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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want sex with the prospect of DC walking in?

28 replies

FishFace99 · 07/09/2015 23:42

We recently moved from a three storey house to a two storey and since then our sex life has gone downhill dramatically. Our bedroom used to be en suite and on the top floor, with DCs on second floor. DD, who is 8, sleepwalks and also goes to the toilet around twice per night and has to pass our room to get there. We have to sleep with the door to our bedroom open because DP is on call, the door is noisy, and our three year old with additional needs would scream the house down if she found herself shut off. DD (8) is adjacent to our room and so could hear us/be in our room in seconds. Her room is also at the top of the stairs so she could be downstairs in seconds too. DP thinks possibly hearing your parents having sex is a 'normal thing we all remember' Hmm I can't relax and put it out of my mind but can't see a solution. Aibu?

OP posts:
TheCraicDealer · 07/09/2015 23:48

Put a bit of WD40 on the bloody door!

if it's sheer despo surely you could put the door 'to' (but not into the keep) and get a door wedge to put at the bottom? That way if any little people get up the door won't open and they won't be scared for life.

UterusUterusGhali · 07/09/2015 23:55

This is what DVDs & cbeebies were made for.

Also, pile of laundry in front of the door and various other booby-trap-like devices.

Wait till you're sure they're asleep; the tooth fairy can!

Bathroom sex.

You can do it!

Fiddlerontheroof · 07/09/2015 23:56

Get the door fixed, put a small lock on it... Lock when dtd And then unlock and leave ajar before you go to sleep! And perhaps keep the noise down a bit... Job done :)

Busyworkingmum71 · 08/09/2015 00:08

I wouldn't work yourself up over it. Sound advice on a door wedge, keeping the noise down, booby trap the door with laundry or a bag, hang a duvet cover or bedsheet over the door to dry (to obscure view if LO comes a knocking), give child a bell to ring if they wake in the night and need you so you go to them rather than vice versa (once suitably attired if course!).

My dd at about 4-5yo returned from a weekend with her dad and his very young new girlfriend and told me about a game she found them playing in bed one morning when she went into see them, called being 'wiggly worms' under the duvet. I can only imagine she had caught them dtd, had a snigger to myself and said nothing more about it. She's not scarred for life, can't even remember it.

Hamiltoes · 08/09/2015 00:10

3 year old would have no idea what was even going on and even if they did would never remember anyway.

DD(8) isn't she sleeping when she sleepwalks i.e will probably have no recollection in the morning anyway? The toilet trips, how many times in the last month has she unexpectedly come into your room going to/ from the toilet? If every night then you might not be unreasonable.

But you probably are being unreasonable if that is the only genuine reason for not wanting to have sex.

wickedlazy · 08/09/2015 00:12

Could you put music or a dvd on to drown out any noises?

wickedlazy · 08/09/2015 00:15

Although that could lead to "there's the Marvin Gaye on, mum and dad must be at it again".

mrsfollowill · 08/09/2015 00:26

You need to be a bit more creative! If the DC stay upstairs once put to bed then use downstairs Grin. It gets so much worse the older they get.... don't think we have dtd in our bed in the last few years!

wafflyversatile · 08/09/2015 00:48

Take some of the evasive action as above and accept that it has been known for children to walk in on their parents and not die.....

....except possibly of embarrassment every time they think of it for the next 40 years.

TheCraicDealer · 08/09/2015 00:51

A friend of mine's parents used to say they were, "going upstairs for a lie down", when we were about 12, 13. Like in the middle of the afternoon. She and her brother were grossed out by this natch, but you might be able to get away with it at their age. That is when that annoying Frozen DVD will also come in handy.

SevenSeconds · 08/09/2015 06:41

Our bedroom door doesn't close either (fluffy carpet!) and our bedroom is very close to the DC's bedrooms (aged 5, 8 and 9). They sometimes wake in the night to go to the toilet etc. But I know that their soundest sleep is in the early part of the night, and they're statistically very unlikely to wake before midnight, so I am relaxed about having sex when we go to bed. We've only had to stop mid-shag once!

Spartans · 08/09/2015 06:52

You need to figure a way round it. Surely you aren't olanning in never having sex again?

Savagebeauty · 08/09/2015 06:56

Are you just making excuses not to have sex??

RhinestoneCowgirl · 08/09/2015 06:58

We have a door wedge. And sometimes encourage the DC to watch telly on a Sunday morning because we are tired and need a lie-in Wink

duggiecustard · 08/09/2015 07:06
Hmm
00100001 · 08/09/2015 07:13

I think you're making excuses...

ScrambledEggAndToast · 08/09/2015 07:26

The other day DS went to the shop to get batteries. I looked at my DP, he grinned and we started shagging away. Just as we had finished, we heard the knock at the door Grin We had been had it all off a minute, well you've got to take your opportunities!!

addictedtosugar · 08/09/2015 08:21

Or change the location away from bed. Shower? Sofa if your obsessed with having a flight of stairs between you and the kids??

wankerchief · 08/09/2015 08:31

Use another room

AlisonWunderland · 08/09/2015 08:41

You need a shed

BathshebaDarkstone · 08/09/2015 08:50

With central heating! Grin

BitOutOfPractice · 08/09/2015 08:53

"We have to sleep with the door to our bedroom open because DP is on call". I don't understand this. On call for work?

Rainuntilseptember15 · 08/09/2015 09:00

Get a phone extension?

TheDowagerCuntess · 08/09/2015 09:02

Do you live in a fire station, and does he need to have easy access to the, um, pole?

HorseyCool · 08/09/2015 09:14

Why not have sofa sex?