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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be fed up of feeling poor?

66 replies

manicmother02 · 06/09/2015 06:51

Hey, just having a moan really. I work part time and my partner works full time, we have two kids. We both work in care, and at the end of the month have no money left... We have enough to cover our bills but not enough to save anything.

We want to move somewhere cheaper to live but cant as we cant save! Its just bloody crap. I'm changing my job to try and up my hours so we can get more money but its hard with the children. They are in primary school so not old enough to be alone after school ect.... It just sucks. We would love to get married and go on holidays.

I'm waiting to see if we can get tax credits just so we can save some money.

I know its not really a huge problem...we have a roof over our heads and food on the table....but its hard when it seems like everyone else is well off!

Thanks for letting me have a moan.

OP posts:
Glasgoow · 06/09/2015 21:58

Sorry hun but you need to man up and grow some balls. You never go hungry and have a roof over your head.

I have made myself "poor" on purpose and I love it. I worked hard in my 20s bought a house outright at 30 and now work three days a week for the UK national average. I don't have anything flashy and can't waste money, but I can't complain.

BigRedBall · 06/09/2015 22:04

I have made myself "poor" on purpose and I love it. I worked hard in my 20s bought a house outright at 30 and now work three days a week for the UK national average.

Fuck. So that's the secret.
Buy a house OP, and then make yourself poor on purpose. That way you'll be better off...Hun.

antimatter · 06/09/2015 22:31

I think Glasgoow doesn't know what it means to be poor.

FarFromAnyRoad · 06/09/2015 22:36

Hun?

Jesus. It really is spreading isn't it.

OP - I can totally relate to what you're feeling. Have you considered maybe doing a bit of eBay in your spare time? It sounds like you're already cutting back everything that can be cut back!

kippersmum · 06/09/2015 22:50

Artandco I'd be interested to hear your view on what to do when you have 2 parents working their arses off, not in a highly paid office environment, when childcare costs more than 1 salary, and you already work different hours.

From your previous posts I'm guessing you aren't on the breadline soon... I appreciate you want to be helpful, but I'm not sure what experience you have of having to decide between bread or milk or pasta at the local shop because you only have 83p to your name for the next 3 days..

Imperialleather2 · 06/09/2015 22:54

Op it's a shit situation. Can you maybe do an extra shift a week and then save that extra money so you can move or just have it as treat money?
Or even an extra shift every other weekend overnight or something to get some extra money.
I remember being a trainee and crying when I got paid because I was so skint. It's shit and I ended up getting a Saturday job for extra money. Lots of people said I must be mad working full time all week but I just decided I needed the odd treat and it was worth it.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 06/09/2015 22:56

Fucking hell. Some of the replies here make me want to move to a new planet as soon as humanly possible.

YANBU OP.

Original poster
manicmother02 · 07/09/2015 07:29

Thanks for the replies guys....i will be doing as much overtime as I can, I looked into child care yesterday and most of the places are full around here, the ones that arnt seem more expensive (probably why they have spaces).

I have cut back as much as can....by value food ect....just have digital box....cheap internet.

Would love to buy a house......if someone would just give me ten grand for a deposit Hmm it would have to be given.....i have no spare money!!

Myself and dp ate looking to move in around 3-5 years....hopefully money will be a bit less tight.

Again thank you for the replies. Grin

OP posts:
godsavethequeeeen · 07/09/2015 07:39

The long term idea of training for nursing could have potential? Care work is unfairly underpaid and you can't thrive on it.

Have you looked at the open university pages, there might be a short opening course you can crack on with in the evenings ( depending on how well the dc's sleep!).

It is crap being poor and not being able to find a log term way out. We just have to keep plugging away.

Fairylea · 07/09/2015 07:40

Only on mumsnet would you get someone telling you 40 hours a week is part time Grin .... yes op you should both we working 5000 hours a week and never ever see your partner or your children because then you'd have more money (and be ill and miserable at the same time)....!

It's horrible struggling op. We are a low income family too..dh works 55 hours a week on minimum wage and I care for our severely disabled little one. It's very tough. Dh is constantly looking for better paid work but in our area most jobs are minimum wage. To get more he would have to travel at least 40 miles (petrol or train money! ) And if we moved we couldn't afford the housing!

Glasgoow · 07/09/2015 07:47

To some people 40 hours a week does seem like part time. I worked 60-80 hours a week in order to become mortgage free.

