To think DH needs to step up and discipline?

[Passthecrisps]

DH is really pissing me off .

We have a 5yr old and 3 other DC . The 5yr old has an awful attitude at the moment .

She's ungrateful , always wanting more , says unkind things to her siblings and if she doesn't get her own way , she cries a bloody awful cry , much like a baby

I asked her to take her bowl in to the kitchen . She replied "why do I have to do EVERYTHING and you sit there and do NOTHING!"

I told her to stop her cheek and take her plate in .

After teeth brushing it was time to leave for breakfast club . She stropped on saying she wanted something to eat (she wasn't hungry , she had ample breakfast - she does this all the time ).

I said no it was time to go . So she started talking to me like rubbish , real attitude , stamping feet saying I was mean , I never let her do anything yada yada yada.

She then flung the towels off the rail. I made her pick it up and told her there was no screen time tonight until she can show good behaviour .

All this time , DH was stood at the stairs , watching this , not saying a word . I repeated to him that there was no screen time , hoping he would back me up . He said "ok".

So obviously DD ran to daddy ; she wants him to do everything etc .

Rightly or wrongly , I retorted by saying I'm not doing anything else for her until she can speak to me properly .

DH is quick to say they are badly behaved but will do f all about it .

My kids think I'm mean and shouty and DH Is calm and fun. He's calm because he sails through life knowing I'll sort everything out

AIBU or should he have intervened when he saw the behaviour ?

Him distracting her might have helped but it sounds like you're shouting at her, she's shouting at you etc. Does she talk to your DH in the same way? If not, there could be a reason.

Yes, he needs to support you fully when one of the children needs to be disciplined.

However, this comes over as you constantly looking to discipline DD without finding out why she's behaving as she is. It sounds like she may feel the others are getting all your attention, especially if they're younger - are they? Can you get DH to look after the others whilst taking some time to do things just with her so you can try to get to the bottom of it?

If one parent is dealing with it, I don't think another parent needs to join in. But it shouldn't always be the same parent dealing with bad behaviour.

That's the issue . It is always ME dealing with the bad behaviour .

Admittedly it does get to the point where dd and I end up shouting at each other because she will not take no for an answer .

And I get exasperated because DH will be sat there and say nothing . At all.

I try to be firm with her and not shout but she goes on and on and on until I eventually shout .

It sounds like your DH is doing the "good cop bad cop" thing, leaving the discipline to you but still being a cool parent.
When you've got a quiet happy hour or two together, try having a semi serious chat about it just to get him on board and maybe reassess your joint reactions to bad behaviour. Something like "I love DD to bits, but she can be a handful sometimes, what do you think?"

It's early days yet, your kids are starting to test their independence/boundaries and you're probably reacting minute by minute rather than having a policy of acceptable/non acceptable behaviour for the future.

We've all been there!

I try to pick my battles but it's hard to pick when everything is a battle .

I praise her when she does something first time she's asked etc . Tell her I'm proud of her all the time .

It's the strop as soon as she hears no that I find hard to deal with .

At the moment there are a lot of strops and a lot of raised voices when we have to get out on time for school .

Has this started since school started? Just wondering if there is something going on at school if the majority of battles are before the school run.

What you should do is pass the buck it sounds tense a lot of the time roaring at them just winds them up when you are at the point of shouting at each other you need to say to dad can you deal with this and walk away from her. When she says stuff like i do everything roll your eyes at her and send her with her dishes has she heard you say i have to do everything in this house sounds like she is copying behaviour.