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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

hate the expression boys will be boys

42 replies

caelacoo · 09/09/2015 20:16

This seems to be the excuse for the rough and tumble boys do...and when its a girl she's a tomboy.

Why can it not just be a child being rough who may need telling to calm down when too rough instead of referring to its sex?

OP posts:
PermetsTu · 09/09/2015 20:21

Because people spout bollocks. It's a national pastime.

Jw35 · 09/09/2015 20:22

Because boys are naturally more boisterous usually! It shouldn't be an excuse for bad behaviour though

Jw35 · 09/09/2015 20:23

Oh and YANBU

laffymeal · 09/09/2015 20:23

It's just a clich??, why let it bother you?

MagicalHamSandwich · 09/09/2015 20:23

YANBU - I hate it even more WRT teenage girls being expected to be the ones in charge of being responsible about sex because boys will be boys.

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/09/2015 20:23

Pisses me off no end. DD is the roughest, toughest kid in the class and needs a lot of reining in.

laffymeal · 09/09/2015 20:24

That was supposed to say cliche

RachelZoe · 09/09/2015 20:24

As the mother of 6 boys, I loathe this phrase, always said to me in some "knowing" way with a jolly grin whilst jolly grinners brats run havoc in the background.

Radegund · 09/09/2015 20:26

I can't put it better than Permets really

Radegund · 09/09/2015 20:30

It is just a clich?? - but to my mind if you add all those 'harmless' clich??s together you end up with a way of seeing the world that limits both boys and girls I may even now be engaging in said national pastime.

Radegund · 09/09/2015 20:31

Oops, bold fail...

Radegund · 09/09/2015 20:34

And 'phone being able to cope with an accent' fail. I'll get my coat...

QueenLaBeefah · 09/09/2015 20:37

Just an excuse for lazy parenting.

patterkiller · 09/09/2015 20:40

It's an excuse for some parents not to parent. Actually usually from the DH with the women giggling and rolling their eyes in mock exasperation. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

triathlon · 09/09/2015 21:02

YANBU. Generalisations are often not very useful.

whattheblazes · 09/09/2015 21:07

YABU...it's just a saying.

patterkiller · 09/09/2015 21:23

It's really not whattheblazes it's an excuse for poor behavior and bad parenting.

Girls run around throwing thing being silly and knocking children over peoplep

suchafuss · 09/09/2015 21:25

I disagree re 'its just a saying' IMO it has become an attitude, that of 'I can't be fucking arsed with parenting my boys responsibly and i will therefore deny they have the capabilty to act in a civilized manner'. Makes byblood boil.

LilyTucker · 09/09/2015 22:16

What exactly is wrong with rough and tumble?

sproketmx · 09/09/2015 23:47

I don't mind it. Boys compared to most girls are more rough and boisterous and I say that as a total tomboy myself but I grew up with 5 older boys. There are of course exceptions but for the most part rough and tumble seems to be inbuilt into boys.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 09/09/2015 23:55

QueenLaBeefah just no. It might not be the best turn of phrase but your response is a bit extreme.

SonceyD0g · 09/09/2015 23:58

But by letting them be rough and get away with it because they are boys are you just telling them that violence is ok? But only if you're male? Do they later go on to think they can push their partners around? After all won't it be ingrained in them from an early age because their parents never put a stop to it?
I don't have boys but I like to think if I had I would have treated them no differently from my girls and I would not let them engage in rough and tumble.

TheDowagerCuntess · 10/09/2015 00:00

There are of course exceptions but for the most part rough and tumble seems to be inbuilt into boys.

Or ingrained out of girls.

Fatmomma99 · 10/09/2015 00:04

Is it a PA way of a parent saying "your boy(s) are being more rough than I'm comfortable with around my girl(s) and I don't want to accuse you of being a bad parent, but I want this to stop...." ?

MartyrStewart · 10/09/2015 00:11

I have pulled up people on this before. It should be kids will be kids. I have a DS and a DD, and they are both exactly the same as puppies in that if you don't exercise them properly they will become destructive.

I agree with PP though that girls are socialised to think this is unacceptable more than boys. Now, where is my soapbox?