My advice to everyone is too live well below your means before starting a family. However 99% of people spend all that they have then when children come along wonder why money is so tight and moan about it.

Build your foundations being building apon them.

JanetBlyton · 07/09/2015 07:47

Genuinely some of us have worked 6 or 7 days a week whilst having children and that for us has been the route to having more money than we spend so it's not unkind to mention it as it's one thing that might be possible to give her what she needs.

However I agree that is hard to make a lot as a carer. Is cleaning better paid where you are? Our cleaner cleans before or after a different full time job so either early morning or evening and that helps her to make extra money. (She still works fewer hours than I do by the way)

Badders123 · 07/09/2015 07:57

We work more hours than any other country in the EU!
Jesus, mn is like an alternate universe sometimes.
I work for NMW. Not what I want to do, in fact I hate it, but it's ££ and we need ££.
Dh might be getting a promotion soon and I may have to give up the job anyway as it will mean more travel and we have 2 DC.
No point working for £6.50 an hour and then giving it to someone else to look after your kids.

Badders123 · 07/09/2015 08:00

Years ago, I used to work ft in a call centre in town.
Then I worked weekends in a care home...I got paid £25 for a 12 hour weekend shift.I was awful and of course in time it made me ill.
Working those hours are not sustainable long term.
And nor should they be.
You shouldn't have to nearly kill yourself and never see your family just to be able to afford the take out!

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 07/09/2015 08:16

Would you want your elderly relative or friend with disabilities cared for by someone on NMW who was working 60-80 hours a week Glasgoow?

Artandco · 07/09/2015 08:22

Jesus what's with this place atm? Op asked for advice and I gave some and now being eaten. I didn't say working 6-7 days or 50-60 hrs or opposite shifts is perfect or ideal, I suggested it as a way for op to increase income without increasing childcare costs. It doesn't have to be a permanent thing, but a year for example of working opposite shifts with her dh and doubling hrs could be enough to lift them out of current situation.

Many many people do 60-70 hr shifts temporarily for say 1-2 years so they can save enough for a house deposit/ car/ home renovation/ relocation. Once reached they can review hrs.

In 2 years op children will also be older so things might change again

duggiecustard · 07/09/2015 08:29

We don't have a day off together atm as surely long term goals are more important. It is something people have to do to improve your situation.

latebreakfast · 07/09/2015 08:45

Glasgoow does make an interesting point - although not really related to the op. If I inherit (or otherwise get) a £1Million house, that asset is completely disregarded - I could then earn a low wage and still be entitled to tax credits etc even though I could sell the house, buy another for £100K and have £900K in the bank. That seems very unfair to me.

Glasgoow · 07/09/2015 08:51

I don't have any tax credits just to add. That would be unethical IMO. I wish they would scrap tax credits but thats another topic.

Babyroobs · 07/09/2015 08:54

I think under Universal Credit, savings and possibly assets will be take into consideration when awarding benefits.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 07/09/2015 09:06

What part of providing support to other parents do some posters find hard to comprehend? Here we have a poster and her DH, working hard in the care industry (I'm betting said hard of comprehension posters do not have clue how fucking hard this is), living frugally and having a vent. In response she gets "hunned" at, advised to make herself poor (wtaf) and told to be grateful she has a roof over her head.

For fucks sake. Why can't these people either go and be dicks on netmums, or moneysaving-expert, or start their own threads or just remember the adage "if you've nothing nice to say..." This particular OP isn't eating babies or committing fraud, she's working hard and is skint and deserves a bit of support and compassion.

Honestly, it's like some posters nowadays actually take pleasure in being wilfully obtuse and/or mean to people. Do they think it makes them look good? It makes them look like twats.

Glasgoow · 07/09/2015 09:18

She's had lots of support, some ideas to improve her situation and some reminders to be greatful for what she does have. Can't see the issue with that.

Would you rather we all replied "omg hun sending you big hugzz xxx"?

PurpleHairAndPearls · 07/09/2015 09:31

Oh Glagsoow, I'm not engaging with someone who thinks "Build your foundations being building apon them" is good, or even understandable, advice.

Go and be goady somewhere else, can't you?

Lightbulbon · 07/09/2015 09:34

There's a huge difference between working 60-80 hours in an office career job and a on your feet all day, responsible for others well being care job.

I don't think people suggesting working 80 hours in care have ever worked in care.

Glasgoow · 07/09/2015 09:42

Maybe get another job where you can work longer hours. Many people have to work 2nd and 3rd jobs. It sucks but needs must