Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Feeling sad about youngest DC's first school day

19 replies

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 10/09/2015 20:41

Today was our youngest's first day at school. I was feeling emotional as he's our last child so it felt especially poignant, but also excited as he couldn't wait to go and it's a lovely school. When we arrived it turned out that his regular teacher was absent so I was a bit thrown as I'd previously had a chat with her about a potentially delicate issue so I proceeded to have a quick chat with the stand in teacher to make sure she was aware of everything. My DH was stood behind me and I could literally sense him trying to rush me away from the door (I was speaking to her for less than a minute). He then said, 'Right' before I'd even finished speaking to her in a closing the conversation down type of way IYSWIM. I ended up feeling rushed and stressed and what I'd hoped would be a special morning just felt like a bit of an anti-climax as I didn't even get the chance to properly say goodbye to my DS or give him a hug.

I did ask DH why he'd rushed me away but he just got defensive and denied it so we had a bit of a row thus spoiling things further.

AIBU to have expected DH to have a bit more patience and understanding and to feel a bit sad that we'll never get this day back?

OP posts:

WidowWadman · 10/09/2015 20:46

Emotional and tearful parents really discombobulated my youngest on her first day at school this week. She was fine until she saw the upset mummies milling around trying to catch glimpses of their precious little ones who had already gone in through the windows.

When her big sister started school her teacher thankfully had the presence of mind to shooh away parents who didn't leave and fussed around. Made it much easier for the kids.

Original poster

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 10/09/2015 20:58

I get this Widow but I honestly didn't fuss around and I wasn't particularly openly emotional either, I just didn't want to feel dragged away as though I was fussing around IYSWIM and the teacher certainly didn't seem to think I was.....

OP posts:

Princerocks · 10/09/2015 21:01

Yanbu. I dread my youngest's first day of school. End of a lovely era.

SideOrderofChips · 10/09/2015 21:07

But insisting on speaking to the teacher and hanging around is fussing. I've just sent DD2 off to school for the first time. We went in, put her stuff where it was meant to be. She came to the door, held the teachers hand, waved goodbye and blew a kiss and then went to play. DH and I left.

Yes you never get it back, but it doesn't need to be a big fussy thing with the kids. If your DH is anything like me, he probably thought that the normal teacher knowing this issue was enough and didn't want all the other parents also hovering to tell the teacher about delicate issues their children might have, hearing.

Original poster

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 10/09/2015 21:17

Perhaps SideOrder but the usual teacher was absent for the whole day and the issue was quite important, to us both I might add, so i didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Of course I accept other's viewpoints though, but yes Princerocks it is the end of a lovely era

OP posts:

CarpetBagger · 10/09/2015 21:21

nice widow!!

its parr for the course really, i will also be a mess of jubilant and also dreadfully bereft when my youngest starts.

its what I did at nursery - peer through windows and its what i will do again.

But insisting on speaking to the teacher and hanging around is fussing

did you miss the part on the op when she said she had a delicate matter to discuss? so i think she needed to hang and fuss?????????

CarpetBagger · 10/09/2015 21:23

God what utter bitches ^, op I think more sympathetic people will be along soon glad you got over the first hard day, I will probably need an ambulance on my last ones first day.

Its an end of an era and so much more isn't it.

CarlaJones · 10/09/2015 21:30

Ambulance ??

CarlaJones · 10/09/2015 21:30

Gahh. That was supposed to be not ??

CarlaJones · 10/09/2015 21:31

Ambulance

Original poster

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 10/09/2015 21:41

Thanks Carpet. Yes end of an era indeed. Felt quite lost today without incessant chatter/CBeebies! Also mourning our lovely little days out together already, sigh.

OP posts:

BlackeyedSusan · 10/09/2015 21:41

sometimes teachers need to know stuff. I would rather have had little johnny's mum remind me that he needs the loo every thirty minutes than risk forgetting in the mele of the first day and then getting to mop up wee or poo. Most reception teachers have seen it all before and know it is a big deal for parents and children.

ijustwannadance · 10/09/2015 21:48

Did your DS have a great day? I assume so as you haven't said otherwise. I also doubt he gave a toss that he didn't get a kiss or cuddle. Was happily just getting on with things.
My point is that your sons first day, to him, was a happy one. That should be what makes you happy and proud and remember you gave him the confidence and ability to do that.

If it makes you feel better, my DD's first day this week, teacher said I could stay a while. DD told me to go home! No kiss or cuddle. Just told to go.

Sirzy · 10/09/2015 21:52

Some people are being very harsh here. Sometimes parents have no choice but to talk to teachers about things, especially if it is an issue that the teacher is completly unaware of.

Original poster

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 10/09/2015 21:58

Thanks Black & ijust. Nice to hear sympathetic views from a teacher and yes he did have a great day ijust thank you . I'm sure he didn't care either, he was full of it at home time, mainly about his roast dinner and chocolate pudding, and his big brother & sister had looked after him too. All good I think, thanks again both .

OP posts:

Original poster

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 10/09/2015 22:01

Sirzy posts crossed. Thanks .

OP posts:

OwlDoll · 10/09/2015 22:30

Oh OP it's awful isn't it?
My youngest started this time last year and didnt want me to bring him to school the first day. He wanted to go on the school bus with his brothers So I put him on the bus and went inside and cried for most of the morning. It was really hard to get used to the quiet after 13 years of always having a child in the house (I have 6 dc). for you OP.

Ledkr · 10/09/2015 22:53

My baby started on monday but was so excited and funny with it thst I couldn't feel sad.
I work part time and my eldest is 30 so I am actually looking firward to a bit of time to myself and getting my house up together.
I'm excited to see how she does and what new friends she makes but yes I will miss not having her around

Original poster

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 11/09/2015 09:46

Thanks OwlDoll . Wow youngest of 6, that must've been a wrench! Actually it made me realise that, apart from 6 months between DD starting school and DS2 being born, I've had a child at home for almost 11 years myself.

I know what you're saying too Ledkr, my DS was really funny and excited too so that did help how I felt. He said that his bath the night before would 'ruin' his 'hairstyle' as he'd just had it cut ready for school . I've also just been looking at some photos in the classroom window of their first days and he's on loads of them clearly having a great time. I too am looking forward to some time to myself and trying to sort the house out a bit - didn't do much yesterday though!

Thanks guys, your posts have really made me feel better (most of them anyway ) especially what you said ijust . I just couldn't help being irritated by the rushing away of my DH but I guess when Dad's are at work each day anyway they don't feel it in quite the same way .

OP posts:

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread