to give him fish fingers for tea every day?

[KissingFish]

Our son is a crappy eater. He is 16 months old and has never explored wet food with his hands. He wont touch wet food himself and has no interest in using a spoon or fork. Up until about a month ago he let us spoon feed him his tea but that has now stopped and the only meal he will let us feed him is his breakfast and a yoghurt now and then. He will feed himself bread, toast, baby biscuits, baby crisps, peas, broccoli, strawberrys and grapes.

This is an example of a days food.

Breakfast: a bowl of porridge with a banana mashed in and a tablespoon of chia seeds. Spoon fed to him.

Snack: Natural Greak yoghurt (spoon fed) and a couple of strawberries or grapes which he feeds himself.

Lunch: Usually just a slice of plain buttered wholemeal toast. He wont have anything on it. Sometimes just a piece of bread and butter. He wont eat more than that.

Snack: Some more strawberries or grapes and some baby biscotti.

Tea: 2 fish fingers and peas. Somtimes followed by a spoon fed fruit pot, if he lets us feed him it.

Then he has a 6-8oz bottle of formula before bed. Amount depends on how much tea he's eaten.

Does this sound like a good amount of food for a 16 month old? He weighs just under 20lb and is on the 9th percentile, I think. He is very thin, you can see his rips and shoulder blades and spine. We have just today started giving him drinks of cows milk with his snacks to up his calories since he wont eat more.

Most other things we try to give him for tea he wont even touch never mind put near his mouth. Would it be unreasonable to give him fish fingers and peas on his plate for tea every night but also put tasters of whatever we're having for tea on his plate too? We tried this the other day and it seemed a lot less of a stressful meal time for all of us. He ate the fish fingers and peas and picked up some of the potato (which he wouldn't usually). He put the potato in his mouth and spat it out but even that was a step forward.

I think it's fine to give him what he will eat. DS was a terrible eater for a long time and I used to give him a dinner that he definitely would eat every second night and the other night I would give him something that he might eat and have some finger food on standby.

I remember that H made a difficult situation much worse by insisting that DS eat. So when it was just me and DS I would put the food in front of him and eat mine and not pay any attention to what he was eating, and he would eat some of it. When H was there DS wouldn't even start eating because he knew that no matter how much he ate H would insist that he have an extra 3 or 5 spoonfuls at the end. H and I had long conversations about it and he would agree that it was best to leave DS to it, but when it came to it H couldn't help himself.

I really recommend Finger Food for Babies and Toddlers by Jennie Maizels. A lot of the recipes came out just the right texture for DS. Her tomato sauce was particularly good, I used to put it into a little pot for DS to dip penne pasta etc into.

Honestly? His diet is fine. Way more varied than my DD.

Read "My Child Won't Eat". It's perfectly normal to eat less at this age compared with when they were a year old. Babies start to eat less around this age because their growth is starting to slow down. Fussiness is also normal for this age and might last a while.

My DD was a great eater at 12m, and now at nearly 4, eats no fruit or veg and virtually no protein - apart from hot dogs. She'd gladly eat hot dogs for every meal.

Would he eat burger fingers? As in homemade ones by moulding mince into the right shape and coating in breadcrumbs if needed? You can also grind down the mince more if you think texture might be part of it. Ravioli, or even small tubes of pasta with fish shoved in as it seems to be a favourite. Lasagne sheets are good for making quick homemade variations on stuffed pasta too. And again if at first you need to grate a few crumbs over it to get him to try it then go for it. And dips for finger food if wet isn't an option. Dd loved garlic cream cheese or roué to dip stuff in. Cheese and apple cut into chunks too. Miniature portions of messy food, so quiche, toad in the hole etc made in a bun tray so it can be picked up as dry finger food. Prawn toast, looks like toast and you don't have to deep fry it, or even use prawns. Good quality sausages.
As you might guess dd didn't really do wet food either at that age, and wouldn't allow me to feed her. Also wasn't a lover of meat, fish or dairy. It needed somehow mixing up so she didn't get just a mouthful of meat texture. But she did love every cheese she tasted with the exception of the usual toddler types like mild cheddar and dairy lea. And also loved marinated/ spicy meats as I assume it disguised the taste.

