To make my ds sit for an entrance exam for a private school I can never afford?

[lexlee]

We live two streets away from a very expensive but great private school. DS is clever (particularly in Maths and music) and has already sat exams for the selective schools. I am confident he could pass the exam, but at the moment unless he got a 100% scholarship, it is is not affordable.

For some reason, I have my heart set on him going to the school. I just know he would thrive there.My husband says it is wasting everyone's time, notwithstanding the 150 registration/exam fee. If ds gets in but no meaningful scholarship is offered then it is a waste and ds will be disappointed. The school website says the only scholarship they give is 10% of the fees.

I have been a sahm for the last 10 years and have thought about returning to work just so we could afford the school. We worked out I need to earn at least 25k a year to afford the school. I am not sure what work I could get - I only ever worked as a civil servant in another country and have never worked in the UK. But what job pays 25k working between school hours?

Oh well, sorry for this rant!

Any advice is welcome.

We did this with DS1 when he was 9 - talked into it by one of the teachers we briefly met at a social occasion. He passed the exam in the top 10 and went to the school on a bursary. You've got nothing to lose.

You also have to factor in the cost of uniforms, extra curricular activities, various trips (including overseas), extra tuition etc. Most pupils at the school my children attended participated in various extra curricular activities which required them to have their own sporting equipment. I think it's a huge gamble to even think about sending your DS to this school if you haven't got permanent and guaranteed employment to finance it. It would also be pointless on sending him to sit the exam if there's no guarantee you will be able to send him there. It would be unfair to get his hopes up IMO.

I know of a very well known boys school that do give out a few 100% scholarships every year but it's not really known about

So if they feel the boy is good for their school and will excel and does not fit the bursaries criteria they may still get a place it's a very slim chance though

You could also save up for a private sixth form/ investigate scholarships for sixth forms. Or even look for boarding schools that offer full scholarships I guess.

rachel it's rare to get 100% funding but it does happen, whether it's pointless to try depends on the school and the child.

why cant you work outside school ours?

why dont you start applying for and looking at jobs locally see what happens? see how feasible it is?

Do you have younger DCs? If not, then why does the job need to be school hours if he's going to secondary? Also with younger DCs, what ages are they, could you look at before and after school care?

But unless you can secure a job ASAP that's paying ??25k (or ??30/35k if you need to include wrap around care costs for younger DCs), then you would be wasting everyone's time.

Have you looked at the other schools in the area? Asked about how they support children who are gifted and talented?

There's lots of things in life that are better if you are rich, education is sadly one of them.

You need to be realistic. It's not just the fees but everything else plus costs of a sibling if needed.

With no work experience in ten years and only wanting school hour work, you're chances of finding a ??25k job are slim to none.

Don't put your son through exams etc when there's no chance of him going there, wastes his time and the schools.

It would be a bursary you would need to look at but they are very often not 100% of fees, and rarely cover the other extras such as uniforms, trips, etc. They can also be stopped and changed over time too.

I think you need to speak to the school's bursar, or Headteacher, to see if they do 100% bursaries, or what level they do to and what criteria is required, otherwise it would be a waste of your DS's time.

A friend of my son's is very bright and his parents are separated. His mother put him in for entrance exams for a prep school at 7 and then for the Royal Grammar School in Guildford at 11. In both cases he got in, but he didn't get a scholarship on either occasion so couldn't go.

My son said that when he started at the local comp he was a bit "this is beneath me" but I think he's settled down now. But I think if you know you can't pay the fees under any circumstances, don't do it. Use any spare cash you have for things like language courses, school trips, out of school activities generally.

The job would need to be take home 25k which is a 35k ish salary. Take into account uniform, extra circulars, trips etc you Are reistily looking at a sary of 40-45k. A job that pays that will not be for someone who has been at home for so manyyears unless u have a professional qualification ie accountant etched espevially not part time hours.

Well if it really is that important to you then you will go out and find a job earning 25K, working all hours and working several jobs if you have to. TBH if you were that set on the school you would have found the job already. And you wouldn't be only thinking about something in school hours which sounds like you want the benefits of all worlds.

That suggests to me that it's more of a "wouldn't it be nice if ..." moment rather than something that you are really genuinely actively considering. Kind of like people view houses outside their price bracket and then sigh wistfully.

It's unlikely a school will give you a bursary in lieu of a parent working.

I would be very wary of showing your DS the school, him setting his heart on it and passing the exam, not being able to go because of the fees and feeling like he had ended up at a second rate place through no fault of his own.

