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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Anxiety?

13 replies

Alb2015x · 10/09/2015 15:22

Hope I'm in the right place. I feel so stupid.
My problem is one of many. I'm scared of being at home on my own, I'm scared of going out by myself, I'm scared of going out then having to re-enter the house by myself, which makes going out alone impossible. I'm scared of speaking to people, and of what people think of me. I am a mother to a 3 year old, and pregnant! My partner has just got a job so I'm alone all day by myself with my son, he gives me the courage to walk around the house and be brave because I have to. Once I come downstairs, I can't go back up until my partner returns from work. I can't shower or bath until he comes back home, I can't answer the door, and as I have stated, I can't go out. I feel trapped in myself, I feel so low, not confident and overall like I should not be a mother or a human because I'm so soft. My boy has to start nursery soon, and I know he will love it, but I can't, for the life of me, step out the front door and re enter again. How am I going to take him to nursery when I haven't the strength to make myself do it. It's stupid I know. I'm terrified of people hurting me, I often think of stupid thoughts, yet the fear of someone killing me is still ruling my life. I have no friends and no family were I am, just me, my partner, and my son and bump. So I am all alone, my partner doesn't understand how I feel. I find it hard to be happy, often crying threw out the day, and trying to smile at night. I love my family with all my heart, there not the problem, its me! I really need to speak to someone properly, but talking to strangers is obviously, a no go for me! I'm stuck in a hole that I can't get out of. Im not really sure why I'm posting here, maybe hearing someone else who's like me would help a little I'm not sure. One day I hope to change! I need to change!

OP posts:

RachelZoe · 10/09/2015 15:28

You need to go to the doctor, your GP can help you with this, explain what's going on and refer you for talking therapies. There is lots of help out there for this. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 10/09/2015 15:38

Watching with interest as I get these fears too.
Not quite as isolating as yours, but I don't like being in my house alone either.
Do you have friends locally? Or at least "friendly parents of similar aged children to yours"?
Can you visit them for an hour, the hour before your dh gets home?
Gradually work up, a bit longer each time.
Will somebody meet you in the park? Then you can invite them back for a drink (they don't need to know why!)

wfrances · 10/09/2015 15:44

im like you but with a diagnosis of severe ptsd ,severe social phobia and severe agoraphobia.
i see a psychiatrist as i cant function.
you will need to see your gp first as he will be the gateway to the help you need.
has anything happened to make you so fearful or has it just built up?

Original poster

Alb2015x · 10/09/2015 15:47

I have no friends, no family. Literally alone with my partner and children. He's okay as he has work mates thank god. There isn't really a reason behind it, its just built up and worsened. X

OP posts:

MetallicBeige · 10/09/2015 15:51

Do you think you could contact your GP and/or your health visitor? The GP can help with the symptoms, the hv can provide emotional support and also access support to help you through this tough period, perhaps somebody to accompany you to nursery to make it easier for you (home start are excellent for this), or even just to sit with your little boy while you have chance to have a coffee/shower.

Anxiety is horrible and the first steps to changing it are always the hardest, could you or your husband make the calls, you might feel better just for doing that (speaking from experience).

Gottagetmoving · 10/09/2015 15:53

Were you like this before you had your child? It could be PND that has worsened?
I had PND with my first and had no help. I sort of got over it but several years later I started feeling like you do. We did have some problems in our life at that time and there was a build up until I got severe anxiety. It was constant 24/7
My ex husband had to take me to the doctors because I couldn't go myself.

PLEASE get your husband to take you to see your GP and tell him EXACTLY how you feel. You cannot be 'cured' overnight but it will be the start of getting better.

Original poster

Alb2015x · 10/09/2015 15:54

Why would I say to the gp though? That's what putsme off going I feel so stupid and I wouldn't know how to start the conversation.

OP posts:

Original poster

Alb2015x · 10/09/2015 15:55

I think that having my son could have worsened it as now I fear for him to not just myself? X

OP posts:

Gottagetmoving · 10/09/2015 16:03

Why would I say to the gp though? That's what putsme off going I feel so stupid and I wouldn't know how to start the conversation

Just tell the GP you have come because you have a severe anxiety problem,..Tell him/her it is hard for you to explain and give him a list of things that are a problem ( write a list before you go and put EVERYTHING down)
Don't try to minimise it or make it sound less than the truth.

The GP will ask you questions and you should then be able to answer.
Your husband could go in with you.
You are not stupid so ignore the feeling and just say it,..you have nothing to lose.

TheMotherOfHellbeasts · 10/09/2015 17:16

I have had PTSD and I used to feel frightened of being alone in the house. We're not in the UK and live in an extremely remote area of South America, we have three giant guard dogs (who are absolutely devoted to us and who sleep at the bottom of our bed) and we have guns, both were what helped me to finally kick my fear of being alone. For me it was knowing that I could defend myself and our toddler which made all the difference. Is there anything you think would help you feel safer?

TenForward82 · 10/09/2015 17:50

Another saying go to the GP, say you have anxiety and need counselling. You can't function like this and it will affect your parenting (if it hasn't already). The GP will have heard it all before (and so will the counsellor).

HereIAm20 · 10/09/2015 19:24

If you feel you can't talk to the GP print out a copy of your post and show it to her/him. I think it would tell them everything they need to know. Hope you're feeling better soon.

WhoseBadgerIsThis · 10/09/2015 22:24

Hiya. I just wanted to send sympathy (anxiety sucks!) and to agree that the GP is the person to talk to. One in four people have mental health problems at some point, so it's a pretty common thing for GPs to deal with :)

Try thinking about it as you would any other illness, like a broken leg. There are certain things you can't do right now because of it, but it's not your fault, you didn't cause this, it's just a medical issue that you go to the medical professionals about and ask them to help you sort it. There are things they can do to help, and you won't always feel this way. Hugs!

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