Honestly, lots of children are like this.

He's only 16 months, just feed him what he will eat and maybe eat with him so he sees your food - then he can have a little taste if he looks curious.

Okay this is from personal experience of ds (nearly three) who after "mummy" his next first words were "spag Bol" and who one would only eat pears for about two weeks. Very skinny child too & small for his age.
Things we tried were (on advice of HV) adding skimmed milk powder to milk & milk on cereals (provides protein which I note you seem to be a little worried about understandably)
We also added cream to cereals & in mash potato but I know you say wet food isn't a favourite.
Peanut butter & porridge oats squished into balls & set in the fridge as a little snack did wonders for my ds - lots of fat & fibre.
Add butter to any legumes or veg.

The best thing I did was get a Tupperware box with lots of compartments & stuck a load of bits & bobs in that he could snack on throughout the day.

Also Birdseye do chicken fingers that look just like fish fingers so maybe trial sticking one in the oven with fish fingers & see if it's picked up on!

Kids are funny buggers sometimes, but saying that I've worked with many adults who brought exactly the same sandwich to work with them everyday for lunch, so don't panic too much at this stage.

My ds still has weeks where he only wants seven pears a day or spag Bol for breakfast but generally has opened up to trying most things now (but thinking about it hated anything wet too, first time I gave him mash potato he was fuming)

You could approach it slightly differently by forgetting about the food part and eating part and getting him relaxed with touching wet things and foods. Encouraging him in messy play, or painting with foods. Perhaps with another child to copy.

Will he eat sweet things? I've found when my two are fussy they will always eat cake/puddings. I make chocolate walnut balls by blending walnuts with chocolate powder and some coconut oil. Or chia chocolate pudding from mama natural is great. Or black bean brownies can have chopped nuts added.

I wouldn't give the same thing for tea.

Do you eat with him?

Have you ruled out reflux or food intolerances, does he struggle with swallowing? Does he do messy play e.G. do you let him do wet activities?

DS has eaten a lot better since we dropped the cows milk during the day, so you might find that adding it might not help.

He'll be getting plenty of protein. Look up the amount they need in a day, you'll be surprised how little it is.

Have you tried him with fish cakes?

My DS was the same. We found that the only way to get him to try new food was to put Peppa Pig on the iPad and distract him. We'd then at least be able to get new food into his mouth and occasionally he wouldn't spit it out. Not a great habit to get into, but for us it was the only way.

I would not give the fish fingers every night. I would just put what you are having on his plate and if he eats it great and if not he will probably eat what does appeal to him from the meal. There is no way my 3 eat the amount of food you are describing every day so you are already getting decent quantities and varieties of food into him. My kids still aged 10,6 and nearly 4 will not eat everything we offer them but they do try most things except some absolute no gos like eggs for dd1 and Ds. We actually weighed them this morning so for once I know my children are 30kg, 18kg and 15kg, so they are on the slight side too. They have always had family meals although I will admit I had to make my own tastes more family friendly since having kids i.e. No vindaloo.

I second Carlos Gonzalez My child won't eat. It is fascinating and very reassuring.

If amount is an issue then why not have things in bowls and let him serve himself, will give him a feeling of being in control and no issues about amount. Put what you are having there too and make it clear that he can have anything out of any of the bowls, serve yourself out of the bowls so its a family thing

Have you tried white fish like cod and haddock without being in fish finger form? He might like it. If you are really worried, you could see the GP about seeing a dietitian to get advice.

For protein, have you tried tofu (the firm stuff) cut into cubes? I sprinkle it in paprika and a bit of black pepper and then lightly fry it in oil, toddler DS goes wild for it.

DS is a bit of a food monster, but when's he's teething he usually has a day per tooth when he loses his appetite, on those days when I feed him I sit him on my lap in a comfy chair and we share a plate of food. I take a bite or a spoonful, then he has a bite or a spoonful (I often feed him pieces or spoon it for him). He really loves it and snuggles up close to me. It's also been a good way of getting him to try new things as he gets curious about what's on the plate.

