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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Son's interview dilemma-whbu?

24 replies

Betarocker · 16/09/2015 09:23

My son is currently on the trip of a lifetime that has been planned for many months. About a week before he set off he was told about a job opportunity at a well known local company by his college trainer (he has just finished an apprenticeship) and he decided to apply for the position after being recommended by said trainer.

Last week he messaged me to say he has been invited to an assessment lasting four hours on Monday and then to an interview the day after and of course he is thrilled...but he only flies back on Sunday and Monday should be his first day back at work so he is worrying about how to approach this with his employers.

I've told him that honesty is the best policy and he is a very honest person anyway so it seems the right thing to do but he is fretting in case they refuse his request for time off. I really don't know what to advise him tbh. This job opportunity is potentially huge and he would be great at it so whbu to feign illness or be upfront and tell the truth?

OP posts:
Jemima14 · 16/09/2015 09:35

In most things I think honesty is the best policy is the way to go. However, when it comes to a situation like this I actually don't think it is the way to go.

If your son is honest with his present employer and they are not accommodating, he could lose out on this opportunity, and he could possibly even lose that job down the line if they know he is looking to leave. That is obviously the worst case scenario. BUT it is a possible outcome, so for that very reason, I would tell a little white lie & just go to the interview & call in sick for that day.

This exact thing bit me in the rear before, I think when there is a lot to lose, you have to look out for yourself. My two cents anyway.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 16/09/2015 09:37

However, if he does call in sick and is then seen he could also get in trouble at work for that?

Nanasueathome · 16/09/2015 09:39

Why not request an additional days annual leave for the Monday?

MaxieMouse · 16/09/2015 09:47

It's really no different than attending a job interview at any other point in one's career. You don't tell your boss you've got an interview unless you're approaching the end of a contract. Otherwise you take a day's leave.

Tootsiepops · 16/09/2015 09:49

Your son knows his employers best, so it's his call. It would not be the done thing in my workplace to indicate that you are looking to leave, so people would either ask for annual leave, or pull a sickie.

RuffWearer · 16/09/2015 09:50

He requests an extra day's leave.

addictedtosugar · 16/09/2015 09:54

He requests extra leave. Can say due to jet lag if he wants, but calling in sick after a big holiday would raise big questions at my work.

QueenArnica · 16/09/2015 09:54

I agree that being honest is the right thing to do but..... In this situation he runs the risk of scuppering himself. Could he tell his current employer that his flight has changed or he's made a mistake with his return date?

Seeline · 16/09/2015 09:55

If your DS has just finished an apprenticeship, would it not be expected that he would be moving on anyway?
I would invent something that cropped up on his trip that had to be dealt with on his immediate return and request an extra days leave if he can't tell the real reason - something got lost/stolen and needs sorting out with bank/insurance etc.

Betarocker · 16/09/2015 10:59

Thanks for all your thoughts and suggestions. Booking annual leave would be ideal but unfortunately he used them up for this trip so none left for this year. I think his current employer expects him to stay on after his apprenticeship but no terms/salary have been discussed. Hmmm still in a quandry but I'll have a chat with him later. Thanks everyone.

OP posts:
FindingNormal · 16/09/2015 11:03

Def honesty then given the current job haven't confirmed they want to keep him. The realisation that he's looking elsewhere will give them the kick up the bum to start talking contracts etc which is a good back up if this interview doesn't pan out. Good luck to him.

Sazzle41 · 16/09/2015 11:52

Could he 'miss' the flight back and so have the Mon free for the new opportunity .... and then go into work straight after ??

pandarific · 16/09/2015 12:41

I agree with the idea of 'missing' the flight - safest thing to do tbh.

ilovesooty · 16/09/2015 13:10

He requests a day's leave - unpaid if necessary.

Littlef00t · 16/09/2015 13:14

He's an apprentice coming to the end of his apprenticeship and his company haven't made firm plans to keep him.

I'd be honest, hopefully it'll give them the kick to value him and sort something out.

ilovesooty · 16/09/2015 13:18

Exactly. I can't see any reason for fudging or lying.

InTheBox · 16/09/2015 13:44

As he'll need both the Monday and Tuesday then tell him to be honest. Tbh it's not worth the stress of conveniently being 'ill' or 'missing' the flight. Having just got back from holiday - they'll see straight through that and if indeed they were considering keeping him on then lying would hurt his chances.

lushilaoshi · 16/09/2015 14:13

ilovesooty - not all employers will allow unpaid leave.

He needs to take the time off somehow without letting his employer know that he is looking for another job. My younger brother recently interviewed for another job and the potential new employer TOLD his current employer he was applying and asked them for a reference! My brother lost his current job and in the end was not offered the job he was interviewing for. Complete disaster!

Your son will not be rewarded for his honesty.

Betarocker · 16/09/2015 16:25

Lush that's terrible and what he is wary of.

OP posts:
kgov1 · 16/09/2015 16:36

I wouldn't lie as if the employers who are interviewing find out he called in sick, it may well put them off appointing your son. If I was your son, I would call the current employer and request a day off. If they refuse, he could always call up and explain the situation to those interviewing and ask if there is any chance they could interview him at the start or the end of the day.

By doing this, he will show he is both honest and reliable which can only work in his favour.

KanyeWestPresidentForLife · 16/09/2015 16:40

I think 'missing' flight. Being bumped off because it was overbooked, cab to airport broke down etc, etc.

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 16/09/2015 17:26

Don't call in sick. Ask for two days unpaid leave to sort things out.

TheExMotherInLaw · 16/09/2015 20:06

kgov1 has given excellent advice.
If the prospective employers contact current employers asking for a reference, then it will be out of the bag.
Ask for a day of unpaid leave for personal reasons.
If not, the prospective employers might be flexible - you never know.
My dd had a job interview for this afternoon, but sent a text asking if she could postpone, as she was with her best friend at the hospital where friend's mum had just died. They replied to say yes, they'd reschedule.

lushilaoshi · 17/09/2015 09:09

I concur with kgov, too.

Also, prospective employers should NEVER contact current employers without the applicant's explicit permission.

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