To be sad that the meaning of gift giving has been lost (certainly amongst my family and friends)?

[N0numbers]

As we come to THAT time of the year, parents, siblings and friends have all said to me that as everyone has so much stuff they aren't going to do any gifts this year for birthdays or C and don't want any in return.

Not one of them gets that I find it sad that I can't give them a small token of my love, appreciation of them etc or because I see something that I think they would like or want (not necessarily need)?

If I was to still buy gifts they would be offended and embarrassed not to have anything in return so I can't just give.

Maybe I should just be grateful that this will be an incredibly cheap year gift wise.

But I don't see gift giving as the materialism I see it as the symbolism am I sad to think that this seems to be dying out? Especially in this day and age where we are so busy this little token can last all year as you think of the giver as you use / look at it.

AIBU to be sad at no gifts?

Reubs making presents is lovely, and I'm also very pro second hand and low budget. I just think demanding that you're given nothing is sad.

We're having a ban on things this Christmas. Our house is just stuffed full of tat.
I'd be happy qif my friends and family abandoned gift giving /receiving altogether.
Christmas has become so over-materialistic and commercial.

If you would like to buy presents for someone, then can I suggest calling your local day centre or home for the elderly? People very rarely think of them at Christmas, yet many of them may have absolutely no one to buy them anything, so small gifts are very much appreciated.

DH and I spoke with our siblings several years ago and agreed that we wouldn't exchange gifts at Xmas. We are all grown up, have jobs and families of our own and so if there is something someone wants during the year they go and buy it for themselves! It takes a lot of the stress out of Xmas and we just get together for drinks and fun instead, which is the actual spirit of Xmas I feel.

When it comes to the DPs and GPs though we all tend to club together to get them something, as they don't understand.

TBH if there is nothing DH and I want from each other for Xmas we make a charitable donation. Last year we bought a space heater for the kitten pen of our local Cats Protection League. I always smile on cold nights knowing that I didn't waste money on something neither of us wanted or needed just to keep up with expectations.

CMOT absolutely. I participate in quite a few of those sorts of schemes and it's a great thing. As you say, the elderly are often ignored.
It's not the same as spending ages choosing something for someone I love though. I want to do both.

Soudns as if gift giving is one of your love languages. Google it and all will become clear.

I'd be a bit sad too, if I'm honest.

My sisters have children and large inlaw families and a big circle of friends, so I do understand that it gets busy and expensive and a bit of a hassle for them.

but I don't have any of that. I'm single, childless, a couple of friends. And I like both giving and getting gifts. Not big or expensive or whatever, just the thought of having a little surprise or something special, and being able to do that for someone else. It's the only time of year when I do get them - people with families often seem to do birthdays or anniversaries or just special things between them, and it can feel a bit lonely as a single person not having any of that. And shopping and gifts make me feel part of Christmas somehow, when otherwise I am just a bit of an outsider looking in on everyone else's involved lives.

So I can understand being a bit sad. One sister suggested secret santa type gifts in our family, or just donating to charity, and I was lukewarm about the idea and it was dropped for the time being, but it might come back again. I kind of hope not though, as I couldn't say anything because of course it's up to them if they choose not to do presents, giving or receiving. But I would feel sad without being able to tell anyone why.

Crochet are you me? Did I get confused with passwords and set up a new account?

We could make a club of slightly lonely single outsiders...

I think it's partly a symptom of never being 'special' in someone's life, so little things like a gift at Christmas do actually mean something.

I think yab a bit u
I have a big family and my dc have had "big" birthday parties (15 kids invited for eg).
My house is absolutely and completely stuffed with shite. Even though I am considered pretty ruthless getting rid of stuff. Just a few months ago, I took 20 "things" to the charity shop which were all unused gifts my dc received. It semed to have no impact whatsoever on the volume of clutter. If my dcs received a small and thoughtful present, it would probably get into a box and be used twice a year whilst the dc play screens. They won't get rid of any of it. My 9yo was clutching a toddler toy, reluctant to let it go. He still has baby toys rated 12 months onwards.

I would love to go away for Christmas and for the dc to receive a box of chocs and £20 cash each. And nothing else. And I would like me and dh to receive nothing at all unless people want to give us hard cash

Christmas should be great. But I just dread the volume of presents, to be given and received. We've just agreed with SIL not to do presents. She was thrilled.

Why not give these people tokens of appreciation at random moments during the year such as when you see something they'd love etc.?

TBH that would mean more to me than anything received at Christmas or birthday.