Do you cook and bake with him and let him get his hands in there without fussing about the mess. Mine loves to help stir and taste everything while we cook together even on days he doesn't want to eat.
The not wanting wet hands mine did for a while we just did lots and lots of easy play and 'oh well' until he stopped worrying about it.

Messy play

DS was similar. Even now at 2 days off 7, I introduce new foods by doing them as a side dish with a main course he will eat. He also doesn't really like wet food, but will now rematch baked beans, a bit of very mild chilli and lumpy mash with gravy. I'd keep doing what you're doing, and add new things, just to let him know it's there.

if you want to feel a bit healthier, I sometimes (when can be bothered), make hm fish fingers by just breading some cut up fish and frying - only way dc will eat salmon

Argh. Children don't need enormous amounts of protein. A couple of yoghurt, a bit if cheese and a fish finger is enough

He's going to get a lot of vitamins (including lots of protein) in through his milk, which is good. DD is allergic to egg and doesn't like chicken. So most of her protein is from her milk.

Dry snacks that are healthy(ish..):

• Cheerios
• Air popped popcorn
• Carrot sticks (boiled so they're soft)
• Toast
• Cucumbers
• Any fruits/veggies

DD (17 months) likes to play with her food more than eat it some days. We just keep offering it to her, and if she eats it great, if not, we just supplement it with toast and a banana so she doesn't go to bed hungry. I think that being relaxed about it and just consistently putting what we eat on her tray has helped her broaden her horizons. We also try to make a few things we know she'll like.

"If amount is an issue then why not have things in bowls and let him serve himself, will give him a feeling of being in control and no issues about amount. Put what you are having there too and make it clear that he can have anything out of any of the bowls, serve yourself out of the bowls so its a family thing"

He's 16 months. I know our DD (17 months) would have a grand old time squeezing all the food and putting it on her plate and our plates and the floor, but she wouldn't really connect that the food she takes is what she has to eat because she wants to watch the world burn.

How is he with other wet textures like paint? I added bit of food colouring to yoghurt (the strong ones you only have wave a cocktail stick at to colour masses), not as food exactly, but as a fun way to explore textures. He got it everywhere and was tempted to explore by mouth too and it really helped him get a bit braver.

YANBU, white fish every day isn't a problem in itself. Obviously get very good ones rather than the 30 for £1, if at all possible. I'd also make sure to use real butter on the bread and toast, full fat yoghurt and see if you can get a bit of cream in the porridge too. Of course it's a pretty restrictive diet which I can see is probably really annoying, but it's reasonably balanced.

Is the HV ok with his weight? By definition, someone has to be on the 9th centile.

I would have been ecstatic if that was what my dc ate at that age. It sounds fine, remember he is only a baby. They really don't need much at that age.

Thanks for the replies, they're helpful and we're taking advice on board.

I know he doesn't need loads of protein TeamBacon but sometimes he can go weeks only having what's in his formula. He does need some. That's why I want to give him fish fingers every day along side new things. We have days where he will literally only eat his breakfast and only half of that. So about 4 spoons of porridge. He is skinny, very very skinny. It's really hard putting your child to bed at the end of the day knowing they've only eaten 4 spoons of food or a yoghurt.

He was in special care for a week when he was born and there was a lot of emphasis on him gaining weight and now we're just still worried about that. The health visitor isn't worried, he's following his line so apparently that's fine and they actually said last week that we should stop worrying about him being thin because they're trying to get away from people thinking babies should be chubby. It's really hard though when you've had this worry since day one :(

He doesn't have reflux or problems swallowing and we don't panic over him getting messy at all. We try to do messy play with him and let him play with sand and mud and shaving foam and all sorts. He doesn't really enjoy those things either though and seems to panic after about 5 mins and want his hands cleaned. He never attempts to put any messy play in his mouth.

He will eat sweet things. He likes brioche and would probably eat a whole loaf of it if I let him. I don't really want to be giving him loads of crap just because he wont eat anything else though tbh we have resorted to that a few times.