To find this knowledge hard?

[badgergirl82]

It dawned on me today that no one really loves me or cares about me.

Please don't feel I intend that self pityingly, as I don't - it's matter of fact/realistic rather than otherwise - but just the same it's a bitter pill to swallow.

I'm wondering if anybody else feels the same? I imagine possibly I may be unique in this.

I don't think ur alone in this. I read things like this time and time again. Modern day life has a lot to answer for I think. I'm glad that round here where I come from things are different. We don't have big educations or high flying careers but we have people who matter. Friends and family nearby. A support network of a kind really and I value this above all

Yes, it is very easy to slip between the cracks in this world. But probably a good idea to turn this idea on its head, who do I love? What can I do for other people?

I think the same as you OP. Single, no friends and NC with shitty parent. No-one cares about me but that's OK - I'm still here. Sometimes get a bit glum on birthdays and Christmases but the rest of the time it's alright.

3littlebadgers - Had a heart attack and later a serious injury both at work. No visitors in hospital or phone calls etc. I can't share your view that everyone has someone who loves them. There are other things in life anyway.

Prole
I think being in hospital, especially at visiting time, can be one of the most lonely experiences when you have no-one to visit you

It's similar to the flight test that I use to check how cared for I am. Does anyone care that my flight landed safely? Does anyone care enough to check how I'm getting home from the airport? And I mean care enough to acknowledge that I've landed or to check that I've got a way to get home.

I've got friends but it's a surface level of care and love. And I've got the DC who care about me and love me but it's not the same as having someone to ACTIVELY care for and love me.

Badger, what struck me is more that you say you don't love or care for anyone - how has that come about?

I'm sympathetic - my life is extremely isolated at the moment, through circumstances not of my choosing - but I do also think that people without friends, or without many friends, tend to 'romanticise' the idea of friendship, family, and marital/romantic ties. All of which are fallible and impermanent.

What do you actually want?

There are lots of people who would care, you just haven't connected with them yet.

There may even be people who care about you, but you don't realise it.