To expect better from the nursery?

[Redspottygranola]

DS2 (3.5 yr) was at pre school this afternoon and had some sort of accident in the garden( no one could give me any details) which resulted in a bruised cheek. A bit later he apparently became so sleepy he just lay down and didn't want any tea - according to one staff member. Another staff member said he did have some tea! Anyway, when I arrived at 5.45 pm he was asleep on a cushion in the managers office and had been for half an hour. It was very difficult to rouse him and he seemed very out of it when I finally got him up. He just stared into space all the way home and wouldn't talk which isn't like him. He did perk up once home, however, and has been fine since. I'm feeling rather cross with the nursery for a) not calling me when he became sleepy after having a head bump and b) just allowing a 3yr old to go to sleep after tea time like that. It could have resulted in him finding it hard to get to sleep at bedtime! Surely they should have called me so I knew the score? I am on maternity leave so I could have gone earlier to collect him. I'm seeing the manager again tomorrow and am wondering whether to say something or not. At the very least they should have called me when he tried to go to sleep on the floor, surely!? Or AIBU?

Yanbu. As an aside what time does your preschool stay open to? In my area they are only open in the mornings until 11.45am.

Not sure im getting the fact that a bump on the cheek was a "head pump" though? Children of 3 ish do get tired by that time if they've been up all day. Does he have a sleep before going? Or was he on the go all day?

I also have to say that pre-school is usually a morning thing. Children of that age become so tired early evening if they haven't had a a mid morning nap. Sending a child of that age to something until nearly 6pm isnt great.

Yanbu op I would also be concerned and wondering why you weren't informed earlier. I'd also be questioning the different and opposing information you'd been given. Definitely speak to them and find out exactly what happened.

As an aside, I think the op means a preschool in a private nursery. My 3 yr old dd attends a private nursery and in January will move into the preschool room when she qualifies for the 15 hours' funding.

She is there from 8am until 5.30pm when dh picks her up because we work during the day.

Sometimes she naps after lunchtime but more often than not now she doesn't and, although she's tired by hometime, she doesn't actually go to sleep until bedtime. Ds did the same until he started full-time school.

Sorry yes, what mumof said - private nursery with a preschool room. He does 2 mornings and 2 afternoons and hasn't napped in the day since before aged 2, unless you count dropping off in the car or the occasional snooze on the sofa! I can't get him to actually go to bed during the day. I do endeavour to collect him closer to 5pm on his two afternoon days but the only time I can arrange play dates for DS1(5yrs) are when DS2 is at preschool due to car seat space issues (I also have baby DD) and so then I drop DS1's friend off at 5.30 after tea on the way to collecting DS2. That's just the way it goes sometimes. Anyway not sure why I am defending leaving DS2 at preschool/nursery until near 6pm! Lots of people do this regularly surely! I will speak to them today and ask to be informed if he gets this tired again so I can rush through to collect him.

Yanbu to be annoyed but surely in that situation you took him straight to A and E if you were so concerned?

I kind of agree with Sirzy that if you were that concerned with the injury you would have had hin checked out. You didn't so obviously felt it was something that didn't require it.
Also time scales are important here too. You said he'd been asleep in the managers office for half an hour. If he had seemed fine after his fall I can see why they didn't call you. If he had started falling asleep around 5 Ish when you've said yourself you usually pick him up I'm not sure phoning you at that point would have been very helpful either. They were expecting you any moment and possibly took the view you would be there very shortly and we're probably in transit anyway so would just speak to you when you got there.