Ring the bursar and ask him what scholarships and bursaries are available. Ask for the terms on which they are awarded (this may be on their website). Get a job, any job, because I don't think they would judge an application for a bursary very favourably if one parent wasn't working through choice.

Look at getting a second mortgage on your house, or downsizing and hopefully releasing some equity.

Realistically, if I was in your position, I think I would start saving so that he could attend the school for Sixth Form if it was still attractive to you/him.

If you've not worked for 10 years, the chances of you getting a 25k school hours job is remote. There will be many people whose skills and knowledge are more up to date. So, if you can't afford it, you would be very unreasonable to "make" your DS sit the exam, or even talk about the school to him.

These days a scholarship is more like a token, financially. It's mainly a prestigious award.

You need a bursary which is far more valuable financially.

Or, a scholarship and a bursary.

Let your ds take the exam and speak to the school bursar about what sort of assistance is available. I know people who work in private schools and get substantially reduced fees for their dc. But again, you could ask if you did another job within the school, whether you could get a discount. I'm assuming from your post that you aren't a teacher but you could look into other jobs the school has.

I would contact the bursar by email and ask if you can ring for a chat.
In your email lay out what your income is. State clearly that you could only afford it if a bursary of 100% were offered and that you would like the bursar to be brutally honest about how often such bursaries are offered because the application cost is going to be a big stretch for you, which you cannot afford to waste if there is no chance of 100% bursary. Also ask what kind of level of attainment would be necessary for a full bursary - because often full ones are only given to those who are really top in the exam, which your son is unlikely to be.
If ny information given is vague, push for more clarity. If it is still vague, don't bother applying. Too often parents believe they are likely to get huge bursaries and although their children pass the exam and get some kind of bursary offer, it is not big enough for the children to attend - how disappointing - and that kind of disappointment is to be avoided if possible.

Listen to what the bursar says and if such bursaries are never given or so so rarely that the chances of getting one are extremely unlikely,don't take your son to see the school and don't enter the exam, but start looking at options which are viable in your circumstances.

To repeat what other posters say...look at bursaries..all 3 DC attended private schools although we were low income or benefits..it is not impossible. ..but be open with your child about the chances. A bright child will understand the situation.
Good luck..

See if the school in question is looking for staff. There is usually an hefty discount for children of staff members (not just teaching staff) at independent schools.

independent schools locally expect that bursary applicants will do their utmost to "maximise their income" before applying. I would image that families with a SAHP would not meet that criterion.

I think it's really bad to get him to sit the exam if he can't go there and get him all excited but then rejected because of not enough money. sounds like it's setting him up for money issues.

YABU. Why set him up for disappointment like that?

As other posters have already said, scholarships and bursaries are two very different things. A scholarship can be awarded to a top-scoring student even if they are wealthy. Bursaries are what is awarded on the basis of need. The reason scholarships are maximum 10% is so as to divert as much money as possible into bursaries. Talk to the bursar if there isn't bursary info on the website.

I know of a very well known boys school that allows boys to sit for a scholarship exam.

A scholarship involves a small percentage reduction as well as lotsof prestige within the school. Boys that get a scholarship are also eligible for means-tested bursaries of up to 105% of the school fees. However, bursaries are fairly limited in number.

There are also some special scholarships/bursaries for people who are very local to the school.

Have you contacted the school for a discussion and a tour? As you live so close, it is surely worth that.

I think if there is no chance that you will afford it, then don't.

With dd1, she sat the entrance exam for an independent because the state schools local to us suddenly announced a ridiculous shake-up.
She got a 50% scholarship, but between that point and accepting it, public opinion stopped the state school mess.

I loved the school and would have loved to send her there, but realistically we couldn't have afforded to send dd2 let alone ds there too even if they also got 50% scholarship.
So with some difficulty we turned it down.

Now I'm quite thankful because other than (via another child whose dm I'm friendly with) I've found their head of maths has no grasp of the subject and what is more doesn't seem to realise this, but also the same mum told me this summer that they've had issue after issue with the girls in that year.(her dd is older)

But if it hadn't looked like potentially the only sensible option at the time then I think it would have been wrong to put dd1 under the pressure to get enough off the fees to go,particularly if I'd been set on it as she would have felt that she was letting us down.

My SIL pays for her DD to attend private school by baking cakes! She is very good at it and her business is thriving but basically she is baking cakes in her tiny kitchen in her tiny ex council house. Where there is a will there is a way!