tell him to be careful/get down etc. I'm going a bit insane... would it really be out of order to have the option to close him out of rooms??

OP posts:
DaddyDr · 16/09/2015 10:39

Don't think its gates you need, I think its the ability to say stop and no. If you ask him to stop he should.

Also, don't worry about constantly telling him to be careful. You cant spend your life monitoring him. A little scrape or a little pain can go a long way to teaching children right from wrong.

LoveAnchor · 16/09/2015 11:02

Yes it would Blush

RoseDog · 16/09/2015 11:05

At 3 he would be able to open or get over the gates!

Original poster
littlelady3045 · 16/09/2015 11:08

In a perfect world he would listen, but that's not the reality...

OP posts:
Original poster
littlelady3045 · 16/09/2015 11:08

Loveanchor why?

OP posts:
DisappointedOne · 16/09/2015 11:09

YAB seriously U.

Aoifebell · 16/09/2015 11:13

Yanbu I only have one gate and that's in her bedroom door for when I want a cuppa in peace in the lounge. She's usually distracted with CBeebies anyway but the gates a back up. I still have the fuckin dog following my every move though Hmm

Heathcliff27 · 16/09/2015 11:15

YABU why should he be sectioned off, at 3 he would most likely be able to climb over them anyway. Give him a job like holding the peg bag when youre doing the washing, let him set the table when youre cooking.

starfishmummy · 16/09/2015 11:20

Everywhere is probably a bit ott!! And will be a pain for you! Maybe better to pick one safe room downstairs and another upstairs if needed.
Our son has sn so we had one on the living room door so could confine him there if necessary. Times like going to the loo or cooking (he's a liability in the kitchen). Just used when needed and checked on him a lot

DisappointedOne · 16/09/2015 11:23

My DD was climbing up furniture, onto windowledges and jumping off the back of the sofa by 14 months. I wanted her following me not trapped on her own in a room

Original poster
littlelady3045 · 16/09/2015 11:40

Just to clarify, we live in a 2 bed flat, he hasn't got a gate on his room, only current gate we have is at the top of the stairs as you come through the front door. Am happy for him to have use of living room, hallway and his room. The kitchen is tiny and somehow he just takes up so much space! A gate on my room would hopefully reduce the smears he gets all over my bed almost as instantly as it's changes and would mean I could hang/fold/put away washing without the current obstacle course he is.

OP posts:
HackerFucker22 · 16/09/2015 11:42

We haven't use baby gates since DC1 was two.... We put a few up in the new place but haven't used them yet DC2 has just started crawling though

Surely a 3 year old can be bribed to sit still and give you some peace? Ice Age 3 is my current babysitter!! caveat to say I use it as sparingly as possible but alas it is watched a fair bit in my house

KevinAndMe · 16/09/2015 11:47

The kitchen is imo the one room where it CAN be helpful if it's tiny and having him around whilst you are cooking is just getting dangerous. I'm thinking you tripping over him/his toys whilst having the ketlle in your hand type of situation.

For the rest, it's part of having a child and he will have to learn that there are things he can do and others he can't. You will have to learn that things can't be done as neatly with him around 'helping' than when you are on your own. Or that you need more time. Or that some if the tings you thought were just a NO-NO aren't actually that much of an issue.

The other thing you have to take into acciunt is the fact that he might just scream for hours on the other side of the gate, climb the gate anyway,get to mischief in a nother room when you are not looking or just simply take much longer to learn not to touch x and y as he doesn't get the experience of being near x or y (which he would if he was in the kitchen/bedroom).

MiaowTheCat · 16/09/2015 11:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KevinAndMe · 16/09/2015 11:49

Of course, TV is also something that can be a life saver as long as yoou are happy with him watching quiite a bit of TV if you want him out of the way when you are cooking, doing the laundry etc...

autumnintheair · 16/09/2015 11:51

i dont blame up op, its a night mare isnt it! I cant do anything in front of toddler due to copying its a nightmare.

LoveAnchor · 16/09/2015 12:34

littlelady3045, I think it's too late for baby gates at this point, they are designed for children between 6months and 2 years. A 3 year old will learn to open it or climb over it very quickly, and it will not make your home a safer place for the child, to the contrary, it will introduce new risks!

Perhaps more time outside is the answer? Toddlers are very active and need a lot of running around, then when you come home your DS would hopefully be in a more of a mood to rest.

Hard time for you, I sympathize, but I just don't think that a baby gate will make any difference whatsoever.

MsTargaryen · 16/09/2015 12:39

I think it depends what your child is like for climbing. I still have gates for dd (3) on some rooms and it works for us.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 16/09/2015 12:41

My toddler is nearly four and has t figured out the last gate yet. There is hope! :o

Iheartjoshcharles · 16/09/2015 13:13

YANBU to want to. I had a contained room with a gate for DS1 for when it was needed. But at 3 he could get out.

The biggest breakthrough came when I was sick and we discovered cbeebies. I don't know how we coped without it.

Life with DS2 is much easier, eg, if i need a poo he watches Peppa Pig.

He doesn't watch loads of TV but I'm done with feeling guilty/worrying anyway!

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