How does everyone else cope?

[AuntieMeemz]

I have a job that is just deadlines and pressure, No matter what I do, boss says I'm not doing enough and whatever I'm doing, she says something else is a priority and I'm not prioritising. I. am the scape goat and boss is a loud mouthed bully. I have been through all the correct channels, meetings with HR etc, all to no avail. I'm constantly and publicly harassed and ridiculed for mistakes, and when I point out they are not my mistakes, everyone just goes quiet! I make sure I accept when they are my mistakes, and make sure I learn from them.
I have a family and their needs sometimes conflict with work, but only in the sense that I need to take a few phone calls, or take some flexi time off.
I have tried to get another job, but not been successful yet. I need the money but so need not to work, and not to work in my current place.

No one copes well under sustained bullying- it'snot you, it's her.

Either, you KBO until you find something else, or you quit and find a way to make that work. Sounds shit, though.

keep applying for new jobs. Would it be possible to take a bit of time off - sounds like your very stressed.

Wish I could take more time off!! Will start looking for part time jobs again. I can't be a mum and do this job.

Could you work from home? Get out of the office for a period of time?

Well you got me thinking. I have begun on my life long dream to start my own business from home. If I can sell enough of my artwork, by next year I can just quit. After spending weeks looking and applying for other jobs, I realised my skills (such as they are) are out of date. I'm 54 and finding it difficult to get another job.
HR have lots of policies etc, which don't mean a thing. They side with boss. They even had Occupational Health do some assessing and they made recommendations but boss just said 'not possible'. They suggested wearing ear plugs!

Coud you try to detach? Ignore, don't take complaints personally, regard your boss as unwell so pity her or do as the Japanese have to do which is to basically wear a fake mask? Ie don't show your true feelings while at work, like putting on an act.

Or you could do the bare minimum? A complainer will always complain no matter what you do so simply stop bothering to please her.

Or you could tell her you are reporting her for bullying.

You haven't anything to lose!

I have seen a fair few office bullies completely change tack when they found the person they were tormenting was about to raise an official Grievance .... if you put up & shut up there are no consquences so of course it carries on. But a Grievance, now thats embarassing on many fronts, they may have previous ones so this makes them look bad with HR/their own manager, or even it its their first, its embarrassing and they will have to explain themselves. Its also a mahoosive blow to their huge ego.

Just let it be known to those that gossip that you have started documenting instances and do so , with old instances too as near to date as you can remember, with any supporting emails, as she might try to get in first and raise one re you....Unlikely tho in my experience, as usually the sheer shock that someone has dared to put their foot down, takes wind out of sails. Unless they are truly personality disordered, then you are in a whole different ball game and leaving is best, as trying to do battle with a sociopath at work is not recommended, been there done it. ( Her whole dept walked one by one and she got promoted sideways as was expensive and embarrassing to take to a tribunal).

It sounds awful. Could you see your gp and get some time off due to stress? It could give you some time to assess your new business venture