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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to make DD pay for her new blazer.

25 replies

TheWildOnes · 07/09/2015 18:42

DD is 12, it was her first day back at school today and she has lost her blazer already, hopefully she will find it tomorrow but if not AIBU to make her pay herself?
Last year she lost 2 blazers, a pair of shoes as well as other little bits and pieces, pencil case etc. She is in the second year of high school now and I expect her to be able to look after things herself, I feel like she doesn't care when she loses things as I just have to replace them or she gets detention.
I had to fork out almost £200 on uniform and she's lost £30 worth on the first day!

OP posts:
Littlefish · 07/09/2015 18:45

I think it would be reasonable to ask her for a major contribution. Has her lost blazer got her name in it?

TheDrugsWorkABitTooWellThanks · 07/09/2015 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mitzi50 · 07/09/2015 18:52

Is it named?

If this is a regular thing, I would let her get the detention and get to do chores to "pay" for the blazer.

yeOldeTrout · 07/09/2015 18:52

How did she lose 3 blazers? PE class???

MrsTerryPratchett · 07/09/2015 18:53

I just have to replace them or she gets detention. Let her get detention, then. Or am I missing something? Natural consequences.

ijustwannadance · 07/09/2015 19:00

Surely if all the other kids have their own blazers and no need to take hers, she has most likely just left it on a chair in a classroom? Or left it on a bus? I would make her pay for a new one if she doesn't find it tomorrow. And let her get detention over it. She will soon stop being careless if it has consequences.

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 07/09/2015 19:00

Can you get second hand ones from PTA or equivalent? That's how I replaced DS's lost PE kits!!

TheExMotherInLaw · 07/09/2015 19:02

Check in case she is being bullied. My ds regularly had his things stolen and dumped in the bins.

Original poster
TheWildOnes · 07/09/2015 19:27

She lost this one after pe. The reason she keeps losing them is because she takes a hoody to school which she wears breaks and lunchtime, so i assume she leaves her blazer lying around. I have told her it makes it more likely she will lose it if she takes it off, this will be stopping now.
I am fine with her having detentions but i cant let her have one every day for the rest of the year (or can i, its tempting!) Grin
Fingers crossed she actually finds it tomorrow.

OP posts:
Gatehouse77 · 07/09/2015 19:32

Let her take a detention and head for the 2nd hand uniform shop. I wouldn't be spending money on new stuff if she has a history of losing it.

ijustwannadance · 07/09/2015 19:37

You should accidently lose her hoody in the wash.

Original poster
TheWildOnes · 07/09/2015 19:43

Good thinking ijustwannadance.
Didn't know if I was being too harsh, she makes me feel so guilty!

OP posts:
Caboodle · 08/09/2015 09:52

I made DC1 (then aged 8) pay 1/2 of the cost of a new tracksuit as he lost the jacket to a £40 one within a week of having it. He has never lost anything since.

bringthenoise · 08/09/2015 19:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lweji · 08/09/2015 19:18

Yes, she gets detentions until she forks out for a new blazer. Completely fair, IMO.

Lweji · 08/09/2015 19:20

Or she is active in looking for the blazer.

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 08/09/2015 19:39

Give it a day or two. I'll be reuniting a forgotten coat with its year 10 owner tomorrow. Luckily it's labelled.

Spadequeen · 08/09/2015 19:46

She should definitely pay for it. In full not just contribute.

Dd1 had to replace 2 school jumpers she lost when she was about 8 or 9, she seems a lot more careful these days.

MaddyinaPaddy · 08/09/2015 20:32

She lost 2 named blazers and they never turned up? and shoes?
I can understand things being mislaid, but not disappearing for good
Are you sure she is not being bullied?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 08/09/2015 20:33

Did she find her blazer?

Wolfiefan · 08/09/2015 20:34

Is the hoody school uniform? Doesn't she get into trouble for that?

loveandsmiles · 08/09/2015 20:53

Have you tried phoning the school?

My DD, also Year 2 at High School lost her brand new Superdry jacket on her first day back - said she had left it on back of chair in lunch hall. I phoned the school to ask if it had been handed in. They advised that it hadn't so I then said I would consider it stolen if it didn't turn up. School phoned me the next say to say they had recovered itSmile

Hope it turns up.....

Moregravyplease · 08/09/2015 20:56

My friends DS attempted to iron his blazer yesterday and melted the lapel completely.

TheCatsMother99 · 08/09/2015 20:56

I was also going to say to to look in to whether she may be being bullied (and kids are actually taking the stuff off her). Easier said than done, I'm sure, but should definitely be investigated.

StandoutMop · 08/09/2015 21:02

I work in a school. We return all labeled lost property, so long as it doesn't just say "Isabel" or something equally unenlightening. Often takes a week or 2 for it to make it to lost property though.

That said, every term, without fail, we have a mountain of unclaimed and unnamed stuff. Entire PE kits, school shoes, virtually unworn trainers, blazers, ties, the list is endless. I think kids either can't be bothered to come and look, so just tell parents it is not there, or can't id their stuff and fear getting it wrong. But I suspect the former.

If you make her pay for a new one, I think she'll be able to find the "lost" one.

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