To be pissed off at DH?

[BathshebaDarkstone]

He yelled at DS 4 for shaking the table.

I think we might need a bit more info than that. Was ds in danger of hurting himself on things falling from the table, glasses smashing on the floor etc? Does dh usually lose his cool like this? Is it a one off or a pattern of behaviour?

From the info you have given YABU.

I'd shout if my DS was shaking the table too, especially if I needed him to stop quickly.

From that information yabu

It depends how many times DS 4 had already been told not to shake the table.

Bit more info?

The cups were wobbling, DS was only doing it because he was throwing a strop because I told him he'd have to wait for me to get out of the way of the TV while I cleaned him up. I was trying to stop his bad attitude, I don't think DH's bad attitude helped. DH tends to overreact to small things and is very jumpy, compared to my being very chilled out.

I would yell at my children in that situation.

Your DS was throwing a tantrum because he wasn't getting his own way, which was resulting in your table and cups wobbling. Unacceptable behaviour from a four year old.

So your DH was backing you up and telling your DS to behave himself when he was "throwing a strop", but he's BU?

If a child is rocking a table to the extent they are making cups wobble just because he couldn't see the tv then I think shouting at him to stop is more than acceptable.

So ds was having a tantrum because you were in the way of the TV and started to shake the table in protest? Litthe sod. DH was not BU at all.

To be honest that probably was quite annoying. Do you think your DH should always defer to your parenting style?

Always easy when not there but wouldn't it have been easier to turn the TV off?

What sort of shouting? Was your DS scared?

Sorry annoying that your son was wobbling the table I meant!

Sorry I'm with your dh.
Did your DS stop misbehaving?

Sounds to me like that's exactly what he deserved.

I'm not sure that your 'laid back' parenting style is cutting the mustard if he has these tantrums.

YABVU. And ridiculous.

Yabu

Yabu.

"Dh's tends to overreact to small things" well if he does it a lot YANBU about him "yelling" at DS. You shouldn't yell at DC if possible

Both myself and DP would have yelled in that circumstance, probably at the same time, without meaning to, which would have meant DS would have got it in stereo!

Oh well, at least we would have managed a united front, which it sounds like your DH was trying to do with you.

The TV shouldn't be on whilst eating anyway.

HTH.