It is hard when your child hurts themselves I'm someone else's care but you do sometimes have to look at how you would have handled the same situation. If it seemed like just a bump when it happened they may not have seen the need to take further action at the time.

sirzy I was getting concerned as he seemed so out of it on the journey home - however I wanted to at least get DS1 and DD home for DH to get them to bed before taking DS2 I A&E if he needed it. As I said he perked up as soon as we arrived home.
youmake yes the times aren't adding up for me either tbh - he had a bump at some point in the afternoon which they treated and then he went back outside. Apparently he then became very sleepy at tea time which is 4pm and lay down on the floor in the main room. One person said he was too sleepy to eat tea whilst another said he did he some tea. From that point on he seemed to be trying to sleep and the manager decided to bring him into her office I guess somewhere around 5. They said he'd been fast asleep in there for about half an hour when I arrived at about 5.45. So the sleepiness thing seemed to have started at around 4pm which is when I think they should have called me. Anyway I will try to make sure they do call me in future if he gets this tired again.

I agree with those saying if you were that worried you would have gone to a and e.

I get that you would have liked them to tell you sooner, but they weren't to know this. Most parents of children jn private nursery are working and have probably asked not to be disturbed unless absolutely necessary. I agree if a child was sleepy after a head injury this would be a cause for concern but you obviously weren't that concerned yourself as you didn't go to a and ee.

I'm afraid you lost me at "he might have been unable to sleep at bedtime". This is hardly a major calamity in the great scheme of things, and unlikely to be the nursery's main concern.

I know all my dc have sustained injuries where I've looked at them and thought I should have noticed that happening. Come to that I get bruised sometimes and not know where it has come from.

I think they made a judgement call and it is a lot easier to see what could have been done in hindsight.

A bumped cheek is not the same as a head bump but one assumes they would have had him checked by a first aider. Sleepiness on its own might not have been a concern if he was behaving normally and was showing no other signs of concussion.

Yanbu at all, very wiring. I woukd have taken him straight to A&E, sounds unusual.

I know kids get bumps and bruises all the time, but the fact that nobody can give you a straight answer on what happened would set alarm bells ringing. DD1 came home from nursery with a huge bite mark/bruise on her shoulder when she was 2. Nobody could tell me what happened and said that it can't have hurt her as otherwise they would have gone over. DD said she cried a lot when it happened and was clearly upset by it hours later. We took her out of the nursery. A couple of months later, we drove past the nursery and she started crying saying she didn't want to go into the place.

I can understand your concern, OP. Sleepiness after a head bump is something they should have been monitoring. When you have your meeting with the manager ask which staff have an up to date first aid certificate, ask what their policy is with regards to head bumps (however minor they may appear). Suggest that in future parents should be informed about head bumps and any treatment given.

At our school (primary) we have a policy of informing parents of children who had had a head bump (however minor) by phone. We explain what we have done to treat injury (ice pack, monitoring etc) and further tell parent that their teacher has been informed and, should child become unwell during the rest of the school day, we will call them. 99.9 % of the time there will be no problem, but concussion can happen and staff need to be aware and take action if they suspect it has happened.

I think that you could have popped along to your GP or A&E for a check yourself if you were concerned after picking DC up, but that does not excuse this seemingly lax procedure at the nursery.

Hope you can get it sorted to your satisfaction, OP.

So was there a head injury? I thought it was only a bruised cheek. We wouldn't go through the head injury procedure at our school for a bruised cheek. Just record it and inform parents at the end of the day.

Bo, the OP explained she had been told about "some sort of accident which resulted in a bruised cheek" but no one seemed to know exactly what happened. Drowsiness observed in a child after this "incident" is a cause for concern.

If the child fell and hit his head then banged his cheek and wasn't seen doing this, the staff would only see the bruised cheek and deal with that. The child is too young to explain about a head bump (which would be hidden by hair). Therefore unexplained drowsiness after the bruised cheek incident should have been flagged up.

No I don't agree. There are lots of ways of bruising a cheek that wouldn't involve a head injury (mine mostly got them from collisions with other children or objects) and it would be bonkers to call parents every time a child got an unexplained bruise 'in case they'd hit their head as well'.

It was as stopfaffing has said - no could explain what happened. Of course I wouldn't have expected a call just because of a knock but the sudden sleepiness is very odd. I don't think they should have bedded him down in the managers office like that without checking with me first either. Anyway he is fine and I have instructed them to call me straight away if he gets sleepy like this again so I can hopefully collect him!