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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU holiday plans?

41 replies

magicroundabouts · 14/09/2015 00:09

DH has been looking into booking a family beach holiday for next year. DC's will be 4 & 2 when we go. Thing is it isn't the kind of holiday either of us would book if we didn't have DC's and DH can get quite stressed out if things don't go according to the plan he has in his head ( not a great combo with young kids).

He thinks because there will be a beach the kids will automatically have a great time and was upset with me when I asked what else there would be to do. I said that I only want to go if he can manage his expectations i.e not strop when things don't go to plan (he has form for this).

He is now really pissed with me, as I am being negative and raining on his parade. He thinks he is organising a lovely family holiday, but I think it is too much pressure for the kids and it would be better to stay at home. So, AIBU and a bit of a bitch or was it a fair point to make?

OP posts:

Thefitfatty · 14/09/2015 08:28

We went to Bali when DS was just 3 and DD was 1.5 and my two loved it. They spent two whole weeks building castles and digging holes in the sand and running in and out of the water. They would even fall asleep on the lounge chairs for naps. It was fantastic.

Rainuntilseptember15 · 14/09/2015 08:28

It's not a choice between beach holiday and going nowhere!
I don't find beaches with small children as much fun as you'd think, you can't take your eyes off them (no book reading etc unless dh on duty!) and my small toddlers would run straight into the sea if given the chance. I don't like using random car seats either so have holidayed in the UK recently - ranging from campsites, caravan parks, hotels and holiday cottages. The latter being my favourite - and do think about what you will do in the evening, if you are all in one room it's not much fun!

WorktoLive · 14/09/2015 08:37

It's also not compulsory to only go to the beach or hotel pool on a beach holiday.

Most resorts have plenty of other things to do just like anywhere else like castles, museums, waterparks, walks, theme parks,whatever. Mallorca has a lovely little mountain train for example.

And they are usually cheaper with better food than those in the UK.

merrymouse · 14/09/2015 08:38

You sound more concerned about your husband 'having a strop' than anything else - and if he has form, your concerns are probably justified.

The children might have a great time, but it will be hard work - you can't take your eyes off them and they will need constant attention. Things won't go to plan, not because anybody has done anything wrong, but because that is life with a 2 year old and a 4 year old.

If you had a guarantee that your DH would be laid back and take things as they come, would you be feeling less stressed about the holiday?

Original poster

magicroundabouts · 14/09/2015 10:07

Thanks so much for all the replies. The issue I really have is with DH. The kids will have a great time, UK or abroad (thanks for all the suggestions by the way, will definitely look into those??) and to answer your question merrymouse I wouldn't be stressing at all if I knew he would be relaxed. He wants to go abroad because it is generally cheaper and the weather is better. He really does think that we will spend the whole time on the beach, no excursions, which I think may well happen, but I want the option of other things to do. This is what I mean about pressure on the kids, they have to enjoy the planned holiday i.e beach everyday and if they get bored (neither swims well yet) then he'll huff.

I probably am overthinking all of this. It is just something like this has always happened every trip we have taken. I think I need to look at booking this holiday myself that way he is just fitting in and I will feel more in control.

OP posts:

TheFairyCaravan · 14/09/2015 10:12

We took our two abroad from that age. They loved the beach and the pool, they didn't need anything else.

Cala D'or in Majorca is much nicer than Sa Coma, btw. We spent 2 weeks in Sa Coma once, it wasn't particularly nice, we couldn't wait to come home. Pollensa is lovely too.

TracyBarlow · 14/09/2015 10:19

I have three kids, 5, 3 and 1. We go on holiday by the sea every year but the kids aren't massively keen on the beach. I'd say we spend an hour or two on the beach every day and that's enough for them. It's not relaxing though, as other posters have said I find it quite hard work supervising around water and my kids would run miles down the beach if I let them.

I think you need to manage his expectations before you go. He sounds like a big baby himself tbh.

LaContessaDiPlump · 14/09/2015 10:30

With kids that age, you'll be alright flitting between beach and playground. I'd say a playground is essential.

There's a risk that he'll just sit and criticise whatever you come up with though, isn't there. And if anything goes wrong on the way then it'll be your fault and your responsibility to deal with it.

WorktoLive · 14/09/2015 10:54

Cala D'Or is a great suggestion. The beaches are 7? little coves so you can go to all the different ones on different days for variety and there's a land train that goes around the resort if it's too far to walk. Beaches are great, but you are right that you need other things to do.

I'm sure there will be play parks and, if you stay in a hotel, activities for the DCs and maybe slides and inflatables in the pools for them.

But I'm quite that your DH seems to be putting his requirements for a holiday before that of his DCs. Surely he wants them to have a good time?

Hoppinggreen · 14/09/2015 11:25

I would be bored spending every day on a beach and doing nothing else, plus you have to factor in the heat and making sure the DC don't get too much sun.
Beach holidays can be fun with DC but at that age not relaxing as you have to watch them like a hawk. As long as you have accommodation with a pool and do a couple of excursions it will be fun but if your DH insists on doing nothing but the beach then it will take to ably be a bit shit.
Sounds like you've got more Robles than a disagreement about where to go on holiday I'm afraid OP

Hoppinggreen · 14/09/2015 11:26

Robles? I meant Problems!!!

merrymouse · 14/09/2015 19:14

Holidays with children that age aren't really 'holidays' as most people imagine them. That doesn't mean it's all doom and gloom, but you really have to accept that it will be hard work and there will be limitations. It might be a making memories building sand castles and taking great pictures holiday and you might come home with loads of funny stories but it will not be a 'lying on the beach' holiday.

It's difficult to know what to suggest. You can't expect a 2 year old and a 4 year old to behave a certain way - it is the parent's responsibility to teach good behaviour, but that takes years and a 2 year old will do what a 2 year old will do.

Also, never mind lying on the beach, how is he planning to get there? If he can't see the funny side of toilet emergencies, travel sickness, delays and whining, international travel with children may not be for him.

Charley50 · 14/09/2015 19:43

I was going to suggest Cala D'or in Mallorca as well. We stayed right next to one of the beaches, they are very sweet and safe (as safe as the sea goes) for children. Where we stayed there was a few pools including kids pools and activities for kids if they wanted to. It would be lovely in June before the school hols.

OctoberCupcake · 14/09/2015 20:11

A bit of a wildcard, but have you looked at Jersey/Guernsey? A boat or plane ride away so still feels like going on 'holiday' but with British beaches (rock pools, crabbing, paddling, chance of rain) and certainly in Jersey loads to do for young families on non-beach days too. Familiar food/language/currency of course, if that's a consideration.

cestlavielife · 14/09/2015 20:21

Kids don't need to swim to enjoy a beach...paddling sandcastles etc ....let him organize this holiday go along with it then you organize the next one. Kids will be quite happy toddling round beach. If you both happy.
But book day time flights and short transfers.... even if more costly.

missymayhemsmum · 14/09/2015 20:27

UK, somewhere not too far away, with a pool, playground, and sandy/ rockpooly beach. Hotel or camping or chalet holiday. Plan the journey so you don't drive for more than 2 hrs at a time. Plan (and budget) a series of days- eg a few beach/ice creams/ bucket and spade/ seaside cafe days, (sunscreen and beach shelter), a woodland picnic, a trip to an animal park, and indoor contingency plans- aquarium or swimming pool or museum. That way if your DH becomes impossible you can bail out and come home, you're not stuck in a hotel abroad with a stroppy sulker and two screaming kids.

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