Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

neighbour having a go at me for "trespassing"

30 replies

ethicalsusan · 09/09/2015 19:29

I told me neighbour at the weekend I was going to cut my hedge and plant some new bushes and is it OK that I use his drive (as I could technically access from my own property but it is narrow).

He said yes no problem.

So today I cut and tidy the hedge from his side and put my plants in.

He's just come round and raged at me that I needed to ask his permission and I was trespassing and its not acceptable. Said a package he left on the has gone missing and asked if I had it. Also said that I'm not allowed to go on his drive again unless I ask in advance and hes in.

I just replied I did ask for permission, do you not remember the other day? Anyway I was far more polite than he deserved, just for neighbourly relations (he's a tit, I've had to call the RSPCA for animal abuse by him).

This is in the front garden, no gates or anything and he did say last year I was welcome to use his drive to access this strip of land that's mine.

Was ibu to do this? I thought I was uber polite tbh.

OP posts:
NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 09/09/2015 20:00

What did he say when you reminded him about your previous conversation?

whattheblazes · 09/09/2015 20:03

Go all Edward scissor hands and cut his hedge into the shape of a big willy and tell him that's a representation of the fact that he is a big knob Grin

UterusUterusGhali · 09/09/2015 20:22

Is he elderly?

CocktailQueen · 09/09/2015 20:27

Well, you've done it now so won't need to go on the old grump's drive again. Honestly. What a codger.

Did you remind him of your convo, and what did he say?

Original poster
ethicalsusan · 09/09/2015 21:03

Well I reminded him three times about the conversation, he just kind of ignored what I said and said something stupid back like "I wouldn't do it to you" and "your trespassing" so I gave up and ended the conversation. No wonder he couldn't remember it if he's not listening to me then.

Late 40s.

The ironic thing is I put some plants there to stop him from dumping his crap there, so if anything he'd been trespassing many times on my land. I just thought what a dick, cares about trespassing on his land but doesn't give a toss about trespassing on others.

OP posts:
Original poster
ethicalsusan · 09/09/2015 21:05

He did say to me last year that it was fine to use his drive to trim(presumed it wasn't a time limited o" and seeing as he'd been so relaxed about using my land I didn't expect him to be so nobish.

OP posts:
Original poster
ethicalsusan · 10/09/2015 07:09

Ffs he's put a bucket back on my land, will have to trespass to move it back!

OP posts:
Lweji · 10/09/2015 07:17

For one, previous permission doesn't mean forever. You should have asked this time.

Then, maybe consider a formal parting.

Finally, take the bucket and anything else he puts in yours and put it out for the rubbish men. Better still, make a plant pot out of it. Complete with hole at the bottom.

TenForward82 · 10/09/2015 08:02

I told me neighbour at the weekend I was going to cut my hedge and plant some new bushes and is it OK that I use his drive (as I could technically access from my own property but it is narrow).

You asked him recently. He must be getting dementia (or he's a cockwomble).

BMW6 · 10/09/2015 08:07

Can't you lob the bucket back onto his garden?

Queenbean · 10/09/2015 08:09

"He did say to me last year that it was fine to use his drive to trim(presumed it wasn't a time limited o" and seeing as he'd been so relaxed about using my land..."

So can I get the timeline correct:

You ask him to use his drive, he says yes

Then, you call the rspca on him about something

Then, a year later, with all neighbourly relations fractured, expect to use his drive again without permission?

I can see why he was grumpy...

MaddyinaPaddy · 10/09/2015 08:23

So did you ask him last year or at the weekend ? You seem to be contradicting yourself

charlestonchaplin · 10/09/2015 08:26

I don't think you need superior English comprehension skills to be able to understand that the OP asked her neighbour 'at the weekend'. She says so in the first sentence! Presumably the weekend just gone.

Bunbaker · 10/09/2015 08:26

He told her last year she could use his drive and at the weekend when she asked him.

fieldfare · 10/09/2015 08:28

I read it as she did both, asked him last year and then again more recently.

Sometimes people are just massive arses. In the grand scheme of things this is small, let it go. It's difficult to give advice without having a good understanding of the exact layout, but at least you've got the job done now and it won't need doing again until the end of the year.

Lweji · 10/09/2015 08:29

I do see the op contradicting herself. Her second statement undermines her first. Now I'm wondering if she presented the op in the best possible light to be right.

jeronimoh · 10/09/2015 08:29

He sounds awful! Is he purposely trying to wind you up do you think?

Bogeyface · 10/09/2015 08:29

He offered in the past.

She asked again at the weekend, he said yes.

Then he acts like a dick.

I fail to see what is so hard to understand.

OP, lob the bucket back and plant bigger bushes!

jeronimoh · 10/09/2015 08:31

I think that you should lob the bucket back as well!

charlestonchaplin · 10/09/2015 08:31

I don't see any contradiction. He told her last year she could trim her hedge from his side, but she still asked him 'at the weekend', like most normal people would. What is so confusing?

Bogeyface · 10/09/2015 08:31

Her second statement undermines her first

No, her second statement supports her first. "I asked him at that weekend , he agreed and then he said I was trespassing" "He offered last year" confirms that he has said more than once that she could use his drive which makes his accusations of trespass even more confusing.

YBR · 10/09/2015 08:32

by-the-by, he might have misunderstood what trespass is. I hear that you can only prosecute trespass if the trespasser refuses to leave your land, by the shortest route, when asked to do so.
I'm no lawyer but, presuming you left after the altercation, that's not trespass in my understanding.

Bogeyface · 10/09/2015 08:32

Or to put it another way..... my mother has offered me the use of her car if mine breaks down. Would I just take it? No, I would call her and confirm if its still ok for me to borrow it. Thats what you do and thats what the OP did. Then he comes and does his crazy act. I see no contradiction.

Lweji · 10/09/2015 08:42

"(presumed it wasn't a time limited o"

This is the part that undermines and requires clarification.

MaddyinaPaddy · 10/09/2015 08:50

It's her post at 21.05 which seems to contradict her op .