Wibu to regift this?

[MrsHathaway]

I recently had a birthday. PIL gave me a voucher for tea for two at a naice gastropub less than ten miles away and indicated their availability to babysit if that would be helpful.

Ordinarily that would be "whoop whoop great let's get the diary out". However:

1. Health issues (now resolved) meant I put on three stone between April and August. At least two of those are no longer required, to which end I have given up sugar. They don't know this so it's not a PA or deliberately unkind/thoughtless gift. Going for tea would give me a horrific sugar hangover the next day, though.

1. There are tight and strict restrictions on the validity of the voucher. Of the eight weeks for which it is valid, I was away on holiday for two, DH was away for six and a half, and the only friend I might have taken was away for three and working the rest. They couldn't have known this either.

1. The remaining possible dates coincide with PILs' being away so the babysitting doesn't apply and therefore it can't be DH. Finding a suitable friend would be complicated because of the time restrictions (work, children, etc on all sides).

Essentially there is precisely one date I can do, and the only person I would want to take is DC1. It's a school day so we wouldn't arrive before 3.30-3.45 and the voucher is only valid before 4 pm so I suspect wouldn't be accepted.

Without suggesting workarounds (because you'll just have to take my word for how inconvenient the timing is) can you say whether you think, if I ring up and find that I can't go with DC1, I would BU to pass the voucher on to two good friends who have a day off in common each week and don't see enough of one another? I know they definitely both like cream teas as I have been invited to similar events with them before. I have already thanked PIL in the conventional fashion.

I know I'm overthinking.

What a crap gift, really restrictive

Of course pass it on

Phone the pub re the pre 4 and ask (can't hurt).

Can you call up the gastropub, explain re timing and ask to extend?

It would be quite hurtful for you to pass it on I think. Yes, we all re gift but presumably they'll know that you've not been. Unless you pretend that you have...

I would call the gastropub and explain about the no-sugar and ask if you can use the voucher for the same value of money off a nice lunch one weekend when both you and dhow are available.

I'd explain this to the pub and see if you can extend either the time of day you can use, it the period in which you can use it by a few weeks.

What a crap gift, really restrictive

I think it was a lovely, thoughtful gift, especially coupled with the offer of babysitting.

As OP says, PIL were not aware of OP's limitations re eating and availability.

OP - I think you run the risk of offending PIL if you regift.

Even if you go and watch your partner eat 80% of the goodies (due to your diet) I'd recommend you do that than offend a kind gesture which was well meant.

Dame - I mean the gift! Not the parents giving it. It's only valid for 8 weeks, it's the pub that's crap.

They will be deliberately making it restrictive so few people can use it (like bloody Groupon)

PIL are unlikely to ask so they would never know. We've also already been through the thanking process: I simply wouldn't mention it. They're about to go away for an extended spell so I'd be amazed if they even remember by the next time I see them.

It's just a niggle in my head. I'm fully intending to call the place and see if a 3.45 table counts as pre-4 in which case DC1 and I will go and he'll happily scoff two helpings of everything while I nibble at cucumber sandwiches and drink tea by the pint in which case the gift is his uninterrupted company in pleasant surroundings and that's lovely. It's just what to do if they say no.

PIL have a history of nice-but-not-right presents such as gardening vouchers when we lived in a flat but are resistant to any suggestion of not doing gifts, or token useful socks/tea towels/hand cream. They always mean well but spend too much unnecessarily.

Anyway this is seriously first-world problem and your responses have been very helpful.

I think it was a lovely gift. I also think you sound ungrateful and ridiculous about a bit of sugar. Everything in moderation is fine :/

Anyway this is seriously first-world problem and your responses have been very helpful

really? oh for god sake.

Cross posted. I suspect it is Groupon or similar as they are addicted

I think you can still go and eat in moderation. It's one day, one meal and you would be silly to not use the thoughtful gift over something you actually can control?

Ouch.

Everything in moderation is indeed fine which is why I've not ruled it out completely, but since I know it will give me a hangover it isn't the totally blissful experience it would be if I weren't on the wagon.

And "in moderation" means once a week/month, which is wholly consistent with going sugar-free most of the time.

And the logistics far outweigh the sugar issues, FWIW. It's a short window in the day, on only certain days of the week, within a short validity period which overlapped with the school holidays and middle child starting school on half days. If it had allowed a weekend slot there would have been no problem at all.

Pass the gift on, it's was a nice idea from your PIL but the logistics of organising it sounds like it's sucked any joy out of it. It's a lovely thought to give it to your friends and hopefully, that will make you feel less guilty about not using it yourself.

Blimey, I thought the OP was pretty obviously grateful for the thought, if not the logistic restrictions!

Pass it on, and if they do ask, you can say something like, the teas were lovely, and very much enjoyed! Which I'm sure will be true.

If its a pub why don't you call now and ask if they can extend? Surely they'd be open and able to advise.

I've had a sugar hangover when I ate a 2 litre tub of melting ice cream (I hate waste). I fell asleep and woke up an hour later with a stinking headache!

Your plan sounds very reasonable to me op.

Turns out that "before 4pm" means "sitting down before 4pm". PFB and I are booked in for this Friday.

::slaps self for being silly::

I agree it was a poor choice of gift although the givers probably didn't realise. We were given the same for Christmas by friends - couldn't use it. DP works away meaning it was only any good to us at weekends, but they sold so many vouchers the weekends were all booked up. Even though the retailer extended the validity period we just couldn't use it.

I would pass it on to someone else and not mention it to PILs. If you get asked about it say it was lovely and you got a friend to babysit as the PILs were away on the only convenient date. No more detail and perhaps they'll think twice about such a gift again. Then tell them you have cut out certain things from your diet.